Guest list etiquette - what to do

I have friends and coworkers that are being invited only to the after dinner celebrations, we are not expecting them to come to the ceremony at all. My thinking is it would be rude to have them at the ceremony but not dinner. they are all excited to be coming to the dance party only.

I posted on our wedding website a Q&A section about the invitations, ceremony, dinner and after the dinner party. Most of the after the dinner party are co-workers so gave them a heads up when I gave them the save the date card, so far people were understandable, and had no complaints. I explained it all out in our Q&A on our site, as to decision and reason why they may receive different invites.

Why not just invite them to the after party instead of the ceremony and party.

If you have ever been invitted to an Indian wedding, you would be invited to 3 functions and RSVPs to which events you would attend. However, not every invitation includes the reception to cut costs.

The wedding itself usually has lunch followed after for the guests while pictures are beibg taken. Some invititations are only for the main ceremony in that case.

This may relate to your case somehow. Seeing how to send out the invites.

I have personally been invited to several weddings where I was invited to the ceremony and the reception but not the dinner. Usually when people do this they restrict to the wedding party and immediate family and you on the invite it says ceremony at the place and time and reception at place and time and with the amount of space between ceremony and reception it is pretty obvious that you aren't invited to the meal. I have also gotten some that identify on the program that there is a supper but it is family only. I haven't ever thought it was rude or felt disrespected. Weddings are expensive and it isn't like I was the only person who wasn't invited to supper. Usually there was a group of us that went out for supper.

If you want to invite everyone but are limited then I would say only invite people to tie reception. Most people know that this means the party after dinner. That way you can still see tons of people and they don't feel slighted. I agree with Katherine that I would feel slighted to be invited to the ceremony and party but but dinner. Generally if you want the person at the ceremony, they are important enough to you to have at duvet and the party.

It's not the cost that's the issue, it's the venue max 100 included us and the bridal party. Maybe I'll just stick with the after the dinner dance/party, and forgo the invitation to the ceremony, I read some people do that to include others that would not normally be invite, i.e. co-workers

I would feel slighted to be invited to the ceremony and just the dance, and not dinner... Have you considered not having dinner at all by having the reception earlier or later... Punch and cake, brunch, and cocktail receptions are usually cheaper options.