"plus One" thoughts

I agree with a lot of the results of no plus ones unless its family members only. I too didn' t invite those thar were not i hadn' t met. Its your day and you don't need to answer to anyone cause you can put number od guests on the RSVP card to indicate. I had one person bring his mother and boyfriend which pissed me off having to feed two other mouths and getting no money as a result. Do what you have to and not for others.

My fiance's aunt was very mad at us for telling her not everyone gets a plus one. But we are paying to feed these people donors our choice! Luckily majority not our friends are in serious relationships.

I think this is 100% reasonable. Of all my friends who have been married, its been the same.

As of right now we're doing the same. Our venue is capped at 175. If people go out of their way to ask about a guest, we might say yes depending on what our RSVP list looks like.

We also aren't offering plus ones unless they're in a serious relationship/engaged/married. The same will go for our wedding party, unless of course we are already close with their partner. After dinner, if their S/O wants to come they are more than welcome!

We limited plus ones for that very reason. We had a few questions and some upset people, but people understood after we explained the reason behind it.

I am not allowing for plus ones at my wedding. I want to keep the numbers lower and have a more intimate wedding with my friends and family. The only way a plus one is coming is if they have been in a serious relationship with one of my family members for quite some time now. So don't worry you are not crazy...this is something a lot of us will likely deal with. Some reason bride's always end up having to defend their choices for their weddings. You do what you think is best for you and don't let anyone elses opinion stop you!

You are not crazy nor rude! A wedding in no cheap affair and adding guests certainly ups the costs. If people don't like it too bad but make sure you keep standing your ground.

View quoted message That’s the kind of no-nonsense attitude we all should adopt while planning our weddings lol 🙌🏻👏🏻

View quoted message I'm just gonna tell them that unless they see the term "and guest" on the envelope, there is NO plus one option...

I have been worrying about this myself. With so many people in my family I don’t want the guest list to get out of control and I agree with other ladies here- it is your day and you can only hope your guests are enough of an adult to handle the fact that there will be no plus one option for them. I’ve seen on some other forums where people specify that only ONE seat will be reserved for them. It’s not rude, it’s necessary. Good luck!

We are in the same boat but I am very firm with my decision. People who are in a serious relationship get one, but lots of people will not. I stayed this in my invite so it’s clear. The singles all know each other anyways. Remember it’s your wedding and your money

Hopefully if you’re inviting these “singles” to your wedding, they will respect the fact that there is no option for a plus one. It is YOUR day with your fiancé and you should have it your way. If anyone really gives you a problem, just tell them that’s how it is. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone would even have the audacity to complain to a bride about such a thing.

View quoted message Yes I totally know what you mean! I'm nervous about the RSVPing on this website because you can't just look up one person and have a specified # next to their name! Kind of scares me 😬

We are giving plus ones to a couple people not in serious relationships because we are the only people they know. I don't like being in a room full of strangers so we will show the same courtesy to others. But, singles who know someone else will not be getting a plus one.

This is totally reasonable! We will also be inviting only serious relationships of guests, exactly for the same reason. I cannot believe that one would perceive it as rude!

We’re not offering plus ones to people unless they’re in a serious relationship either. My FH felt like he had to at first, especially some of his groomsmen but we talked about it and it doesn’t make sense for them to bring dates because they won’t even be sitting with them. We’ve just told them that if they want to ask someone to come to the dance afterwards they can but the dinner is for close friends and family only.

Thank you to everyone for sharing their thoughts and letting me know I'm not crazy on this way of thinking!!
:-)

Wedding planning is a time in your life when you spend a lot of time feeling like you have to defend your choices to other people and I know how frustrating it can be. Just explain to them that you put a lot of consideration into your guest list and you've invited exactly who you want to be there. When it comes right down to it, you don't owe anyone any kind of explanation or apology when it comes to what you've chosen for your day. Stay strong and stick to your guns. Chances are that when those people get married, they'll understand the decisions you made for your day.

View quoted message True say! i've explained this to my FH as well so that he can tell his buddies /colleagues in case they ask.

View quoted message I agree with Crystal! Weddings are expensive enough for people that may bot be around by the time you get back from your homeymoon. 2 weddings I've been to had issues with plus ones. 1 gf of my cousin made it into our family photo! And the other girl at another wedding was asked not to be in the group photo because she was "not invited" and a whole scene was caused. Its best to just stand your ground on your guest list. If they dont understand that then do they really need to be there?

View quoted message I would just straight up say your guest list would be too big if you gave plus ones and you cant afford it. Most people will understand even if they dont like it.

We attempted this and failed horribly at it, majority of our single guests are bringing a plus one and I haven't met any of them!

I think it’s more rude of a guest to demand permission to bring someone than you not giving them a plus one.
My FH and I are not giving plus ones to single people either! We are only extending the invite if they have been together more than 1 year from the time our wedding comes.
We have 268 people on our list right now...That’s without giving plus ones! If my guests don’t understand that weddings cost a lot of money then I would rather them not come!

Also, how on earth do i explain this to my single guests without sounding rude (especially if i get the "well i got to bring a date for the last wedding i went to! why not this one?" argument!)

View quoted message I'm hoping that when single
guests receive their invite that the invitation is for them only....and im hoping they don't "demand" permission to bring a date!

Thank heavens i'm not the only one who sounds like a crazy person!

Im only inviting plus ones if it is a serious relationship and we have met them in the past. I dont want people we dont know at our wedding!
I know lots of people will want to bring plus ones just for the sake of having a date, but there is nobody coming to my wedding that wont know a ton of people and feel awkward without a date. So im standing my ground on this one.

I'm not letting people have plus ones either. Don't worry about it.

Most people should understand! With couples that have been together for at least a year, I would include. Mostly because at that point they're in that serious relationship you mentioned. People that have been together less or are just seeing people, I can understand you not wanting to invite them. That's just what I think though. Totally understand where you are coming from though!