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Master September 2017 Ontario

Picking bridesmaids - advice needed

Erin, on February 15, 2017 at 18:19

Hi fellow brides! I have run into a problem while picking bridesmaids. I have 2 of my best friends in the party (which is great since one lives very far away and the other is studying to be a doctor) and my issue is in picking my 3rd bridesmaid. When we had first set our date, I told a friend of mine that she was on my list of bridesmaids in consideration. I'm not sure if she thought I meant that the list was final but I have another friend that I feel closer to these days that I would like as my 3rd bridesmaid. My friend I am considering asking I haven't known as long but feel like we get along better, more of the time. I know most people will tell me "it's your wedding! do what you want!" but I don't want to create any awkwardness or animosity. Should I say anything or just leave it be?

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Master September 2017 Ontario
Erin · On February 15, 2017 at 18:40
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I see where you're coming from but it was just in an off-hand conversation. I could open it up to 4 people but I might have to change the colour of the dresses as my friend is a red head and I wanted red dresses. I know that seems silly but it took me a long time to decide on colour and dress style. I should also she hasn't said a word to me about this since the discussion and hasn't asked about planning or helping or anything like that.
VIP June 2017 Ontario
Melissa · On February 15, 2017 at 18:36
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I think that by telling someone they were being "considered" you need to have her in your group- imagine how hurtful it will be to say..."I'm done considering, turns out you aren't quite right for the job". Eck. Not nice.

You could have four bridesmaids, and include all, or just three. But I would keep it to the three you have already talked to. I wouldn't have mentioned anything to anyone until my mind was made up, but it's too late for that it seems...but I really think to preserve the friendship you can't drop your first friend.

Expert August 2018 Ontario
Linzer · On February 15, 2017 at 18:26
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TBH I think it was weird to tell someone you were "considering" them as a bridesmaid. You either do it or you don't. I feel like now telling her she didn't make the cut is super awkward. Is there are reason you can't have 4?