Kristen
Frequent user October 2021 Ontario

Walking Down the Aisle Alone

Kristen, on December 7, 2020 at 12:30

Posted in Wedding ceremony 60

I am wondering if there are any brides out there that are planning to 'give themselves away'? I am planning to but am feeling a bit alone in this, it seems that there is a lot of expectation I should 'find someone' to do it. My father will not be at the wedding (for many reasons) but I don't feel...

I am wondering if there are any brides out there that are planning to 'give themselves away'? I am planning to but am feeling a bit alone in this, it seems that there is a lot of expectation I should 'find someone' to do it. My father will not be at the wedding (for many reasons) but I don't feel right 'replacing him' with someone else besides my mother would who said she would prefer to watch me walk down the aisle which I think is understandable. Maybe I'm over thinking it but I'm a bit anxious about it, and if it will be a 'big deal' for people to see me walking down alone. I think I just need some encouragement on this !

If you are a former bride that has done this, your feedback is appreciated too! Smiley smile

Thank you!

xoxo

60 Comments

  • Maya
    Newbie November 2021 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    I'm planning to walk myself! I had a bit of a strained relationship with my dad growing up, and even though it's better now, I'm a fierce feminist and the whole principle of someone "giving me away" just makes my eyes roll. I'm my own woman and I don't need someone to serve me up to my fiance lol.

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  • Ashlea
    Curious June 2021 Alberta
    Ashlea ·
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    I will be walking down alone as my dad passed away, and no one can replace him. Just doesn’t feel right thinking of having someone else walk with me. I will have a pendant with some of his ashes attached to my bouquet so he will be with me.
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your mom walking down the aisle to give you away is nice if she feels comfortable. I know that many of the family weddings I have attended, the brides have walked down with family. We wanted something special to have my mother and his aunt to remember by walking down the aisle as my cousin had her brother walk her down the aisle. Its that feeling of closeness you have to your parent in your life to remember in the long run.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    View quoted message

    Thanks Leanne! I appreciate you letting me know your experience and I'm glad to hear it was a good one Smiley smile I'm starting to feel more confident in my decision for sure!

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Deborah! I'm so glad to hear you had a good experience and I appreciate the encouragement Smiley smile

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  • L
    Curious June 2020 Ontario
    Leanne ·
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    I think walking alone is a great idea. Our venue didn't have a center aisle so we orignally planned to come in from opposite sides at the same time (no one accompanied). We already planned to have a small ceremony, but once Covid hit it got even smaller and we had to video conference my husband's parents. They wouldn't have been able to see us walking anyway so we just decided to begin standing at the "altar." No one questioned it or complained.

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  • Deborah
    Beginner July 2022 Ontario
    Deborah ·
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    I walked down the aisle alone! To be honest, we planned our wedding in two weeks and really winged the whole thing lol.... We had a backyard wedding with immediate family only, so I felt so much more comfortable walking down by myself. I don't have any regrets at all! Do whatever you want to do Smiley smile

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  • Kimberly
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Kimberly ·
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    Glad we could have this discussion! It’s nice to know that there are other people in your shoes too. I’ve also thought of just asking whoever I think will be best dressed and look the best beside me for the photos 😂 and that means on mine or the grooms side.
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Haha good for you! It's hard to know how it will feel in the moment. I am getting some great ideas here though so hopefully I'll land on something that works for us.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    That's how I feel! I feel like I'd like to walk by myself but I'm afraid I will regret it when I'm by myself lol. Maybe have your sister or someone as a 'back up' in case you decide last minute you want someone? That might be a good idea for myself now that I think about it.

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Its a tough decision! Can I ask what made you want to walk by yourself? Smiley smile

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Haha this is the type of response that I get most often that made me post this in the first place Smiley tongue People asking "how about so and so" as if I need to find someone. I get people mean no ill will it just makes me feel like its weird to walk alone.

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  • Marg
    Curious August 2021 Ontario
    Marg ·
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    One of my best friends walked in with her now husband. It was really beautiful. They had already done a first look (captured by the photographer of course), and he waited at the start of the aisle for her while we bridesmaids went by first, then they walked down together. Meeting in the middle as mentioned before seems like a nice way to have a similar experience.

    If you don't want to do that, maybe your mother would walk down with you if you did a mom-first look? That way, she gets the effect of seeing you all ready to go without focusing on also having eyes on her.

    I am walking myself down the aisle too btw! My parents probably can't attend in person due to covid. I kind of like the idea of the attention without having to worry about anyone else tbh haha

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Kimberly ·
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    I’m debating who is going to walk me down the aisle .. and have been thinking of just walking by myself. The only thing holding me back is that I will have a longer walk to the aisle (outside wedding) and maybe it would be nice to have some support ? My sister eloped and I walked her down the aisle and she had a last minute panic and I was there for her .. so it would be nice to have someone there for me.
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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I'm still not sure. I totally wanted to walk down the aisle myself but then my mom asked me if I was going to ask my step dad (who indore greatly). However, I did say that I'd only ask him if my mom walks down the aisle with us
    • Reply
  • Mais
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Mais ·
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    What about siblings or cousins? Or a relative. I wouldn’t wanna walk alone but that’s entirely up to you
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    No, it wasn't but the nervous look wasn't because she thought he disappeared lol. Prior to the wedding, there was a whole thing where she's felt that she as a normal person would be holding him back from being "Superman."

    But yes, if you're not a fan of surprises or don't do well in unexpected situations, I also recommend planning the ceremony "rundown."

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you! I guess people’s responses just made me feel like it was a bigger deal than it is. It’s so nice to hear of some of the alternatives people have done too
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    This is super sweet, I’ve never seen it ! Helps me imagine how it would feel. Thanks for sharing Hank!
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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks Krista !! That’s exactly what I needed - to feel like I’m not alone and it’s not a big deal. People have great ideas tho too!
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    I never watched Smallville, but I get the feeling this wasn't planned? Smiley xd

    Make sure the other person knows if you're meeting at the entrance so they don't think they got left at the alter hahaha!

    But in all seriousness, if the venue works and you can do a meeting at the back of the ceremony space and then walk down the aisle together that could work very nicely.

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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Ah yes neither of us particularly cared whether our first look was before or at the ceremony so this worked for us, but I totally understand that won't work for you!

    I wouldn't worry too much about getting those questions. People expect that you will be walked down the aisle by someone else because that's traditionally the way it's done, but I don't think people actually have strong opinions about it. I'd bet it's more of a curiosity thing.

    When I told people that I was walking down the aisle with my husband nobody had a problem with it. If anything people were pleasantly surprised and thought it was a nice idea.

    I'm sure whatever you end up choosing will go great!

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    This all reminds me of this:

    If the only thing holding you back on having your partner walk down with you is the first look at the ceremony, I think it can still be achieved. It'll just be at the entrance instead of the altar with the officiant. And you'll get an extra minute or two to bask in how you look with each other in additional to the moments with your vows.
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  • Krista
    Beginner June 2021 Alberta
    Krista ·
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    Hi Kristen!
    I am in the same boat.. I’ll be walking down the aisle solo. I do love the idea of the groom meeting half way though!

    It’s your day.. do it the way YOU want to. Everyone there is there for you and you s/o.. so don’t even think about what others are thinking if you walk alone. They shouldn’t be there anyways if they are going to be judging or making drama over the fact you walked alone.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    View quoted message

    Hi Amelia! You're the second person that walked down with their husband to be! Super sweet idea that I never really thought of, but we are planning on having our first look at the ceremony with me coming down the aisle, we both do have our hearts set on that. But meeting in the middle is a neat idea too, thanks! Smiley smile

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  • Kristen
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Kristen ·
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    View quoted message

    Thanks Christiana!

    I think I'm ok with going alone. I'm a bit nervous about everyone staring at me alone but I was more worried people might find it strange because I have had a lot of 'who is going to give you away?' questions which made me think it might be a bigger deal than I thought for me to do that.

    I think walking in with your husband is super sweet! But our 'first look' will be at the ceremony so I don't think that will be what we do. Thanks so much for your input Smiley smile

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    We didn't have an aisle, but even if we had we would have walked down together. We never planned for our first views to be at the ceremony, not even for our guests.


    Unless you or your fiance have your hearts set on the first look at the alter you could have your first look before the ceremony and enter together, as a united team about to take on the world together. Or you could meet in the middle of the aisle.
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute
    I walked down the aisle with my husband. We actually had a very small ceremony due to Covid so nobody from my side was even there, but this was always the plan.


    I didn’t like the idea of someone, particularly my dad, “giving me away” because I think it’s an outdated and sexist tradition. If anything I’d have preferred both parents, but even that felt weird as a 31 year old woman. I originally thought of walking by myself, but I didn’t want the attention all on me so I figured why not walk down with my partner. We’re both grown adults and we’re equally giving ourselves to the other so that made sense. Nobody had a problem with it as far as I know, but maybe people thought it was something we did because of Covid?


    My sister in law also walked herself down the aisle at her wedding. She has a complicated relationship with her dad and step dad and I think did it to avoid any drama. I didn’t really think twice about it and everything seemed totally normal at her wedding.


    However it does sound like you want someone there with you. If that’s really important to you try talking to your mom again. If she knows that it’s really important to you she might change her mind.

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