Parents just don't understand!

Give it time and they will come around realizing its your lives together and this is what we want living in Canada oppose to India.

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You have such an amazing family! I'm having a hard enough time getting my Indian fiance's mother to accept a white Canadian girl as her son's choice! I wish all parents were as awesome as yours.

Due to the age gaps in my family, only a few of my cousins are close in age. The rest are very young or a lot older and got married many, many years ago. I think I am the first one to get married in over fifteen years, so literally everyone has an opinion regarding how the wedding *should be* and insisting on traditions I didn’t even know existed. Here is a list of things most people can’t believe:

1. That our venue is a loft and not one of the reception halls they all got married at.
2. That it is a civil ceremony.
3. That we wanted to limit extended family.
4. No head table / honour table.
5. That our wedding favours are mini pies and not like a cheese platter or something.
6. Unplugged ceremony.

My dad just doesn’t understand how expensive weddings are these days. They got married 26 years ago and he thinks it’s still about $30 a plate! It makes me laugh though 😆

My parents are great with helping out with whatever i need, FH's parents haven't been involved at all. But my aunts on my moms side have insisted we have an after party at 7pm. (Our wedding is at 11am, ceremony, lawn games and brunch until 4pm) we weren't planning on having a dance or anything but now we are apparently. And my uncle refuses to come unless his son and sons gf are invited, which we only invited cousins we actually talk to and he isnt one of them and we're already over our maximum guest limit by 15 people. 🙄

There was the time i sat down to let my family know i wanted a henna evening (ladies gettong their hands done) for our gay wedding. I would have wanted it part of our indian culture event, which they put down since there is no bride in this case.

Times are changing and so are how couples want to have celebrate without any objection or put downs from the parents or family.

The wedding and the planning was all taken care by me otherwise than my dad offerinf to pay for the rentals of the centerpeices, floral balls, money box and wedding outfit from India itself.

No my mother doesn't understand at all! She keeps comparing my wedding to hers 20 yrs AGO! She keeps saying why are you doing this when you could do this instead. Which I told her no as the cost of that is too high or that what she mentioned isn't available anymore. For example my wedding dress she wanted to me rent a dress and I said ok but where? It's not common to rent wedding dresses now a days. She didn't understand, thank goodness my FMIL is helpful with wedding things.

Our parents are amazing and love all of our ideas. It’s my Nana who hates them lol. She hates the fact we registered for our honeymoon instead of gifts we have no room for. She hates that we’re having a food truck instead of a traditional caterer, and she hates that we’re having pie instead of cake. She also hates our budget and thinks it’s way too high. In actuality our budget is quite low because we’re really trying to save money. Everyone else has been amazing though! Our families mostly understand we aren’t super traditional people, we just want our wedding to be a big party.

No gift opening party. My fmil asked my fiance when we were having the gift opening party. We aren't. We're doing a brunch with our out of town guests instead.

View quoted message Well it’s the cost for the venue as well and if we up it to 70 dollars per person then we get chair covers, 2 bottles of wine per table and hors d’oeuvres. We are also getting married in the same venue. It’s too hard to try to squeeze our family alone into a small church let alone our friends too. Also we aren’t religious so it doesn’t matter to us where we get married. I am very lucky I found an amazing guy who does anything for me.

View quoted message Good luck! Luckily my caterer is only charging 30 pp but we dont make much money so its still a lot for us.

View quoted message I put my foot down at 56-70 dollars a plate it is crazy to give everyone a plus one. Im thankful my mom understood. Also I’m specifying who is invited because at my cousins wedding my uncle brought another cousin that wasn’t invited as his plus one instead of his wife. This one cousin is known to cause a scene and I do not want her to show up at our wedding.

My FH and I are not traditional at all. We met when we were both attending a proffessional cooking course so we are huge foodies, but we are also in our mid twenties. Our dinner menu is a taco bar with grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato bisque soup for late night snack. Both of our parents HATE the idea. To the point where my FMIL called our venue to try and change the menu on us.

View quoted message I wish people would understand the no plus ones. Theyre surrounded by fanily its not like theyre alone. I got pressured into letting everyone have a plus one

View quoted message I didnt get pressured into a venue but i would say that my future in laws have invited so many people that about 75% of the people there i have never met

People cant get over the fact that were not having chair covers... in our rustic lounge venue. Lol

For my mom it was the fact that I said no kids. Under 3 is free and over 15 is what we are going to have. She was like, “but you use to have so much fun at weddings as a kid.” It’s just too expensive and with big families there are very few friends invited for the dinner. We have had friends ask to be invited even just for the ceremony and the dance. I know that was an unpopular opinion before on here, but they just want to have a fun time and see my ceremony as it’s going to be extra special incorporating more Indigenous culture into it.

Also she got stuck on the plus one. My one cousin got married last August and her parents are rich and so she could afford to give everyone a plus one. Whereas for us we aren’t able to, do aunts, uncles, and cousins that I know are single won’t be getting a plus one.

Our families are very different - mine is very close, we call each other just to chat, visit most holidays and random weekends through the year. His family only ever talk on special occasions, and get together for 'major' holidays. So they are very different in their involvements...

My parents have been really quite amazing. The few times my mom has started to say "But..." she has quickly caught herself and changed to "Is that what you want? Than that's what you should have/do." I really appreciate her working hard to make sure she's not pushing her ideas onto me.

His parents literally just said "We don't want to do anything with the wedding; we'll help pay for something, just let us know when you need a cheque." The most they're doing is coming to the bridal shower - where my family is helping with everything (picking up things I'm buying second hand in another city, opinions when I ask for them, and helping with the venue set up when the wedding finally comes), his family likely won't even show up until the ceremony.

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I love those random things that people get hung up on that are so unexpected.

My mom it was cake. lol

Where do I begin?! Full disclosure, my parents have been pretty awesome with everything, but there is some things that they don't understand.

- My mom thought that white is what you wore for you first wedding and if you remarried then you'd wear ivory or any other off-white. My dress will be ivory, but it looks white to my mom.

- Our long engagement and how long it takes to plan things. Granted, my parents got engaged within 9 months of meeting and married 6 months after that. Our engagement is 2 years and we were dating 2 years before getting engaged.

- Doing things online, not so much opposed but baffled about how much I'm able to do sitting at my computer when I really should be working...

- The amount of money a decent wedding costs.

- Not my parents, but a lot of my dad's family is Catholic, and some aunts are trying to understand why I'm getting married in a tropical atrium and not in a church. I'm not Catholic or very religious in general.

Eloping. Back then, you did that only if you were pregnant, also known as a “Shot gun” wedding

My mum was mostly pretty cool about things but she didn't really understand at first that we weren't going to have a cake. She thought that meant no dessert of any kind so once I explained everything to her she was fine.

My in-laws believe that the wedding is also for the parents, which proved to be very difficult when making the guest list. They felt entitled to more guests than we had spaces for, and actually pressured us to try and find a bigger venue so that we could invite more people :p

Well... my mom got married in her living room so I don’t have to worry too much from her.. but she is very skilled with baking and is super particular about “not dropping the ball” on desserts lmao. Where as my MIL can be blunt and opinionated about things.. I told her we needed chair covers for the baby blue and burgundy chairs, she doesn’t agree lmao I’m having kind of a vintage glam wedding with navy, gold, and blush.. she can be very outspoken so I need to learn to accept that.. some days though 💆‍♀️🙃

I think my parents have been pretty awesome with everything. They eloped and my sister did a destination wedding so I think my mom is super excited that I'm having a big wedding close to home and going all out with a big dress and everything!

His parents had a hard time understanding that things work differently in bigger cities than their small home town. They don't care about RSVPs and just let people show up if they want. His family didn't make us aware that one of them isn't coming until today and the wedding is on Saturday and we have already paid for their darn meal. It's so frustrating.

My parents got married at a JoP and then had a small reception at my grandparents house. My mother wore a burgundy pantsuit. My folks were very unconventional for the 70’s in England.


They have encouraged us to make our day our own. To balk tradition.

My mother’s made a point of repeatedly stating she doesn’t want to tell us what to do, it’s our process, no one could tell her what to do etc.

For the most part, she’s pretty cool...but the one thing she insists upon? Chair covers.

🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

You don't need a ballgown and long veil for the bride to "stand out";

Classic church music isn't mandatory for the processional.

The cost and the expectations, they thing it costs an insane amount of money and they think we can do whatever we want, except when we do whatever we want, they or someone else complains.

My parents have been pretty understanding of the times! They just wanted to have a good portion of the guest list lol.

Unplugged ceremonies are a thing.

veil/tiara are not necessary "to stand out"

bride can walk either solo or whoever she chooses- does not need to be the dad.

My mum has been the most involved, she didn't really understand me having 2x maid of honours! I went with my best friend & my sister as I wanted them both to have the honour, she said it should be your friend & not your sister but she didn't fuss about it, just had to explain to her thats what I wanted & Felt.

Also the first look I think has been confusing & may be confusing to my dad & his side as well! But we are both so shy & I know it will calm our nerves & give us the time to react & take each other in