Plus Ones

View quoted message Excellent!

Hey Holly,

Not sure if you already have your kid-free wording but I found this the other day, fell in love and intend to use it (we are also kid-free with a fairly small venue) by putting a little personalized handwritten note (with the kids names) in each of the save the dates. I will also paste similar wording somewhere on our website:

"Leave the Littles:

We adore your children but have limited space (and intend to party). Please make it a date night! xo"

I love it and find it the right amount of fun & strict - thought I would share!

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I feel the same as well. I'm not overly worried about it but the thought still has crossed my mind once in a while. But I wouldn't stress too much about it.

View quoted message Addressing is huge! Definitely being careful to address to ONLY those invited, like you said "John and Jane" very specific! I've heard of people messing that up and having like 2 extra people show because they brought kids or sibling or something.

I agree that it's a bit overdramatic.

We're pretty strict on our guest list, stopping the invites at our first cousins and excluding their kids.

On the RSVP cards, will be adding a line that says something like "_ of _ seats reserved" and I'll be filling in the second blank with the number of guests from that family/party.

We're also being careful with wording on the invitations, making sure not to put "The Smith Family" and just put "John and Jane Smith" to avoid confusion.

View quoted message Our coordinator will be more then happy to ask people to leave as it is her property that she owns. And my invitation/RSVP card will be very to the point mentioning that any uninvited guest will not be able to stay.

View quoted message Yeah I'm hoping with the waybill word things on my RSVP card they will understand that they are not allowed any plus one.

View quoted message I do intend to call anyone who writes in or mentions bringing a guest without approval. As for my RSVP I'll have a spot that will mention the amount of seats reserved for them then the number attending. Thank you!

I think just be honest and let people know that you have limited space and cannot accommodate anyone extra. If people have a problem with it or still bring an uninvited guest I would suggest having someone, not in the wedding party, designated to ask them to leave.

I actually wrote down the guest names for all our family and friends who have a partner. So if I was inviting a friend, I wrote down her/his husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend name. I only left two blank, one close friend and a family member, as they don't have anyone in their life right now. The family member we know will bring my FH's aunt. The friend, we have no clue but actually told her not to bring the guy she's seeing as we all hate him (long story).

Lucky for us those were the only two not in a relationship. Everyone else has been long term.

We also put "2 seats have been reserved in your honour" on the RSVPs. This enforces that you can't bring anyone else but yourself and one guest.

If the family knows its always just the household unless a cousin or relative is dating that is a different case. Put particular names on the invites so that no one beyond that is allowed to come.
RSVP card can be indicated the number of guests verify the names invited. Don't acceept more guests since if you don't know them.

It did happen to us which one guest was only invited and brought his bf and mother at the end. Since then i haven't spoken to him and no money given being disrespectful. Don't let that happen to you.

View quoted message That's good, I'm glad! 😊 We don't think we will have issues, but just preparing for the worst!

View quoted message Luckily we haven’t had anyone get upset about it because they understand we have a maximum guest count, just be honest yet strict 😊

View quoted message In the same situation, as soon as we start sending invites and seeing guests we are going to be mentioning it at every chance! We will also make mention on our website and in our invitations. We don't have a large space and we don't want over crowding and to be honest I'm not afraid to ask someone to leave. Just gotta be real strict like you said.

We have been very blunt about plus ones, we have told everyone that there is limited space so we are restricting plus ones to the married or engaged and if we still have room any family in serious relationships. We have also simply stated that whoever gets a plus one will rsvp for that person on the website to ensure they have a seat and a meal.
We were worried about people bringing unexpected guests so since the beginning we have been strict about it.

View quoted message Oh for sure, anyone writing in a plus one will be getting a "nice" phone call from me! But other than that I think I should be fine, I'll just take a bit of extra steps to be safe

I haven't heard of people just showing up, but I have heard about people adding plus ones onto the RSVP cards!

It is a concern of mine, but if I see someone writing down a plus one when they don't have one, they will be getting a call from me!

That being said, it shouldn't be a huge issue, there's only a small amount of guests with no plus ones.

View quoted message Yeah I need to, nicely and soon because I can feel a not so nice one coming lol

View quoted message Both the maid of honour and best man are also not opposed to kicking someone out lol as well as the venue owner and just about anyone else in the wedding party. Not only will I have an issue with the possibility of them not having a seat or the plate but I do not want anyone who is not invited there. It's a small intimate day for us and we'd like to keep it with the people we know and care about.

View quoted message Ugh you just need to be firm with her. I finally let my future MIL have it yesterday (in a nice way). Just tell her that you know what you’re doing and things are going to be fine 🙃

My brother and I were invited to a wedding with our parents but at the time there wasn't a plus as they didn't have room and I was in a relationship for a year with my FH. My brother didn't go to the wedding and my FH went instead of my brother.

All my friends who have gotten married said they had people RSVP yes but not come. Everyone. So, while some people may invite someone who they didn't RSVP for, you might have people not show up, opening up a spot for them (since you've paid for that plate anyway). Although I wouldn't count on that.

We are having our Maid of Honour and Best Man in charge of issues that day. So, if there isn't room for someone who wasn't invited/didn't RSVP, then the Best Man has no problem kicking them out (but nicely!).

View quoted message We are also strictly no children! And that will be outlined in the invitation/RSVP. It is the groom's side I am worried about!

It happened to my sister. Some family on the grooms side randomly brought people who weren't invited with no warning what so ever. Thankfully there was room and the catering service had extra's on hand for this exact possibility.

I'm in the same boat with the limited space and not being able to go over capacity due to fire code so i'm nervous about this too. I'm really stressing limited space though to everyone and i too am making sure to address it to the specific people invited and outlining no kids.

Good luck.

View quoted message That's exactly what I intend to do! I'll explain that it is a private small venue so there is limited space. I honestly do not think anyone will be so rude to do this but after it was brought up it did put me in a nervous state. So I will be making sure that everyone knows that only those on the invitation are invited.

It's completely disrespectful for those to bring someone without notifying you. I think you should ensure to enforce it on your wedding website or invites. Something along the lines of "limited space available at venue..." then hopefully most if not all will get the message to not do something so rude.

View quoted message That's exactly how I see it, it's so disrespectful to just show up with an unannounced guest. But my future mother in law seems to think the opposite. She can't seem to let it go either.

If your RSVP card has a guest number indicator but your guests leave it blank, then just call them to confirm how many people it will be. I don’t think most people will have the audacity to show up with an invited guest.

View quoted message That is super cute! I love the song request sort too!!

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It should help for sure! This is what our RSVP looks like for an idea!

RSVP1

View quoted message That's what I was thinking. In the rsvp card actually, have it indicate the number of guests accepting the invitation. And hoping that puts the unnecessary nerves at ease!

We included the names of the people invited on each save the date, and the invites will also be addressed to only those invited. We did include a guest with most people that were invited, but there are a few solo invites still!

On our RSVP card, we included a line for everyone to indicate how many people were actually going to be attending - this way, we know exactly how many to be ready for!