Rsvps - Shower and Wedding

I would wait a little longer, closer to the R.S.V.P. deadline and either reach out to them or have your aunt do so.

It is super exciting to send out the invites, and kind of a bummer when people wait so long to RSVP, I forgot to put a RSVP date on my invites, so I put one on the website. So far we are just waiting for 45 people to RSVP and my new due date is Sept 1. As for my shower, I didn't do invites, just a facebook page and personal calls/texts. My shower was a last minute idea, and my bridemaids are quite busy so I've done most of the planning

To relieve some of the anxiety of waiting for the RSVP's, I called or messaged each person it was sent to to confirm that they received their invites and didn't get lost in the mail. I'm very glad I did this as some had moved since they'd given me their address or had not received them at all! This also reminds them that the RSVP date may be approaching without being too pushy before the due date. Once the due date hits, I was definitely more aggressive.

I would wait until after your RSVP deadline before following up with any of your guest!

You have over a month until your RSVP deadline. So no you shouldn’t bug people about it. They still have plenty of time. Honestly I don’t think you should bother anyone until after that date.

Your aunt should follow up with the invites to the shower. Did she give an RSVP by date? If so again she should wait until then.

If someone started bugging before that date I would just be wondering why they even bothered giving a deadline. And yes it’s normal for people to wait until close to the d some. If you wanted a response sooner you should have given an earlier date. People can’t read your mind.

I sent my invites out 4 months early so I would have lots of time to chase people lol. I sent mine a week ago, and I know most of the local people got it, but only one of my friends RSVP'd. Maybe set a date for yourself, a week before your August 31st date. Then sit with your FH and call/email everyone one by one until you have all your responses

I think a lot of guests just assume that you know they're coming, because your close friends or family, but they need to remember that you are planning the biggest event you're probably ever going to have to plan, and can't keep tabs on everyone's lives! Goodluck!

We’re still waiting for around 100 rsvps for our wedding and the rsvp date is August 1st. It’s definitely frustrating! We sent out a reminder on Facebook last week and shared our wedding website. It helped since we were still waiting for 190 but still so many left! We will most likely send out another reminder this week and start reaching out individually.

An email should be followed towards the end and making sure everyone is aware and the same with your aunt for the shower.

Always be on top of your game to ensure the guest count is tracked.

I would follow up on the invites for the shower. As for the wedding most of the ones I've seen give 3 months to rsvp so this is what we are doing for ours. We will send them out late October and have asked people to respond by January 15. This way I can track down the people who don't respond by the deadline and still have plenty of time before my wedding in May to get their response

I think your aunt should follow-up with those invited to your shower; since she is hosting it, she should follow up.

As for wedding RSVPs, I found most people waited until the end. I did send out reminder emails after the deadline passed, which most people only needed one email to then reply!

We started receiving RSVPs the day after we sent the invites, but most people waited until the last month or even the last week before the deadline. And in the end we only had to contact a handful of people who hadn't answered.

Wait until the deadline before asking for answers. If you still have very few RSVPs, you could send a nice reminder that the deadline is August 31 a couple weeks, without requesting an immediate answer.

As for the shower, let your aunt deal with it. She can ask for answers or send reminders herself.

It’s frustrating but you have to take a breath and just wait. You set a deadline and have to give people till then to reply. My deadline is mid August and we are still waiting on over 150 replies. I found it helps to put it in another context: what if you had a deadline for work and your boss starts pestering you for you to get it in a month before as if your late with it? You’d probably say “don’t worry and I’ll have it done by the deadline” and be really annoyed with them. Or at least I would be.

As for the shower you have to leave it to the host. Your aunt can start to reach out to people and send a reminder to RSVP. Or just call and check with people but I would suggest you try to stay hands off when it comes to the shower. If she’s hosting the event it might create confusion and lead to guests going to you for details and information instead of the person they are supposed to.

Rsvps are annoying. Only got a few from my guests and had to check in on people. Keep in mind people forget and things can get lost in the mail. A few of my guests hadn't even received the invitations. So you do have to check in with people. If you don't want to get a friend to help with this

Soooo I would say (slightly hypocritically because I'd be having the same reaction)... just breathe! You just said it... you gave them a deadline of August 31... Until August 30th... I'd try and let it go as much as you can.

We put a RSVP deadline of Sept 1 for my Sept 8th shower, and those invites will go out tomorrow, so we'll see how quickly people respond.

The wedding invites will go out beginning of October, with a December 31 deadline (Jan 19 wedding)... so it gives me a couple weeks after the holidays to track down any missing people (our venue needs final numbers 72 hours in advance).

I know it's hard... but people procrastinate. It's just what they do. Also, although planning the wedding seems like such a HUGE part of our lives right now... we need to remember it's not the same boat for our guests. They get busy, they have lives, they forget... They figure if they get the RSVP in by Aug 31 they've done good... Even if it drives us nuts!

Good luck!

You sound like FH haha

That's what he tells me, to chill and let it go by. that those that don't rsvp by the due date to then call and ask them to.

I guess I'm just impatient

I have yet to even send out my Save the dates but I am with you on this one! No way would I be able to sit still. I would say that for the Shower I would call people at the 2 week to day mark but it depends on how many people you invited - if there are only 30 people invited then wait till 2 weeks but if more then start now. As for the wedding invitations I would wait until August 31st. I am also aggressive though so when I call about that I will tell them they need an answer otherwise they are not coming I'm a delight I swear! (For sure give them until the 31st IMO because otherwise it seems like jumping the gun.)