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Bianca
Master August 2019 Ontario

Save the Dates and Out of Town Guests

Bianca, on October 2, 2018 at 13:15 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 34
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Happy Tuesday everyone!

I need your advice on when I should send out my save the dates!

FH and I are inviting several out of town guests, and would like to give them as much notice as possible for our upcoming nuptials. We just received out STDs today (YAY!), and I'm going to start addressing them ASAP, but am still lost as to when I should send them. As per etiquette (according to the internet), STDs should go out 4 months prior to the wedding, but that seems a little close to me.

What do you all think? What did you do?

Thanks!

Photo via: funkypigeon.com

34 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on March 18, 2019 at 21:25
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute

    Thanks everyone who took the time to reply to this! I ended up sending out my save the dates in October-November and it all worked out just fine Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    STD card to be sent out about 7-8 months ahead. That should give your out of town guests enough time to make arrangements.

    I received one for my cousins this year in February and the actual invitation should be coming in July with the mid month August deadline to reply for September wedding.

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    This are very pretty.

    To me 4 months is closer to when the actual invitation could go out. We are getting married in December and we sent our save the dates out the beginning of May, we would have sent them sooner but that’s when we decided on a date.

    I say anywhere from a year to 6 months is good. If you have a lot of people travelling more then just a couple hours by car, I would send them out by 8 months.

    More notice give people time to plan vacation time, arrange travel, things like that.
    • Reply
  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·
    • Dispute

    I'm getting married August 3rd, 2019 .. we are sending our save the dates to our out of town guests around christmas time, and then our real invitations in May 2019. most of them will be given by hand so we don't have to worry about mailing. Also we are having people RSVP by email

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  • Summer
    Devoted May 2019 Ontario
    Summer ·
    • Dispute
    Our wedding is in May and we’re sending out our save the dates next week!
    • Reply
  • Marleau
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Marleau ·
    • Dispute
    We sent ours about 10 months before our big day. Some people say a year before, I think it’s really up to you.
    • Reply
  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute

    I actually gave an STD to a friend of ours before she returned to Mexico to save us postal anxiety even though we have 2 years still! I think as long as you're 100% certain you want them there, no time is too early.

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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
    • Dispute
    I actually sent mine out super super early. Like 20 months before the wedding. Only because 90% of my guests are in the UK and for flights if you book a year out they’re cheaper so I wanted time for them to save up for that.
    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    View quoted message

    Yeah, I was originally going to send them around December, but I don't want them getting lost with all the other holiday mail. I'll probably wait until January to send mine but my wedding is also 2 months after yours.

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  • Allison
    Frequent user June 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    So cute !!

    Personally I sent mine out 9 months ahead, we are getting married June 22, 2019 and I sent them just before the weekend of September 22, 2019. I couldn't wait any longer! My fiancé's cousin is getting married the first weekend of June 2019 and they sent them sometime during the summer of 2018 so it is truly up to you. I do agree with other comments that 4 months is much too late, thats the earliest I would send my invitations!

    If you are getting married in August, I would send them sometime in November 2018 or January 2019 even if I was you. I feel like if you send them in December they will get lost in the mix of Christmas related items.

    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    View quoted message

    He wishes he was! lol He's actually a mix of Metis/Icelandic. But yes, your BFF is completely correct. All Ukrainian parties are amazing - back when I went to the National Ukrainian Festival in 2017 my FH was AMAZED at our ability to party. Almost everybody there was polka-ing till 3am and we were all having a fun time. People were dancing on peoples shoulders, being swung all around, and climbing the middle pole in the tent. We can get real rowdy.

    Must haves include polkas, vodka or homebrew, and of course our excellent food! (Probably going to be our midnight snack as well as rib

    This is what the night consists of: Kolomyjka (Late night after party)

    • Reply
  • Leah
    VIP April 2019 British Columbia
    Leah ·
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    View quoted message
    Unfortunately it’s not a destination wedding in the usual sense. We live in Toronto, and we’re getting married in Victoria, BC. All but 2 of the guests will be coming in from out of town. So i guess it can be better described as a a cross country destination wedding.

    [We’re using electronic save the dates and invitations (yay AppyCouple), for convenience, but I just hit me that we will need to go through the address request/collection process in order to send thank you cards. 🤦🏾‍♀️.]


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  • Tyanna
    Super June 2019 British Columbia
    Tyanna ·
    • Dispute
    My wedding is in june 2019. I sent mine in june 2018.

    My town has HUGE tourism in the summer, so I sent notices saying to book now, or forever regret it Haha! Invitations will not be going out until the new year, but most of our guests have booked hotel already. (Which also gives me a fairly good RSVP list) muahah
    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Hahah I can't imagine someone being like "This is too early!!" to an invitation either.

    I like how you're going to send yours out during important holiday times for you. Is your FH Ukrainian as well? I don't know too much about the culture but I hear the weddings are fun (from my BFF who's Ukrainian lol). And I really like how you're spacing yours out with enough time to send invitations to your B-List (something I completely forgot about).

    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    View quoted message

    Thanks for your input! I'm going to send out my STD's soon since it's just logical, right? I'll probably send them out before the end of the month to beat the holiday mail that is sure to come.

    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    That's exactly the timeline I was thinking for sending mine! I'm going to figure out the rest of the guest addresses before sending them out (believe it or not, I'm still missing some addresses, spouses names, etc.).

    Where's your destination wedding? I'm just hoping that one of my friends has a destination wedding sometime since they seem like so much fun!

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    I'm glad to hear that your guests were happy to get the STD's so early! Makes me feel better for wanting to send ours out so early.

    The furthest guests will be coming from China, while the majority of our OOT guests I'm concerned about will be coming from Winnipeg and Arizona (we're in Toronto). I'm definitely going to send them out ASAP since our wedding is 10 months away and I'm just too excited not to get them out lol.

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  • Renee
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Renee ·
    • Dispute
    Since you have them now, I would send them now. People will stick it on their fridge or cork board or whatever they have lol they put in calander and keep it in mind. I really feel like there is no exact timeline other than the earlier the better. My deadline was September 1st, my wedding is October 19th and I'm STILL finalizing a few RSVP's. It's never ending lol
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    Sent the STDs now to have your OFT guests make arrangements for visas and travel. They can also keep the date free beforehand.
    • Reply
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    • Dispute
    I think 4 months is more in line for a local wedding not on a long weekend.
    In general I would think anywhere from 6-12 months depending on the location and time of year is a good timeframe. If its a destination wedding for people give them more time to make those extra travel arrangements.
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    We sent ours out 9 months in advance.

    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    4 months is super close!
    I’m sending mine just after the new year for our October wedding.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    4 months is waaaay too late. Invitations are supposed to go out 3 to 4 months (more like 3).

    I would say Save The Dates should be the 6-8 month range... but 8 or 9 months would still be fine. Honestly, once you're 100% on your date, you can send them. Just remember if there's any "maybes" for your guest list, anyone who gets a STD must receive an invitation, so if you're hesitant on anyone, you can hold off on sending them anything.


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  • Angel
    Frequent user June 2019 British Columbia
    Angel ·
    • Dispute

    I sent out our Save The Dates at the one year mark. We sent them out electronically! For the out of town guests, I told them verbally about 2 months before I sent the Save the Dates as I feel like they should be given more notice to look for cheaper flight options! My official invites will go out late Jan for my June wedding as I need to order some items overseas which may take 2 months to get here!

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    Ok first off those are adorable!!
    And second... where in the world did you read 4 months?? Are you sure that wasnt for the formal invites? I'm getting married May of next year and out Save the Dates are already out! I think 8-10 month advance for save the dates and then 4-6 months advance for invitations is more common from what I've seen online and what I feel like is reasonable! The sooner the better for out of towners tbh!
    • Reply
  • Shla
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Shla ·
    • Dispute
    I sent mine at the year mark. I wanted to give plenty of time for people to save and be ready.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute

    I would say send soon if they are international guests (10 months to 1 year away). if they are out of province or just live far away. I think 8-9 months is a good number.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Frequent user October 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    The internet says 4 months prior!? wow no way, that's too close for me.


    Half our guest list is out of the country, and the tickets to just come to the city are quite expensive, so we will be sending our save the dates on first week of November of this year. This gives them a little less than a year to get their plans together.


    I say send them when you want, I don't think sending them out a year early is a terrible idea. We're getting magnets done, so it'll be stuck on their fridge, they won't be able to forget about it!


    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Rekramer that 6-8 months would be far enough in advance without being too far out.

    • Reply
  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
    • Dispute

    We sent ours out 9 months in advance. In retrospect, that may have been too far in advance but we couldn't wait and we had family travelling internationally. I would send it 6-8 months in advance of the wedding date.

    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    I have my dad's side of the family living 4.5 hours away so I was thinking of sending out online Save the dates and hand delivering them (to people who don't have computers) at Ukrainian Christmas in January (9 months before the wedding) and then the invitations will go out at Ukrainian Easter in late April (6 months before the wedding) and have the RSVP date as July so we can send out a second round of invites based on if people have declined with a new RSVP date of September (1 month before the wedding).

    To be fair I have never received an invitation and thought "why did they send them out so early??" but I have gotten some and thought "why did they send them out so late?"

    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    I agree that 4 months seems close! That is when I'm probably doing my invites lol. I'm sending my STD's for my October 2019 wedding in the new year (January/February) which is 9-8 month before. I would send yours in November/December if you want roughly the same amount of time.

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