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Lynnie
WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina

So when are you having kids??? 馃懚

Lynnie, on November 15, 2017 at 12:05 Posted in Just married 0 37
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Is anyone else getting bombarded with the kids questions now that you're married?

How are you handling these questions? Do you have any go-to funny or effective replies?

I've started telling my mom that every time she asks we get one year further away Smiley tongue


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37 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on November 3, 2018 at 20:19
  • Stephanie
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie
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    Haha!! Oh my gosh, I love this response!

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  • Leanne
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Leanne
    • Dispute

    My typical response "Not sure when we are going to start trying, but we are making to sure to practice a lot in the meantime"...they usually leave it alone after that.

    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison
    • Dispute

    I've gotten this question so many times since getting engaged! I'm pretty young (engaged at 22, now 23, married at 24) but still people ask it.

    It kind of irks me since I know someone who struggles with infertility and conceived with IVF. She was born to me a mother and knew of her infertility at a young age. I usually tell people we haven't discussed it much (we haven't but we know we both want kids) and that it'll happen when it does. We've both used the "focusing on careers" line too since FH is (hopefully!) transitioning between jobs and I want to be at my firm a few years before going on Mat Leave.

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  • Melissa
    Beginner September 2018 Ontario
    Melissa
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    But it totally IS the same! I've been getting that question non-stop and I'm like... "its literally the same... the only difference is we have new rings, we have access to each others money, and if either one of us wants to leave its that much harder now."

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  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya
    • Dispute

    Im not even married yet and I already have people asking me.

    I know women that actually cannot have kids and someday someone is going to ask the wrong women that question and its going to break her heart. I just tell people its not anytime soon and we will let them know when it happens. then leave it at that

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  • Megan
    Newbie May 2018 Alberta
    Megan
    • Dispute

    Seeing how babies were mentioned by my parents, my father-in-law, and in our own speech it will be happening soon. While my mother-in-law didn't mention them, I know she's really looking forward to grandkids too. While we were fine if we became pregnant during our engagement, now it's a top priority with our honeymoon. We're not getting any younger especially since we want several rugrats.

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  • Ashleigh
    Devoted August 2018 Ontario
    Ashleigh
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    LOOK 馃槏
    Pugs are so loving and hilarious. 10/10 would recommend.

    So when are you having kids??? 馃懚 1
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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly
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    Oh. My. Gosh. I died when I read you have a PUG.

    My fiance and I have also decided that having kids is not a path for us. Much to the disappointment of our parents (my brother is becoming a priest, and his brother is a hermit? recluse? not in a bad way hes just VERY much an introvert and chooses that life). So we're the only hope for grand kids. That adds a lot of pressure for us. But we know ourselves, and the life we want, and for us, its the right decision. Only grand dogs from us. Sorry!

    Never thought I'd be the person who'd want a stupid little froo froo dog, but we've been obsessing over pugs and pekineses lately.

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  • Lydia
    Devoted June 2019 British Columbia
    Lydia
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    We don't want them. But that answer seems to offend people most of the time for some reason or they just start pushing it / ask again in a few months time or further down the road.

    Recently started saying that we'll have a bunch of cats instead. That usually does end the questioning / opinions or whatever not and mostly leads to smiles / laughter instead of weird unasked for discussions (also it's probably true anyways :'))
    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca
    • Dispute
    Luckily I鈥檓 a student (who won鈥檛 be done school by the time of our wedding) so I can divert the question by saying 鈥渙nce I鈥檓 done school鈥 (which is somewhat true).
    • Reply
  • Jocelyn
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Jocelyn
    • Dispute
    I get this constantly- i've always said no, as my job involves wee ones and my FH is away for work.
    attached photo is often what i want to tell people when they say either i'll regret not having kids or that "its different when u have your own"


    So when are you having kids??? 馃懚 2
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  • R
    Beginner June 2018 Nova Scotia
    Raylene
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    We鈥檝e actually been trying for a few years and have been having trouble and have had a couple miscarriages, we鈥檝e been very open about our journey, but when people ask I鈥檓 blunt and straight forward and say we鈥檝e been trying for a few years! It makes some people uncomfortable, which I鈥檓 totally ok with bc as far as I鈥檓 concerned it鈥檚 none of their business!
    • Reply
  • Bethany
    Super July 2018 Alberta
    Bethany
    • Dispute
    I haven't got this question too much but the plan is to start having kids right after the wedding! We will see though how things work out Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Super May 2018 Ontario
    Chloe
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    View quoted message
    I love that you plan to reevaluate every few years. It's so important to always reflect on how you've changed as individuals and as a couple. I tend to give answers about the future so confidently, but it's so much better to be open to change. And I have a pug too! She's basically like a toddler on her own!
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin
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    We get this a lot. For the most part I say "don't know when yet" or "someday but not right now". It is annoying to be asked the same things all the time: "How's married life? When's your honeymoon and where? When are you having babies?"

    The only time I have really found the baby question offensive is when a coworker asked me "when can we expect to be having out next baby shower?" I was shocked! I just looked at her and said "I don't know. Are you pregnant?" (knowing that she is a mother of 3 already). Her response was "I've had 3, I've done my part. You just got married though so....." I just kind of walked away after that.

    Lucky for my husband and I, his sisters have 5 kids between them so his parents are busy and leave us alone lol. My mum says take your time.

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  • Kacy
    VIP February 2019 Quebec
    Kacy
    • Dispute
    FH and I have been together for 12 years (next month) so as you can imagine, it has been many many years that we've been asked when we're getting married/having kids, etc. I find it hard to answer because I have personally been wanting to have kids for several years now. Now that we're engaged, people have shifted their question to when we're getting married so that's been nice in a way, though frustrating in another since planning hasn't progressed at all Smiley xd lol
    • Reply
  • Ashleigh
    Devoted August 2018 Ontario
    Ashleigh
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    I loved reading over your responses! My FH and I don't plan on having kids. We are going to reevaluate every few years though. It's an odd response to give someone, but its our truth and we own it Smiley smile They usually never ask again, haha. We just don't know if having kids is for us. We have a puppy and quite frankly, I've yet to see a child that is cuter than our pug. Smiley tongue
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  • Sasha
    Super October 2017 Ontario
    Sasha
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    Hahaha yeah I don't know what people expect to happen once you get married lol the only difference is we officially can call them husband's and they get to wear a ring 馃槣
    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
    Lynnie
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    I get "So how's married life?" all the time! I used to laugh and say "it's the same" (because we've been together almost 10 years) - but then people started looking at me like my marriage was doomed Smiley surprise

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  • Sasha
    Super October 2017 Ontario
    Sasha
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    Oh man that is frustrating! I would totally buy that shirt lol.The amount of times people ask "So how's married life?" Is insane
    • Reply
  • Ap2017
    Super September 2017 Ontario
    Ap2017
    • Dispute

    I hate this question for a variety of reasons so generally I tell people they'll know when or if it happens.

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  • Kayla
    Devoted September 2017 Alberta
    Kayla
    • Dispute

    I have a daughter and my husband has 2 daughters.

    We are STILL bombarded with this question on a weekly basis. I'm going to start wearing a shirt that says "No, married life isn't any different. No we are not having anymore kids. No we have not gone on a honeymoon yet."



    • Reply
  • Kaytee
    Devoted September 2017 Alberta
    Kaytee
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    That is so cute! We have two puppies and they are enough work lol. Kids can wait.


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  • Kaytee
    Devoted September 2017 Alberta
    Kaytee
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    LOL that is totally our problem now. We get asked all the time and by we, I mean me. My husband gets a break as I think people are nervous to ask the husband.

    Haha, telling your Mom that it gets a year away every time she asks is hilarious. We are just saying that it will happen when it happens and that we are in no rush. I think it is so rude for people to ask because some people try and try and it never happens so I can't imagine how it would make them feel.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Newbie June 2018 British Columbia
    Danielle
    • Dispute
    We did this backwards lol our baby girl will be 9 months at our wedding this summer but since having her we get asked a lot, or strangers just assume we're having a second. I just nod politely and move on with my life if it's strangers. If it's family I explain that 1 is financially feasible right now lol maybe a second when she's in school so we don't have 2 in daycare.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Amanda
    • Dispute
    People started asking us before we even got engaged... To be honest, we had been together already for quite some time, but I was only 23 when we did get engaged. I just kept telling everyone that we have plenty of time and we aren't in a rush. Now that we are less than a year from our wedding, it seriously comes up in almost every conversation... so FH and I just tell everyone "15 years". They generally drop it pretty quick. Haha. Our immediate family knows our plans, but honestly, having a baby isn't exactly something you can truly "plan". So we will see where life takes us.
    • Reply
  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda
    • Dispute

    It doesn't really offend me. We have been very open about our decision to not have children, so we have not been asked very much at all. It's actually a discussion that I don't mind having, though. People sometimes assume that when you decide to not have children it means that you don't like children and that is not always true. I love interacting with kids, they say hilarious things and can be super fun to hang out with, but having kids of our own is not the right path in life for us, for a lot of different reasons. It is a decision that we made, but it does not mean that it was an easy decision. That's the best way I can explain it. We are lucky to have not gotten pressure from our parents or other family/friends.

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  • Chloe
    Super May 2018 Ontario
    Chloe
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    View quoted message
    That's a good compromise. And you also never know where you'll be in a year or two. Who knows, maybe in a year your husband will say he changed his mind and wants kids now...maybe in two years you'll want to wait another year.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert July 2018 Alberta
    Marina
    • Dispute
    We have successfully managed to dodge this question every single time by answers like 鈥渨e want to be established first鈥 or 鈥 now it is the time that we are focusing on our careeers鈥 or 鈥渨e are too young, 30 is the new 20鈥 or things like this!
    • Reply
  • Shaina
    Frequent user April 2019 Ontario
    Shaina
    • Dispute
    We already have a 5 year old, but as soon as we told FHs family his aunt said,"So you're gonna have more?" So I kinda acted like I was done, LOL. I'd like at least 2 more, but that's between me and DF Smiley smile


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  • Louise
    Devoted September 2017 Quebec
    Louise
    • Dispute
    That is literally the question of the week. Everyone has been asking me recently. I guess it鈥檚 the 鈥榥ext step鈥 but it does get annoying.
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie
    • Dispute

    We are already getting that question! Our plan is to wait 2 years. My fiance wanted to wait 3, I wanted to wait 1, so we compromised with 2. I hear that happens a lot in marriages! We both want 2 children so at least we agree on that.

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