Curious

I'm against inviting people to part of the wedding: either all or none. That being said, wedding ceremonies used to be open events (at least where I'm from!); anyone could go to the ceremony but just those with invitations would know where the reception was being held. Those without invitations would go home after wishing the new couple good luck.

I personally am considering this too. My fiancé and I have large family’s and so we have to limit the number of friends we can invite. Most of the people we are inviting to the ceremony and reception is going to be family and out of town friends.

I am also thinking about having a ceremony and dance invite for other friends that just don’t fit into our budget. A lot of my other friends would love the dance and I would have wedding cake for them too.


In the end it’s your day and you can choose what is best for you and your guests. Also if it’s self invites and you don’t really want them there I would just be honest and say that it’s not in your budget as weddings are by no means cheap.

I would just be upfront with this person and say that you don't have room for them at the wedding. I wouldn't only invite them to the ceremony, that seems a bit rude. Sounds like you don't want them there anyways, so just "forget" to invite them and if they ask you can say that there's just not enough room at your venue?

Its not wrong at all if they said they have invited themselves. They can sit through the wedding and then the rest of the day. The reception is not their pace to be afterwards.

I have heard of people being invited to the reception and not the ceremony but not the other way around. If they have invited themselves then I would say that you can go either way with your response. If you don't really care about the person then just tell them that due to numbers or budget you cannot accommodate another person.

It's not wrong per say but it might come off as rude. Is it just this one individual? How many people are you inviting to your ceremony versus your reception?

View quoted message Oh gosh self invites are the worst!!! My church Deacon is literally comming back from a trip to Israel a day early to be at our wedding...before being invited! Just blame budget or numbers. Our ceremony is an hour long so it's worth it for people to swing by, but if you're having a shorter ceremony, I'd maybe say bite the bullet and tell them sorry but no.

View quoted message Okk thanks i wasnt sure

Thats the thing im trying to be nice by inviting them. Because they pretty much invited themselves already. But i dont care about them enough to spend $25 for a plate for them

I don't see a problem with it. If you have a strict limit on how many people your venue will hold, then it only makes sense. I'm having only 135 guests (trust me, it's small by my standards. My FH sister had 240 guests), and I'm having some people I'm informally inviting to the ceremony to pray with us (Catholic Mass ceremony).

I wouldn't give those invites a formal paper invite though. Maybe just call them or speak to them in person

I wouldn’t say it is wrong but probably might insult them.

I mean if if it was the other way around, would you be slighted?