Wedding guests

View quoted message I am so sorry to hear that you just found that news out. My fiance actually went through the same thing a few years ago with his Dad! This was an incredible shock to him, however we have been very lucky to meet this new side of the family (his biological Dad's side) and we get along very well with them. Unfortunately.. weddings can bring out the worst in people even those you would expect would be there to support you the most. I would just do what feels right to you and your fiance, that way their are no regrets (or at least there shouldn't be) because it was your choice. I would hope your Dad would ultimately respect your decision, but if he feels that he should have a choice because he is paying, could you still do the wedding without his contribution? Hope it works out!

View quoted message I have explained to him my feelings but he said it's disrespectful and not traditional. Can't pick or choose family. But I just found out he is not my biological dad and still need to confront my mother about it.

I would say, if your parents are paying for a large portion of the bill, they do have a say in who gets invited. I would try and reason with your Dad and tell him how you feel and why. Hopefully he understands!

View quoted message That is very sensible. I know what you mean about tables. We have 13, its an awakward number especially since some of the decor I want comes in packs of 6.

Your parents are paying a huge chunk but that does not mean all of it. You still have the most say about the wedding and who you invite. My rule for wedding guests no matter who is paying is if you haven't talked to them in the last year then they don't invite them. Yes your parents might be mad at first but why waste time and money to send invites if you know they won't come or even if they were disrespectful to your FH.

This is the problem... the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules. If your parents are making a considerable contribution, it becomes very difficult to go against their wishes. If you pay for your own wedding, you don't have to invite people you really don't know.

I had the similar thing happen to me. Honestly, it's your wedding, and you should explain that to your parents. Hopefully they will understand. It's your day not theirs, regardless if they are helping pay for it.

Hi Alexa!

There are tons of discussions in the community regarding guest list do's and don'ts since many brides come across similar situations. Here are a few:

Guest list etiquette - what to do

Guest list: Which family members to invite

Guest list help

I hope you find a few brides that can relate in the comments in these discussions! Have you picked out your bridal bouquet yet?

View quoted message

They are paying for my wedding dress, decorations , half of catering (pay for their side of family) , half of alcohol(pay for my families alcohol) and wedding flowers. I think I will give 40 people to my fiancee side(his family and family friends are small) , 40 to my side and 40 for coworkers/friends; I think that is fair. Do not want more than 15 tables, refuse to have to move tables around for a dance floor.

If your parents are paying a "huge chunk" of your wedding then they get alot of say about who gets invited... You can refuse their money and invite who you want but if they are funding your wedding they defiantly get a say.

View quoted message That's fair idea. I think it's hard to say an exact count just because one side of family is bigger than others. I'll check with my seating chart and see. We do have lots of friends we want to invite because don't want to invite all family( both sides of family is older)

View quoted message My parents did say they will pay for their meals but it's not money I am worried about but space I do not want more than 15 tables and refuse to not invite co-workers or close friends just because my parents want me to invite whole family who just by themselves take up three tables just for my dad's side

That's a tough one. I'd take a look at the budget and see how many people you can afford. I would also go by tiers. So all aunts & uncles, all first cousins, etc. and be fair to both sides. You can also say that you are having 100 guests, you get to choose 50 from your side so make your list and see who they want to add as long as it's within your range of people.
I've had some issues with this too and I wasn't expecting it! Just remember that it's you and your fiancés day and stick to your guns!

That's a tough position to be in, but one I am all too familiar with as I am in the same boat. I want to invite the closest cousins, but I'm being encouraged to invite the whole side of Dads family. So far, some are in the 'a-list' for invites, and others are in the 'b-list'. My parents agreed to this and we will invite B-list guests as the A-list guests decline.

That's tough. But I agree with you. It is your wedding and I wouldn't want ppl there I don't want there either lol. You don't really want to be surrounded by awkwardness or negativity on your wedding day, but if your parents refuse to see this then at least you're not paying for these family members and your parents are? Lol