Thoughts on Go Fund Me page

I agree with everyone else... i think that throwing a wedding is definitely difficult, and expensive.... but it is the couples responsibility to be able to pay for it if they want to celebrate. That doesn't mean you cant get married.. think of alternatives! City hall & a dinner at a restaurant that anyone can attend.. City hall and a potluck dinner in a backyard.. Small ceremony and make dinner for everyone.. get married now and then when times are better, you can have another wedding.

Yes.

My cousin did this and literally made the entire family feel weird and awkward. Granted, he wasn't facing all of the challenges you were, but it was in bad taste and left people asking the question no one wanted to: if you can't afford to get married why are you planning it?

Now, that sounds really harsh and it was more for that situation than yours, but if you can't afford the wedding you really want maybe try cutting costs and having something small and beautiful at a park or unconventional location. Drop the overpriced venues. Go to aliexpress for all of your decor. No judgement; I'm buying half of my stuff from there! If you don't want to lessen the guests or venue then you should postpone. You two love each other and you want to be together forever and that's ALL that matters. I would have married my fiance years ago but we weren't in the space to pay for it. We've been together for seven years. I could wait another seven to be honest, i really enjoy just being engaged. Fiance has a pretty ring to it.

Go fund me accounts are for people who can't afford their cancer treatments, or animals with three legs. It's raising money for unavoidable circumstances and people donate when their heart strings have been pulled.

EDIT: I responded before reading below on some details. Disregard the space suggestion if you've already booked, but I agree with the other suggestions.

View quoted message I agree with this!

Another option is to postpone the wedding until you have enough funds saved. I don’t see the venue and your vendors opposing to this considering they won’t have to refund you your deposit.

I'm in agreement with everyone here. A go fund me page a) won't get you the funds you are hoping to get and b) won't be well-received. If you have family that you would would love to contribute, maybe give them an opportunity to do so at a distance? Host a stag and doe and let people skype into it. We recently had a wedding shower and collected a cool thousand, even though we requested no gifts. Also, if you have the time for it, and planning done, you can do a lot at a great discount. I've bought tons of supplies at michaels, all at 50% off, because i wait for sales or go buy one item each week. Also, remember that pinterest is a bad example of a wedding. So many things you see on there are either unnecessary or just fake. There are so many "staged shoots" that aren't even from real weddings.

I planned my whole beautiful wedding for only $3,000 (my parents are paying for food and we don't have a DJ) but its possible

I agree with everyone about the go fund me. It should not be used to pay for a wedding.

Stag and does are a great way to raise money and it's a really fun party. If you get your tickets out your friends will invite their friends and you can end up with a lot of attendees. I have been to stag and does for people I didn't even really know that well. They can be open to everyone and you can end up making a lot of money that will help hugely with your wedding costs.

I'm not judging, because it sounds like you are in a tight spot and just want to have a nice wedding. However, my answer to your question is that, yes, it is inappropriate to launch a go fund me for your wedding.

You said in a previous reply that you have a $10k budget and have already put down deposits. Do what you need to do to stay within that budget. If that means cutting back the guest list, do it. Perhaps you could cut back on some non-essentials like a DJ (if your venue has a sound system you can tap into, just build your own playlist on a laptop or phone), an expensive cake, wedding favours, printed programs, flowers, etc.

Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your family, maybe you can ask them to gift you a bit of cash beforehand in lieu of a wedding gift? You can also not sign up for a gift registry and put "no boxed gifts" on your wedding website to hint that you'd prefer cash gifts. Don't rely on cash gifts to pay off wedding debt tho!

With all that is going on, have you considered simply postponing? I agree with others about going down to city hall, but if you have already placed deposits with vendors, I would see if you can move the date. From what I remember, many vendors will allow you to move the date within 6-12 months (depending). I agree that it would not be appropriate to start a go fund me. Hope it works out!

View quoted message Yeah no for sure I totally understand! I think a stag and doe is great or something similar! It's just the go fund me I would avoid for raising money for weddings. Theres also a site called ko-fi ! It's a good way to have friends and family donate money to you! A much more personal site for raising money!

I read what everybody else is saying... I agree with not making a go fund me page that is for the wedding because realistically if I couldn't afford my wedding I would just go down to city hall and getter done. With that being said - I think if you were to make a go fund me page based on paying bills because of the family situation you have currently then you would be fine to do so. Hope everything works out!

View quoted message Hey Emma, ya, he’s Hindu so their weddings are 2 days plus my catholic wedding. I already cut it down by a lot. And my photographer is actually charging me what he would charge for just 8 hours but I’m getting him for 22 hours. But ya I completely get it. Keep cutting down

View quoted message If it’s starting to get more expensive then you can afford but you have put down deposits the easiest way to cut your costs is to cut your guest list. Scale back the number of people invited. Also get red of any extra things. Like a videographer, lots of flowers, favours etc. Even if you have paid deposits on some of these things you can cancel to save spending extra money.

Becuase you have already had a stag and do to me I really wouldn’t do a go fund me. You have already had others contribute to your wedding financially.

View quoted message Thanks so much Leah. My cousin got her wedding idea from Pinterest but I’ll check out bridechilla. I have heard of a practically wedding

View quoted message Oh definitely. Thank you and congratulations !!

View quoted message Thank you again I’m only asking to hear people’s opinions. Like said, I’m not trying to have this grand wedding. It’s just for some bills but if people find it inappropriate it helps with my decision as well

View quoted message Hey stephanie !

We had. A stag and doe and we’re able to raise $1600 which was part of some of our deposit. And I already had a few thousand saved on our own... then the whole situation happened after. Thays why I stated I wasn’t looking to raise a lot. But I get what you’re saying.

I’m in agreement of most of the others.
I’m not a fan of go fund me in general, and understand that it’s for emergencies not electives.

Eloping or pop up weddings can be a beautiful thing, and if I could start the planning process again, that’s the option I would choose.

My cousin had a lovely small church wedding with a reception in their home...It was more like a dinner party and a true celebration of their love and commitment to each other.

You know how when you’re shopping and get a discount you feel so great about getting more for your money? That’s how I feel about wedding planning. I want to be able to get the most for what I can afford. Pinterest is really good for that, so are Bridechilla, and A Practically Wedding. I’m confident that you can find an affordable way to celebrate your marriage without relying on the go fund me page. You might even have fun doing so!

Good luck with your decision.

Agreed with the other posters! If your getting married for love, then just go get the license. Depending where you live it's $120. No go fund me needed. My fiancé and I have been together 10 years this past July, engaged 9 of those 10. Didn't get my ring until maybe 3-4 years (can't remember now) ago. And am now getting married in 12 days. All this time has passed because we didn't have the money but now we do. So you should not be asking people to pay for your wedding if you don't have it right now. You really don't want to start a marriage with debt, and it sounds alot like now is not a good time for both your families to deal with the stress of planning a big wedding.

I personally would avoid a go fund me.. that site is meant more for people who are in emergency situations (got kicked out and need help with rent, pets got sick, car problems and cant get to work, family is sick and cant pay for bills) its very much for a dire need situation where people are desperate for money to go towards something they need to survive or to help save someone. As someone mentioned here a wedding isnt a necessity, it's a luxury, and asking for donations on a go fund me for a wedding I personally believe is in really poor taste (I personally donate a lot on go fund me to help people with sick animals)
As someone else mentioned, a Stag and Doe is a good way to raise money for the wedding that is very normal for couples to do! And everyone understands what they are for and might give extra knowing your situation! Also as another mentioned, theres no rush for marriage! Push it back another year and save up more for the wedding you really want vs. One you will just settle for!

There are ways of having cheaper weddings. But, I also understand wanting the typical ceremony and reception.

I think you might have a better chance at asking for funds for the bills on go fund me than your wedding. If others contribute to your and your fiancé’s parents bills, that would leave you to designate some of your bill money to wedding fund money.

I would also suggest looking into having a stag and doe. Completely normal for most parts of Ontario, and it’s basically a wedding fundraiser with games and prizes and dances...different things to help raise money. I have been a part of planning some when I was living in Ontario and couple usually made a couple thousand.

View quoted message Hi holly,

thats actually the ironic part, due to my fiancées religion, our wedding was originally set for May 2019 but is currently being pushed after July 2019.

I do know family would love to come but might not make it and send cash gifts, thus I thought this ‘might’ be a good idea.

It’s more on my mom leaving and all just hit us at a horrible time.

Thanks for the opinion

View quoted message Hi Emma

thank you for that ! And I completely understand, our budget is at 10k and that’s including everything.

It was more for kinda of finishing the rest IF I ... ran out of finances. All my deposits are done, it’s just trying to reorganize certain finances.

I am doing a very small wedding as is, even found a venue for $40 a head.. with quite the decent menu. It was more for a go fund me of $****$ I know that’s a big range, but just to help out.

That’s why why I wanted this discussion to hear people’s thoughts. It’s nice to hear from strangers because they’ll tell you the truth. If I just did a go fund me, family would help, but I wouldn’t know what they had in their thoughts.

Thanks again

I think if you decide to do it then you should probably just leave it for family. The reason being because your wedding isn't important to anyone you don't know and for those people you don't know they might just think you're begging for money so probably wouldn't donate. I personally wouldn't donate to a stranger's wedding just because I see it as there are other options you can consider such as smaller wedding, courthouse wedding, eloping, or even putting it off till you can afford it. With that being said I'm not saying some people may not donate because honestly who knows! But I definitely think it's more appropriate for it to be directed to family only because they are the ones what will want to attend the wedding and be apart of your special day.
Have you considered putting the wedding off for a bit longer so you can save up more?

Ok I’m not judging you in any way but you asked for opinions. Yes I think it’s in appropriate. Why? Because having a wedding is not a right or a need. Just like having a new cell phone or driving a nice car.

It costs very little to get married. All it costs is the cost of the license and the cost of the officiant. That’s it.

Everything else is extra. To me by starting a go fund me page it gives the impression that the wedding is more important then getting married.

Honeslty I think you should take what you have and plan a wedding with that. Keep it to immediate family if that’s what you need to do. If having a more expensive wedding is a must the wait longer to get married or both of you can get second jobs and save every cent for the wedding.

Again i’m not judging but you asked for opinions.