Wedding guest size

What you can do, which I will be doing too, is send out all the invites really early to your family who you're obligated to invite, and once you have a better idea of who can actually make it, send out a second round of invites to all your friends. That's what I plan on doing Often times people give money instead of a traditional gift now anyway. Good luck!

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I'm from a small town and this is quite common where everyone is invited to the ceremony, there is a family dinner and then everyone is invited for the reception. This way you don't have to feed the entire congregation but everyone gets to party. Those not invited to the dinner often just give a small gift (or possibly no gift).

Some people may consider this strange but I think it's easier and may be less chance of offending someone than if you're asking people pay for their meals.

View quoted message Thanks for the suggestion I like that idea, I do have some friends that are as close as family which I think I would invite for the dinner

Why not just invite your family to the dinner and just indicate on your invitations (or something) that everyone is invited to a dance (or whatever) after dinner. I've seen that done and I don't think it's tacky at all.

I'm not sure how comfortable I would feel about doing this as a bride or receiving this as a guest but you know your family and friends best. If that is the only way they can make then go for it. You could also invite them to join you just after dinner for desserts and dancing to save some money.

If this is a way to include everyone at your wedding, go for it. I think a lot of people wouldn’t do it but your guest list sounds much larger than most of ours and it seems like you have your reasons.

Personally, asking people to pay to attend my wedding would not fly with my friends or family, even in lieu of gifts. If your are hosting, you should fully host everyone, not sell tickets. It's a little tacky(?), probably not the right word but it just doesn't sit right to basically charge them to be part of your day. Plus asking only some of them to pay is very A list, B list.

But, from your responses it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks, you seem determined to do this. You know your friends so hopefully they will understand and accept your decision.

Stock to your plan and don't twice about it.

View quoted message I have specific reasons for wanting them at my wedding tho and I do not want to be stressed about planning another get together after the wedding.

The thought of having friends at a later time is a wonderful idea at a restuarant. Seperate time ro celebrate with them.

My moms side of the family were the only ines invited to our wedding. There are more family overseas that could have been invited if it wasn't for friends being with us.

View quoted message 500 yes that's huge!!! My initial list was 400 before I scaled it down to 225! Yeah I hear you on the co workers struggle! Having the same problem. I invited 2 only to our wedding. And I personally talked to the others about inviting them to my shower. As much as I would love to have them all there it's just not financially feasible for us. One inparticular is of a similar culture and I didn't want her getting offended about coming to my shower and not the wedding. So I asked her personally before sending the invite! I always try to keep drama to a minimum!!!!! But I agree with your friend too. If you don't along with certain people don't invite them! It's your day and you should be supported by those who love you and want to be there for you!! Leave all the negative Nancy's off the list! I sincerely wish you all the best on your day as well!

View quoted message Well that must be a real struggle. I couldn’t imagine being told 225 being too small, but I can understand different cultures having different expectations for what weddings should look like. If I was inviting my whole dad’s side of the family our guest list would be well over 500.

I had a discussion with my friend about inviting my coworker. I thought I had to invite them all because it would be rude not to but I don’t get along with all of them and she reminded me it’s my wedding and I can invite who I want. I wish you well for your wedding.

View quoted message Sorry Maya I really didn't mean to make it come across the way you read it. I should of written my family would be offended because that's the experience I certainly was coming from and my struggles with it. I come from a large family as well and they were telling me my 225 person guest list is small! When my fiance and I are paying for it ourselves! In my culture of our weddings are 300+ so you can imagine what I hear about how small 225 person wedding is.

View quoted message I was fine with your opinion but I don’t see what the point of saying, “I know personally I’d be offended if I received that on an invitation.”

Also I’m not asking for all my family to pay just a few friends that I wouldn’t be able to invite since our family’s are so large.

View quoted message That's great! I was just coming from my experience and how my family is. I'm starting to think I should be inviting more of you then them to our wedding LOL maybe it would make my life easier. In our culture we don't invite people to our wedding and ask for money. But if others do and everyone is OK with it then awesome!!! I'm happy for them! Sorry I didn't mean to come across the wrong way at all. I probably should have written my family would be offended instead of I. Was just coming from personal experience. I struggled so much with my shower as well because we don't invite anyone that's not invited to the wedding. My family gets very offended if that happens! I had to invite 115 people to my shower!!!! Great news though only 48 are coming! Thank God! Hope you are well!

View quoted message That will be beautiful to have your wedding date on the same day! Sorry to hear why though and that you took offence to my comment. It wasn't meant to be offensive, wrong or right. It's just a difference of opinion. We don't all agree 100% of the time and I believe we should all be respected for those differences. If you know your guests and you think they wouldn't be offended by it then great! The dinner was just suggestion. We can't be expected to know everyone's situation and if they are made of money or not. I couldn't have known any of that based on the above discussion. To be clear I'm not made of money either, but I would like to be! Lol But like I said, if you know your guests and your situation then great , proceed the way you see it best. I'm happy for you, to come from a family that wouldn't be offended. I'm not that lucky! Have a great day!

View quoted message I don't see why anyone would get offended? Family and close friends will know and understand, I know I wouldn't be offended at all.

View quoted message My wedding date is special to me because it is the day my daughter would have been one. I miscarried last July and our wedding is a celebration of her. My wedding is also going to incorporate my First Nations culture and plus a lot of my friends like to dance and have fun connecting.

I personally would not feel offended if I received that on a wedding invitation. We aren’t made of money and to do another dinner on another night would be a lot of work and if they are going to pay for their own meal then what makes a difference if they pay for it at the wedding? Then they at least get to be a part of the celebration.

Sorry but I would never put that on an invite or message. Doesn't matter how you word it. I know personally I would be offended if I recieved that. Could you not arrange a dinner in a restaurant for your friends afterwards or do a private reception at a friend's place?

I think thats totally fair and most people wouldnt have any issue with that!

I think that would be a good idea. And the family members should be happy to pay because if they really want to be apart of your day that will not be an issue. And I bet majority will get you a gift anyway!