Newly engaged... what do i do?

A bbq for family and friends is a good idea to keep low on cost. We never had one.

Buck and Buck was held by our friends at his salon since we couldn't afford the cost of everything.

The planning for the wedding was the biggest expense which was taken care by me mostly
And husband took on some of the expenses.

Plan to what is affordable fpr your budget. That's my advise.

Hey Kayla, first things first, CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT. Everything you wrote is 100% what I was thinking when I got engaged in May. I don't think you HAVE TO do anything you don't want to do.

I will tell you I wanted to keep things simple - I didn't want an engagement part, jack and jill, or anything like that. With that being said my fiance's parents decided they wanted to throw us an engagement party at their farm - more of a family bbq - they really only invited his family which feels weird to me. So, in my head it's more of a family bbq and not an engagement party. I'd say if you want an engagement party you can do it whenever you want, even if it's a few months after your engagement. You can go all out and rent a hall, restaurant etc OR you can keep it low key an have a bbq at home. I don't like jack and jills so I told my fiance I really don't want one. From what I know I think you can literally invite anyone to a jack and jill whether they're invited to your wedding or not. It's a way of making money before your wedding, but be careful because some people end up paying more to host the party than they make. My mom is planning a bridal shower for me 4 months before the wedding date. We decided to do it at a hall and have brunch. This way everything is arranged by the venue and we just need to bring in what we want to (e.g. cake, prizes). We're inviting all the ladies that are invited to the wedding (approx 60). Our wedding itself is going to be about 120-150 ppl by choice. I didn't want a massive 500 person wedding.

Just have a talk with your fiance and decide what you two are thinking BEFORE the inlaws & your parents get involved.

I'm probably the oldest bride here but I just want to say, KEEP IT SIMPLE. You don't have to do everything that everyone else does. Start with setting up your wedding and don't worry about all these other parties. Make a list of how may people to invite (and consider how many will likely come), then book your venue as soon as possible. Maybe your mother or other relative will give you a bridal shower but you don't have to organize that. Just show up. Most of all, calm down.

Hi Kayla! Nice to meet you! I know it could be a little bit overwhelming everything. Here I send you some discussion that could help you out. Jack and jill 2017 - Our jack & jill party 😁 - Bridal shower - Bridal shower who throws it? to have one or not? when? - Who to invite to bridal shower? - My bridal shower!! - Engagement pictures!. I hope this helps and this you can meet the other brides and get tips of them. I made this discussion: 10 stages every bride goes. Let me know if you like it. Xx

Thank you Erin! This was really reassuring.

It all depends on what you want to do. I do not particularly want a bridal shower so I probably won't have one. We didn't have an engagement party and won't be doing a jack and jill either. These days there seems to be no hard and fast rules about what you should do so just go with what makes you happy but don't overdo it. Also, seeing as you have family everywhere, people may not be able to make everything, especially if they have to travel every time, so just be prepared for that.

We did a red and black theme! I made a discussion a while back after it all happened!

Jack and jill 2017 is what the discussion is called. not sure how to post the link, it doesn't seem to be working for me atm. https://community.weddingwire.ca/forums/jack-and-jill-2017--t4884

What did you do for the jack and jill? Thank you so much for your response!

As far as an engagement party goes, I am unsure because I didn't have one. But I did have a jack and jill and I had one bridal shower already and am having a second one this weekend. The point of a jack and jill is to generally raise money and you invite all your friends and family and even friends of friends! Usually a family member or the bridesmaids will throw you a shower and usually the wedding party will take control of the jack and jill. For me I planned most of the jack and jill myself as I like things a certain way but they all helped with it.