Kristen
Frequent user October 2021 Ontario

Walking Down the Aisle Alone

Kristen, on December 7, 2020 at 12:30 Posted in Wedding ceremony 1 60
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I am wondering if there are any brides out there that are planning to 'give themselves away'? I am planning to but am feeling a bit alone in this, it seems that there is a lot of expectation I should 'find someone' to do it. My father will not be at the wedding (for many reasons) but I don't feel right 'replacing him' with someone else besides my mother would who said she would prefer to watch me walk down the aisle which I think is understandable. Maybe I'm over thinking it but I'm a bit anxious about it, and if it will be a 'big deal' for people to see me walking down alone. I think I just need some encouragement on this !

If you are a former bride that has done this, your feedback is appreciated too! Smiley smile

Thank you!

xoxo

60 Comments

Latest activity by Carly, on October 26, 2021 at 08:51
  • Carly
    Newbie February 2024 Ontario
    Carly ·
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    My dad and I are best buds, but that's the only reason I'm not walking alone. I would honestly love to walk alone and give myself away, but because my dad and I actually do have a really good relationship, I want to include him in it. I'm ALL for it though girl, walk yourself down that aisle to your future! Smiley heart

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  • Alyx
    Curious September 2022 Alberta
    Alyx ·
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    My father isn’t in my life. I grew up with my grandpa but he died so I’m having my uncle walk me down the aisle. Honestly at this point I wish I was walking myself down because it feels meaningless to me. I want my grandpa not my a uncle. And I have to find some song to have a first dance with him. It’s all just meaningless and adding more stress.
    Walk yourself down the aisle! Own your truth instead of doing meaningless fill ins!
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  • Sarah
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Sarah ·
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    Tough decision to make for sure, that being said I've also decided to walk myself down the aisle. I lost my dad when I was a teenager and this moment is something I've dreamt about sharing with him, so replacing him didn't feel right. My Mom also really wants to walk me down the aisle, so as a compromise I am going to have her walk in front of me and meet me at the end of the aisle to give me away. I hope this helps!

    Whatever you decide, your special day will be amazing!! Smiley heart

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you Shelly ☺️ Sorry you to hear of your loss
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  • Shelly
    Curious July 2022 Ontario
    Shelly ·
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    Be true to yourself most of all. With both my parents being passed away and I never pictured my brother to walk me down the isle. I now see me walking down the isle alone. My amazing other half is comfortable with this, so this is how we are doing it. So stay true to what you want and have an amazing day celebrating your love with your one true love.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    This is exactly how I thought of it when I first decided to walk alone! I thought about how independent I am and how much I’ve done to get myself to this point in my life. It wasn’t until I started telling people when they asked and got a lot of “why don’t you ask so and so” that made me feel like maybe it was a strange thing to do or a bigger statement than I had intended. Thanks for the reminder ! Wishing you a perfect day too ☺️
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Ugh it’s hard when people’s opinions get pushed in and it makes it confusing ! Do what feels right though and good luck !
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  • Jordan
    Beginner September 2021 Ontario
    Jordan ·
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    I will be giving myself away as well. My father passed away when I was 14 and my mother and I have had a difficult relationship ever since. I also didn’t feel right replacing my dad so I’m making the decision to walk alone. I’m trying to think of it in the most empowering way. That I brought myself here, that I’ve accomplished so much on my own and have brought myself to such a beautiful future with the person I love. If you’re able to get in that mindset, it makes such a difference! I have pretty bad anxiety so walking alone for me is scary but I’m going to try my best to make it a powerful moment for me and how much I have fought to get to this point in my life. Wishing you a lovely wedding day!
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Most officiants will change anything you want about the ceremony as long as all of the legalities are there. There is actually very little that’s necessary during a ceremony to make a wedding legal. The only exception is I know some religious officials have to mention certain things for the wedding to both be legal and recognized by their faith.
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  • Bailey
    Curious October 2021 Alberta
    Bailey ·
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    I definitely plan too as my papa is passed , I have my father in law who has offered , and my aunt thinks my grandma should said I owe it to her .... but I’m genuinely considering walking down myself !
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  • Linda
    Frequent user July 2021 British Columbia
    Linda ·
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    Honestly, most officiants won't have a problem with removing it. Family dynamics have changed so dramatically since the 50's and many of us don't come from traditional homes anymore. Let me know how it goes Smiley laugh .

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Linda! We are having a traditional wedding and I made a note in the ceremony outline they sent me to ask for it to be taken out. I would hope that they don’t have an issue with it and I don’t think it will be a problem. I think that’s the part that bothers me most about getting someone to “give me away” it seems so old fashioned. I probably would’ve been ok with it if my dad would be there and if it meant a lot to him as a father but otherwise it feels weird having someone do it just to do it
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  • Linda
    Frequent user July 2021 British Columbia
    Linda ·
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    I'm in the middle of planning my current wedding but I have been married before. I was in a similar situation because my father and mother divorced long ago and I never got to know him. I also had a lot of pressure to have someone give me away. It can be very difficult in traditional weddings to walk alone. Your options are either to have a non-traditional ceremony where you can ask the officiant to completely eliminate that phrase from script. This is possible and many brides do that. Another option was what I did and have my best friend by my side and gave me away. You would be surprised how many officiants are understanding about these kinds of situations now. It never hurts to ask. After all, you are the bride and it is a very reasonable request.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Glad to hear you’re getting support ! Enjoy your moment the way you picture it ☺️
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Erin !! ☺️
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Baria ! I hope you’re brother is able to make it for you 🤞
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Good for you! I felt a bit weird about having someone else do it too. I’m glad it seems to be more common than I thought
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  • K
    Curious May 2020 Alberta
    Kendell ·
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    I'm walking myself down the isle. I had the same thought process of looking to see if someone else would. I thought of my brothers and my mom offered but my fiancé just said why. Just walk yourself. It is up in the air if my dad is even coming to my wedding and we don't have a good relationship. He was going to walk me because that's what happens but our wedding got postponed a year and through out the year alot happened and now I really don't feel comfortable with him doing it so I'm just walking myself. Once I made the desicion I felt so much better and way less stress about it.
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  • Baria
    Curious July 2022 Quebec
    Baria ·
    • Dispute
    I'll probably be doing the same thing. My.brother is to walk down the aisle with me, but he might not be present (for reasons out if his control) I'll ask my .I'm, probably, same.as yours, will prefer watch me walk down the aisle. I won't replace my brother, so I'll do it alone. All presents love us, and won't judge. Those who will judge (had to invite unwanted), will find anything to do it.
    Walk alone! The aisle us yoirs, your moment.
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  • Carol
    Beginner April 2021 Manitoba
    Carol ·
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    I second that. We are all getting married of our own free will. 😊
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  • Carol
    Beginner April 2021 Manitoba
    Carol ·
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    Thanks for sharing Gwen. My dad passed away too, and I know I was feeling some pressure to have it be my mum to walk me down the isle, but with such a strained relationship, I told her I would be walking down the aisle alone. It didn’t feel right to have her walk me down the isle. It felt abit fake. And I have been wondering if anyone out there made the same choice I made.
    So thank you
    Carol
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  • Carol
    Beginner April 2021 Manitoba
    Carol ·
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    I’m with you. I am walking down the aisle alone. I explained to my sisters why it’s so important to me, some initial resistance but eventually they are now supporting me.
    Carol
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  • Erin
    Newbie November 2021 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I’m doing the same thing! You aren’t alone 🙂
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  • Sharon
    Curious August 2021 Alberta
    Sharon ·
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    I'm with you! Such a silly tradition when you think back to why it started in the first place. I get the meaning has changed, but I still find it odd that it always has to be the dad.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Amen!! Thanks for the encouragement Sharon Smiley shame

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  • Sharon
    Curious August 2021 Alberta
    Sharon ·
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    I wouldn't be too concerned with what everyone else thinks. This is your big moment and you should do what you want! I haven't decided yet, but I might be walking down the isle alone. Its not traditional or what's expected, but I'm ok with that. Why do I need someone to "give me away"? I will walk down the isle with my sister if I want to and I feel no need to have to justify that to anyone.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Jessica! It's nice to know that even though your father will be present you're choosing to do it your own way Smiley smile

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  • Jessica
    Newbie August 2021 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    I dont think there is anything wrong with that, my father thinks its a silly tradition and wont be giving me away (im having a pretty non traditional wedding) and my grandfather didnt give my mother away. I personally see nothing wrong with it. Besides its your day i say do whatever makes you comfortable!
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    I'm so sorry for your losses Gwen, and thank you for your response! I feel the same way as in it would be nice to have someone with me for support in that moment but no one else feels quite right to 'give me away'. I think going alone feels the most 'right' to me right now.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Sabrina Smiley smile I appreciate the encouragement!!

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  • Gwen
    Newbie June 2022 Alberta
    Gwen ·
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    Both my dad and my step dad passed away so I have no one to walk me down. Having my mom do it doesn't seem right to me, we have a strained relationship and it just would feel fake I guess even though we get along now. So, I guess I'm walking myself down lol. I like the thought of having someone there to calm my nerves while I walk down but I can't think of anyone to do it other than my grandma who can't attend as she can't travel. I think it's more common than you think! Do what feels right to you.
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  • Sabrina
    Curious July 2022 Ontario
    Sabrina ·
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    It's entirely up to you! It's your and your FH's day. You need to do what makes you feel comfortable and confident. If walking on your own makes you feel like you would feel those things, go for it! 😊
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