Yay or Nay: Ringbearer and Flower Girl?

We are having 4 children involved in our wedding. We have ideas of what we want them to do, but we will get a better idea when we have the rehearsal. The two year old may not walk with the flower girl, he might prefer his brothers. I think when you include children, you have to have a little bit of flexibility because they are unpredictable! We don't have a plan B: if the child decides they don't want to cooperate, then they won't and we just won't have a flower girl or ring bearer.

I think 5 is a good age. We are having 2 that are younger than that. The other thing we are doing is they aren't staying at the front. Once they walk up the aisle, they will join their parents rather than stand at the front.

My friend's ring bearer was too nervous to walk down the aisle. She was able to find someone else willing to do it, but she was prepared to not have a ring bearer at all.

We are having 2 Flower Girls and 2 Ring Bearer's. I have 2 kids (boy -12 and girl is 9) and he has twins (boy/girl 8) so it was not an option of where or not they were in the wedding. On the plus side there will be no drama as they are old enough to walk down the isle and are actually looking forward to it. The oldest boy will probably be more of a Junior Groomsmen as he doesn't want to walk down the isle - I'm good with that. The girls got to choose - matching flower girl or match the bridesmaids and they chose Flower girls!

5 1/2 is a great age! My ringbearer will be my 1 1/2 year nephew who'll either come in with his sister the flower girl in a wagon or with his mom (my FSIL who is a bridesmaid). My flower girl will be 6 for the wedding and she is a diva queen! She likes being the centre of attention and has been a flower girl in the past. Both will have the option to stand (or sit in the wagon) with us or sit with family in the front row.

We didn't have a ring bearer since the best man(s) would have them anyway. Flower girls or kids i would say since we had that on our day of entry only. That was within the family too.

Our ring bearers were 4.5 and 3.5 and they were fine. They both walked up and handed the rings to the appropriate people without incident. One went right back to his seat and one actually ended up standing there for the ceremony.

My ring bearer will be just 6, and my flower girl will be just 2 by the time the wedding comes. I cant imagine having my wedding without these 2!!

We're debating having a ring bearer and a flower girl too. The ages are a major concern since the ring bearer will be 7 (he's not a problem), but the flower girl will be 4.5 and she's already very shy.

I think 5 and a half is a find age for a ring bearer tbh. It really depends on the children and the parents. I think it's something that can be asked probably 6 months out since it will be up to the parents and finding appropriate kids clothes for it should be no problem.

Honestly my mum had a two year old flower girl and their plan was if the day comes and she’s not feeling it, she doesn’t have to do it, she could just wear the outfit and get her in some pictures later in the day.

5 1/2 is a good age. They might be little shits at times but at that age they’re more likely to understand that they get a special role and are more likely to participate because they are getting to be special.

I think 5.5 is probably a great age. We're full on risking tantrums for ours and just decided to be okay with whatever happens. We have 3 flower girls (friends' kids - ages 2, 3, and 4) and 2 ring bearers (nephews - both age 2), so it's a pretty young group. My FH and I discussed the options together and with our friends and made sure everyone was comfortable with it. We're not putting expectations on them. If they make it down the aisle, amazing; if they don't, that's okay too - we still get to include them in our celebration and experience the cuteness overload. With the possible exception of one of the nephews (the terrible twos are real...), they're all very well behaved kids.

I would say that the age range is anywhere from 3-6. I was 4 when I was a flower girl and by that age I knew not to have a temper tantrum or fuss. The brides son on the other hand - was 2. He was crying the entire time I walked beside him down the isle. For my wedding I will not be having kids there in general - so no need for the flower girl/ ring bearer. A ring bear on the other hand is still up for debate

You should be able to tell if they kids your considering have decent temperaments/behaviours... but if you're worried, you might just want to avoid it, or it will cause unnecessary stress.

I'm having an adults only wedding, so there won't be any kids to have a FG/RB... but now that I've made that decision, I personally feel relieved.

I love the cuteness, and the photo opportunities... but I don't think it's going to be something I miss... whereas a tantrum, or going the wrong way, would make me rip my hair out.

I made it clear right away I did not want kids in the bridal party (he has 3 nieces and 2 nephews all in the right age range). I think he might have been a bit disappointed but didn’t push back on it. All for the same concerns you have and we also want to keep the ceremony short and sweet. His mom agreed with me and my fears and said they didn’t have kids either.

I think 5.5 is on the bubble just because at that age you may get a good day or a bad day. If the possibility of them having an off day or off moment is going to cause you undue stress leading up to and on the day then skip them. But if you really want them to be a part of the wedding party and your ok with the possibility that they will be unpredictable then I say go with it and just have a designated adult on standby for each of them. You can always let the kids bow out on the day if they’re having that off of a day.

Depends on how close you are to them as well. you could have just your nephew and not a flower girl.
we are having our nephew has ring bearer (he will be 4 at the time of the wedding) and our niece will be a junior bridesmaid (she will be 12 when we get married). we are very close to them. it was important for me to have them apart of the wedding.
for our nephew, his mom will be sitting up in the first row. his dad is in the wedding party. as long as he makes it up there I'm good. I couldn't care less if he stands with the guys or sits with his mom.