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Marcia
Super August 2018 Manitoba

Proper way to say "limited Seating" on details/rsvp card

Marcia, on April 26, 2018 at 18:09 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 19
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Is "_ seats have been reserved in your honor" a polite way to mention that there is limited seating available. My worry is with cultural differences when I send out our wedding invitations, some of our guest will RSVP their entire family. We are having a small wedding (85 guest) to keep cost down, so unfortunately we were not able to invite entire families. Example: I invited my auntie and uncle, but not my toddler cousin. So I just don't want to run into problems with people calling and RSVPing more people (then what I've clearly written, by name, on the invitations) Anyone else experience similar issues? My parents are heavily involved in the community, so many of the older generation already expect an invite. Has a guest that wasn't invited or never RSVP'd just randomly showed up at your wedding? (Back home, a wedding is a community event) With our venue, everything including table setting, and menu plans are calculated in advance, so I worry there won't be any extra seats.

19 Comments

Latest activity by Stiv, on March 24, 2022 at 04:44
  • Stiv
    Newbie December 2022 Ontario
    Stiv ·
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    I had the same situation. Unfortunately, many of my guests did not understand me and were offended. That's why it's hard to advise something, because you never know how the guests will react.

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  • Kourtney
    Beginner September 2021 Ontario
    Kourtney ·
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    View quoted message

    MY GOD! If that happens to me they are uninvited. i have made it perfectly clear i do not want children at my wedding. My sister in law asked if her child could be a ring bearer. After i had said it was a child free wedding.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    I did something similar on the RSVP card that indicated how many guests are invited.

    Other versions have been included to show how you can word for the guest to limit their options of not filling in more family members.

    th?id=OIP.JZC0_D1skcGk6m_M22REvgHaEc&w=3th?id=OIP.BCF4ME0lkxHPG9hssMioCQHaFy&w=2th?id=OIP.eW0jiKOLhYr3la3OOO2NCgHaFv&w=2

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    This is a very tactful way of saying don't come if you're not invited. I love it. I think this is a common problem for all brides. I too am worried about my 20-something cousins bringing a plus one just for the sake of bringing someone, ie not in a committed relationship.

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  • Lucy
    Frequent user July 2019 Ontario
    Lucy ·
    • Dispute

    As well as putting how many seats have been reserved, you could also do RSVP cards where you list everyone's name on a separate line with a tick box to attend and a tick box to not attend. If they have to choose their meal, you can add that to the same line. For example:

    James [] will not be attending [] will be attending and would like to dine on []Main 1 []Main 2

    Jane [] will not be attending [] will be attending and would like to dine on []Main 1 []Main 2


    It probably won't stop the determined ones from writing in extra people, but it'll be clear who is invited and who is not, especially if you don't list children or a child's meal option.

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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    I think the line you have is a great way to indicate you are planning a very specific amount of people! It's polite yet still sounds firm! If anyone calls to ask or complain just explain to them exactly as you have done here I think it's perfect!
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    The wording i put for the RSVP was ___ guests. This way every household has no extras yo invite.
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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
    • Dispute

    "_ seats have been reserved in your honor" is a perfect way to handle this, as well as addressing the invitation explicitly to those who are invited, as in "Mr and Ms Smith" and not "The Smiths" or "The Smith Family".

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  • Emily
    Devoted November 2018 Ontario
    Emily ·
    • Dispute
    I'm honestly terrified of this too! We have RSVPs online, so we have a box where you put your plus one, but we make is clear and say "Please be respectful of the names on the invitation." This was for if we are just inviting the parents of a big family we know.
    On the invitations we only put the parents names. If it's a whole family we will put "The_____Family" on the invite.

    You can also maybe appease your community members by inviting them to just the ceremony and say that the reception is reserved for close family and friends of the bride and groom (Aka not the parents). But my ceremony is an hour long Catholic Mass which makes it worthwhile timewise for people coming out to it. If your ceremony is short maybe do a little coffee and cookie bar right after, so the people who aren't going to the reception feel included and able to celebrate a little bit.

    Sorry for the long winded message. I've thought about this a lot 😂😂😂
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  • Andie
    Expert May 2019 Ontario
    Andie ·
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    Yeah, I couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t for my wedding, but I expect she will do it to me as well
    • Reply
  • Jackie
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Jackie ·
    • Dispute
    I like the sentence “we have reserved _seats for you” that’s prefect Brittany I might have to use that on my invitations. But I’m expecting my family to be perfect and not invite people who aren’t invited 😂😂😂
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    View quoted message

    For real?

    I don't understand why people assume this is okay.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute
    One of my bridesmaids is getting married this year and that’s what she did with her invites, and it makes perfect sense to me! If someone has an issue with it, then can contact you for clarification. It just makes it clear who is invited. No surprise guests!
    • Reply
  • Jocelyn
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Jocelyn ·
    • Dispute
    My sister did this. totally ok.
    • Reply
  • Andie
    Expert May 2019 Ontario
    Andie ·
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    View quoted message

    I second this. My aunt wrote on her invite (that was meant for her and my uncle), "and *cousin name*"!

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  • J
    Devoted June 2019 Ontario
    JuneBride ·
    • Dispute
    That's fine. It's a nice way of saying you can't bring extra. However, there are brides who have had a couple of people who have crossed out the number and write their own so be prepared for that.
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  • Chloe
    Super May 2018 Ontario
    Chloe ·
    • Dispute
    That’s a good way to do it. We just wrote the names of whoever was invited, but I’m anticipating that uninvited people will show up anyway.
    • Reply
  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    That's a great way to put it. It doesn't give them an option to add more guests. If it says "2 seats are reserved for you...." Then they will understand that only 2 seats but you will likely get guests calling or asking you about bringing extra guests and all you have to say if that there is very limited seating at the wedding so the amount of seats your invitation says is all you get. It's hard to confront family like that but they will understand.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Curious September 2018 Alberta
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute
    We put the whole “we have reserved _ seat(s) for you.” I don’t think it’s rude at all and it clears it up for the guests too. They know exactly who is supposed to be there because it’s awkward for them to have to ask if they can bring so and so.
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