Ring cost- should it be reversed?

My fiancé bought my rings as a set - engagement ring and wedding band. A lot of stores are selling them this way now, so I think they've caught on to that.

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I like it!

I didn't like putting pressure on my s/o with an engagement ring, and I only wanted to wear one ring. So I chose not to have an engagement ring, and we picked out the wedding rings together.

We spent substantially more on my wedding band than he did on my engagement ring. I think because I think of the wedding band as the symbol of eternal love and happiness but the engagement ring is more of a prelude to the wedding band. For his wedding band, we didn't really care about matching - except for the metal - but more so about him liking it and wanting to wear it, after all he's the only that has to look at it all day every day.

I totally agree that the cost should you be reversed, but obviously that's not what jewelers want. I told my FH that I absolutely did not want a super expensive or massive engagement ring because that's not my style - I like simple things. In terms of the band, that's the one that will represent our wedding and the one I will wear for the rest of my life, the engagement ring we can improve upon during our life time together.

The best thing is to discuss it as a couple and do what works best for you.

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Nice! It sounds like it worked out well.

Even if you go with a different jeweler, you may be able to get a custom wedding band that fits her engagement ring!

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Sorta. I looked at a bunch and had input from her sister. But i went with my gut, wanting to this to be a total surprise. She loves it, she says because of the situation surrounding it, it will be more important to her than the wedding band, which we will find together eventually

We went shopping for my ring together. He wanted to know what I liked and he new that I would be wearing it for the rest of my life so having my input was important. When we went to look at rings we also looked at rings for him. Our wedding bands will not be the same, we are okay with that. We are like different things. At the end of the day even though we went ring shopping together he still ended up picking out my ring. I love it. I wanted a cheaper ring then what it ended up but at the end of the day he wanted to spend what he wanted to spend.

I agree with you; as long as she loves her engagement ring, you're golden! Did she ever drop hints as to what style of engagement ring and/or wedding band she'd prefer?

Yes I’m sure we can change it as we haven’t paid for it yet. The jeweler is a friend so I’m thinking it will be ok. I just hope he has more to choose from. We have to buy it there.

My fiance ended up picking out a matching bridal set, so the pressure to even look for a wedding ring was not required, however there are parts of me that wish I could have been involved in both processes.

As a side note- I lived in Sweden for several years and their tradition is to get engaged without a ring, and then go shopping together. Both the girl and guy pick out engagement rings, and then the girl gets an extra ring at the ceremony, so everyone is involved in both processes. While I didn't like the tradition at first, now being engaged and married, I wish it was this way!

View quoted message Thanks for sharing. Yes I suspect that will happen with her too. As long as she has something she loves to wear- that's all I care about at the end of the day

View quoted message Oh noes! I hope you're able to change. My fiancé is paranoid about selecting my ring too soon in case she finds a better one later!

View quoted message Oh it's fine - glad I got her a ring that she totally loves. Will find a wedding ring that matches perfectly eventually !

My FH purchased mine as a set! It worked out so much easier so that we wouldn't have to go back in and look for another ring for myself. Sorry you're having such a hard time with this process

My fiancé picked out a beautiful engagement ring 💍 at $3950 and I went to have it sized and picked from what was in the case my wedding band at $900. We put that one away and will pick it up later closer to the wedding date. Having said that since then I’ve found wedding rings that I like better and would fit my engagement ring better 😩. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I’d like to change my wedding ring but we will have to speak with the owner of the jewelry store and see if he can find me something that would match better.

I agree Jason. The wedding band is far more important! My fiance spent $250 on my opal engagement ring to save on a $1000+ diamond, and we spent just over $400 on the band. I don't know what you're fiancee plans on doing, but my engagement ring doesn't fit amazingly with my wedding band, so I'm only going to wear them together on special occasions Maybe the same can be done with her ring.

My fiancé got my engagement ring a few weeks after the design got released at the jewellers and because it didn't have a matching band yet the jeweller told him to find a matching band while he was there. He didn't buy them at the same time but he knew there were several wedding bands that would go with the curve of my engagement ring.
Usually the engagement ring is more expensive because it's the more extravagant ring. Most wedding bands I've seen are super simple compared to the engagement ring so it makes sense that that's where the money goes

I think it's up to whatever you pick right? You could totally pick a cheaper engagement ring than your wedding band. I'm pretty sure ours would be that way.
Though we're probably less conventional, since I asked him. His ring wasn't in the whole crazy expensive range for sure, but it was something personal I knew he would like. I think etsy is a great solution for things like this. He loves it, but he is sorta convinced he wants to get the actual wedding bands at a jeweler, so I'm guessing itd be more expensive but even still. I think it doesn't need to be cause expensive doesn't necessarily have to mean something he or she likes or that you value your partner more or whatever if you buy more expensive.

We got lucky and my engagement ring has a matching wedding band. My engagement ring has a flat bottom so I thought it would be harder to find a wedding band that was flat on the bottom as well but we went to the store my fiancé purchased it and the company makes one it just has to be ordered in from New York. I asked him what he thought of the price and it was more than what he was expecting and so was the wedding ring he picked out but that’s ok. Unfortunately almost everything has been more expensive than we wanted lol so we’re used to it by now. I feel like they should definitely sell them in sets! Or at least have an option for you to come back and purchase closer to the wedding especially when it’s more of a unique ring!

We picked mine out together and I stayed well below the amount he said he was comfortable spending. After getting engaged I wanted to get him something too because it felt like a lot for him to just get me something. Needless to say, he's getting a great birthday gift.

I let mine pick with reasonable guidelines:

- skip the "2-3 mth salary rule" (flawed thought, imo!)
- small stones (im an ece!)
-14 karat white gold
- my finger size

Yeah, I think this is something that you need to decide as a couple. Every couple is different. I used to think I would not be happy with anything but a diamond. But then I did some research and thinking and realized that a morganite was a better option for me. My FH and I decided before we were even engaged that it was really important to us that we would have matching wedding bands and that we would forge each other’s rings. Because we wanted to do that and make sure we had money for the workshop to make the wedding bands we decided on a more affordable engagement ring. But honestly, everybody is different. Girls grow up being told they will get a shiny diamond ring someday, so if that’s something that matters a lot to her, it’s good to give her what she’s been dreaming of.

I saw this video on youtube on how diamond rings became the thing to get engaged. It's called Adam ruins everything.

I think nowadays alot of women are having more say in their rings than they used to. I had gone with my fiance ring shopping, but he didn't buy, he just wanted to see what I liked. He then ended up buying my engagement ring, wedding band, and his wedding band from a friend. So, I didn't get to pick a ring out at all but that's okay! Because he did such a good job!

At one point I didn't even want an engagement ring, but I'm glad my fiance was able to buy a used set!

I guess that would make sense! But my fiancé ended up buying a set so I didn't have to worry about it! However, during the whole process, he toiled me to the store to get an idea of what I liked so that really helped.

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Thats so true - men's rings have a smaller selection (in my experience) and are less expensive probably for the reason you've stated. Glad you got one you love!

I had the same conversation with my fiancé! I think the engagement rings are so expensive because its main focus is on diamonds, whereas wedding bands are typically less, smaller, or no diamonds. However, yo would think that the promise to love one another would be deserving of the pricier ring.

As a result, I got a wedding ring that I love, but it was considerably cheaper than my finances, but he is totally worth getting the ring he wants! Why not- my two are still likely much more expensive than his one.

I just put this under "Things that make you go hmmm..."