Wedding Planning "envy"

I feel you!!! Ive been engaged for almost 6 years and since then my stepdad has gotten engaged (and married) and my FH's sister got engaged and her wedding is tomorrow (I wasnt invited because I wouldnt leave my service dog in a kennel for 2 days) and my step cousin (step dads new wifes neice) is engaged and now so is my bio mom!!! Im just sitting here like "i did it first" but no one is concerned or excited or even helping! it started with my stepmom and stepdad and it just got worse and worse with each engagement. They all have support and im doing this completely alone. Ive decided to just pull myself out of their lives for the time being when it comes to their weddings and engagements because it just makes me worry more about my own when i know at the end of the day its not about what it looks like its about me marrying my FH

family photo

We all know that small families don't have much to worry about spending so much on weddings.

Being Indian and knowing how many wedding are taking place during the year, it also becomes a vacation time too. That being said, Short version of the family tree, 5 brother and 1 sister along with their spouses and kids all are adding up over the years to become about 100 people in 1 family (last names changed for brides and kids). The number also includes us from Canada since we have all become part of the family too, not forgetting the newborns.

This year so far 2 weddings have taken place, 1 in May and the other coming up in September.

Immediate family from moms side (half the count) of the family that's part of my moms third sister.

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Another cousin of mine got engaged this past weekend and is getting married next summer. I can't keep up! I don't think we will be attending as sounds like a small wedding so all good but yikes.

Anyway, we are a bit "bells and whistles" people so there are some things that we being extravagant with (mostly the food, lets be honest) but then others that we are "cheaping" out on, like the DJ! Which we have so many surprising opinions about. I agree that it is all about staying true to you and your groom at the end of the day. I feel like our venue has kept me pretty restricted in terms of style and decor and extras which is good, and sometimes a little disappointing but then I go back to the venue and totally remember why we chose there. Thanks for the advice!

I'm envious of people who don't get envious of other people planning their weddings!

I think it's easy to start comparing and thinking "I should do that", but it's important to have the wedding you can afford and one that is authentic to you! So if having all the bells and whistles is authentic to you and your FH, by all means go for it, but if you two are not that extravagant, then keep it simple.

I honestly can't imagine how you're feeling tho! That's a lot of weddings happening and it must be impossible not to compare. I only have one friend getting married this year but we are having very different weddings.

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My bridesmaid is getting married this weekend and a lot of what she's doing (garden, florals) doesn't fit our theme so knowing I'm not missing out by not doing what she's doing definitely helps!

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Wedding talk is super addicting! But yes, sometimes I need a break from it just because all the ideas are super overwhelming.

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Oh man! That makes it really hard I bet. Especially because there are so many things, and trends and such. I hope you have a lot of options in terms of venues and such!

View quoted message I created a little vision board to go back to so that I could remind myself what I originally loved when I wanted to change my mind a million times haha. I agree on needing to delete the app sometimes!

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Focusing on the fact that not everything is going to fit with our style really helps keep it all into perceptive for sure. I can't wait to see our wedding all put together for sure!

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That is all fair, thanks for the advice!

Wedding talk seems to come up at many places work, social events and planning stages. Its hard to keep all your details in order if another idea comes up or oh that looks so good and I want it.

Keep true to your theme and style without going over your budget. Let everyone else take ideas they like or if they want to copy yours. I did that exactly knowing it was simple and low key. Keep the information to yourself if you feel the ideas for you are to have everyone see your vision. Hear others speak and limit on how much you want to share.

My friend (and bridesmaid) was getting married two weeks after me so we talked weddings a lot in the beginning. My husband was really good about bringing me back to reality. We couldn’t afford to do everything I suggested so he would say “well, if we do that, what are we cutting out?” I also realized I don’t want to do everything my friend is doing because then our weddings would be the same! I eventually stopped talking all the details with my friend because I wanted some things to be kept secret.

I feel the opposite lol. We're one of the last in a group of friends to get married, so I'm trying to not "copy" anything from any of the other weddings. Avoiding all those venues, dress styles, colours....everything!

Definitely trying to make this day ours

But I can totally see how some people can be distracted by shiny things, or get sucked down the pinterest rabbit hole! I definitely felt that way when we were first engaged, but being closer to the day helps put things in perspective more too.

YUP I feel this! however, with pinterest. I've had to delete my app and stop looking at certain things because I change my mind 100x a day haha! just know that you picked what you did for a reason, and it doesn't hurt to take a little inspo from others but stay true to you and what you originally loved

I totally relate to this!! Like Casey, I have so many pins on Pinterest for different themes/colour options that when I started booking things, I had to start narrowing it all down.

With IRL weddings happening around you, it can be tempting to "steal" ideas from others since they have it, but your wedding will be unique with its features, and theirs will also be unique. If you can, look back on your vision and remind yourself how good it's going to look all put together. Also not everything will fit - if your wedding is more elegant and ballroom-y, rustic decor won't look as good with your overall vision.

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Yes that is actually a great idea and something I am already working on! Plus, out of the other future weddings happening around ours, I am helping plan a couple so I still get to be apart of the creative process of other ideas which is kind of neat.

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Lol Pinterest is great, until you have to delete all your lovely pins that have been saved up over the years lol! Picking a venue for sure helps, but maybe the options that you had to get rid of, you can incorporate into a shower, or bachelorette?

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Oh Pintrest! I just streamlined my wedding board the other day to be more in line with what we have chosen for style. Our venue really helped nail it down and decide alot, which made it easy but it did take away some of the "endless options" feeling. So I think maybe I am experiencing a bit of envy at not getting to have ALL the options for me to pick from.

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Thank you!

Our decor is fairly minimal as well because the venue is so beautiful on its own we don't want to take away from that. So that makes it easy. But then also on the flipside, a few people are planning "blank slate" weddings where EVERYTHING has to be set up or created and it sounds really cool! Alot of work though so I guess there is that. I am planning to take the summer off from wedding planning and wedding talk (unless prompted by questions from others) as a break sounds nice!

I completely get it! Before getting engaged my Pinterest board was somewhere between 300 - 500 pins, and they were all over the place. I loved everything. But then once you start booking things, you really need to narrow it down, and stick to your theme. Stick to what you and your FH want. Try not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, because then you will be changing your mind every other day.

The early stages of planning are so exciting because your options are endless.

This is totally relatable! I had that while planning our wedding as well because there are several other friends of ours getting married this summer. We just tried to stay focused on what we wanted for our wedding and what made our wedding unique. We also tried to keep decorations and everything to a minimum which helped us from straying too far.

Even after the wedding is finished I'm still finding things that I think would have been great to have, but our wedding was what we wanted and it was perfect. Enjoy planning your wedding, and if it gets too much try to take a step back from all the wedding talk.

Good luck!