Photography disagreement

View quoted message Good advice! I’m sure it’s like herding cats so any tips are greatly appreciated!

View quoted message If you're considering group pictures after the ceremony, its best to let guests know not to leave after. I had my brother gather the groups together by name to take pictures ib order.

View quoted message That’s a great idea - I’m all about lists!!

Parents try to look out for you and what is best to not go over budget, though they don't realize how quality is for you as to someone else offering being vague on the information details. Its great you booked your choice of photographer to ease the tension. Just make a list of photos you would like to have done since it would be easier for your photographer to know when and where it will take place so they can allocate the timing towards your day.

View quoted message Thank you! ☺️ I was scared we were running out of time!

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I'm glad you've booked someone you're happy with!

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Photos are so important to me as well

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Aw that's such a shame for your MOH! That's part of my concern - someone may be "good" but wedding photography is its own ballgame! I can take photos of wildlife, but I'd never feel comfortable being responsible for someone's wedding photos....that's why people make a business around being wedding photographers. If you don't mind, I think I'll relate that story (in the most general of terms) to my parents.

We decided to go ahead and book the professional we've found, in the budget that we were comfortable with. We'll make it work, whether that's by pulling from other parts of the budget or just setting aside some extra money for it!

Thank you for your advice

Beautiful photos are too important on our special day!!!

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My MOH's brother-in-law was an aspiring photographer and gifted them photography for the day. The problem is he had never done a wedding before. The photos turned out ok, but MOH says it's one of her biggest regrets.

Just let your family know that this is something you're not willing to compromise on and will cut costs in other areas.

My two solutions would be pay for the photography yourselves or sit down with your parents, have a list of photographers and go through the sites with them and decide on a photographer together. Remind them that this is your wedding and though this "friend" may be good you have to feel comfortable with them.

Maybe to "appease them" schedule a phone call and ask about experience, equipment, to be sent past work. I personally wouldn't hire someone without a portfolio but if your parents say "he's good" he has to have photos that someone has seen. If he can't send you photos that's bad! Search for "questions to ask a wedding photographer" and write down the answers even if it's "ummm probably", then go over the responses with your parents and let them know how you feel about it.

View quoted message Yes! That’s exactly how I feel! Those bits are just details - nice but not the same as lifetime memories.

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Exactly, we are doing the same - cutting cost in areas like entertainment, decorations and trying to find the most inexpensive items we can get for our wedding. I rather have amazing photos of my FH and myself and our families then worry about something people don't tend to remember in weddings.

That's an other thing, people are not going to remember what the centerpieces are or how the music was, they will usually only remember the food and the atmosphere. If you have good food and a fun atmosphere, you should be fine!

View quoted message Ohhhhh yes! I will be giving my sister our main songs to add and then she know what both my fiancé and I like, and will add accordingly. Hahaha


Ahhhhhhh yeah, then no. That definitely is understandable! Run fast! Hahahaha

View quoted message I’m actually quite enjoying building our playlist ☺️ Though I have a lot of hours to fill yet so might eventually change my mind on how enjoyable it is 😆


Unfortunately they don’t have a web or media page for any samples of their work so I’m not feeling especially confident!

View quoted message I agree! Thank you for your input

View quoted message Thank you so much Abbie!! 💕
Oh yes, we’re in the same boat! DJ is our Emcee, the emcee is my fiancé’s cousin. Hahaha! The playlist will be made by my sister that loves love music.

Oh yeah, I feel you! Do you see their work and if it’s any good? Haha! Thank you so much! I wish you all the best on your search and to find an amazing photographer!!

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Yeah, screw that. Not worth the risk. lol

View quoted message Fair enough! But they have no portfolios - when I asked I was just told that “he’s good” 🙃😅

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To be fair, if those friends of friends actually have an online portfolio to consider, I wouldn't write them off just yet. You can entertain the idea and take a look to see if they live up to expectations. But to suggest that you forego an amateur and just have some random guest take pictures at their seat would be ill-advised.

Another bad thing about having friends or family do it is, if they screw up, can you blame them without damaging the relationship? And is that relationship worth damaging over?

View quoted message Omg! Done! 😆😆 but in all seriousness ... this is what I worry about! Or not having the right positioning for the lighting or missing half the wedding cause they’ve never done this before....there’s a reason there are professionals out there!

If your parents are making a fuss about photography and trying to make you use their friends, show them examples like this.

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Thank you so much, Carmel! I have tried to express how reasonable this pricing is but I think *showing* them with comparisons might help! It helps to know that your Dad came around And post production is a huge part of the package - you can save a lot of great images with a little knowledge in editing! Photographers are artists...we are playing for their time, talent, investment in equipment etc, etc!

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Thank you for your thoughts, Brittany! Photography is SO important to me, it represents the whole day and your memories. I really think we'll regret pinching pennies in this area - besides, how much are you really saving if you don't get an end product you'll enjoy? I really don't need an expensive dress or entertainment, but I do want the physical manifestation of our memories to be something we'll treasure!

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I think that might be the best compromise!

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That's a good idea! At the end of the day, I think it really has to be our choice or we'll regret it!

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That's a gorgeous photo!! We are trying to be mindful of spending as well - for example not having a DJ or live entertainment. If we knew someone I think it would be different, but this would be an amateur, friend of a friend or colleague. I'm glad you found such an awesome deal on photography for you guys!

My parents were beyond helpful with our wedding but we constantly dealt with sticker shock with my dad. My sisters are much older than me and were married in 2001 and 2008 and the wedding industry has exploded since then. Like others said, that is a REALLY good deal and you pay for what you get. What helped with my dad when he lost it ($3750 for 11 hours of photography) was sending him the websites of the other ones we looked into (both more expensive and less expensive) with reasons why we weren't going with them (such as the cheaper ones they aren't as great with shadows and lighting). We also reminded him that the cost of photographers includes all of their time scheduling, editing (which unless we do it ourselves, we have no comprehension how long they spend on this), programs, to name a few. This is their living which sometimes we all need to remind ourselves - their price is how they value their work and how we should to. He now is so beyond pleased with our photos (as are we) - our 1500+ photos! Hopefully something there helps you; the last thing you want, and they should want, is for you to hate your photos or something to happen because you went with someone with little experience. All of your reasons are so legit!!! Good luck!!!

As someone who has read a lot about photography and videos and all things wedding - I was told to invest the most on on a photographer. You're absolutely right on the head about it being the only way for you to be able to look back on one of the biggest nights of your life and actually LIKE what you see.

These photos are going to be yours to cherish forever and I would hate to see a bride not like their photos because they hired a hobbyist or an beginner to capture an amazing day like your wedding day and the photos did not come out the way you wanted to.

Paying a good price for a photographer is probably one of the best investments for the wedding day.

And if they are contributing to the costs of the wedding - let them know they can pay for something else then. You and you FH can focus on picking out and paying a photographer that fits within your budget.

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Would it be possible to pay for the photographer yourself and let them pay for other parts of the wedding?

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That is a really good price. It's too bad they don't seem to get it

Honestly if you're able to afford it without their help by borrowing from other parts of the budget or by some other means I would just let them know you aren't willing to compromise on this part of the wedding and leave it at that. Maybe they can just gift you whatever they think photography is worth and you can pay for the rest?

Hello Abbie,
I totally feel you on this being the only wedding and wanting photos. I am a bit fan of photos and want to have great photos taken at our wedding.

We have a family friend who is a photographer, he’s not a wedding photographer. However, he takes amazing photos! We’re using him as the photographer for our wedding. We have a good deal of $600 for engagement and wedding photos. My thing is, we’ll have photos as the end of the day. We do not have a videographer, but the photos will work. We’re being mindful of our spending due to us building our house.
This is a family photo he took of us…

This is up to you and your FH at the end of the day. You would like a professional photographer to capture those moments. Do it!

View quoted message Thank you for your thoughtful response, Christiana! We have found a photographer for 8 hours, including a second shooter, for $1950 which I honestly think is a great price. Averages around here are $****.
I have tried to explain to them what goes into it, but they keep seeing it as “just a photo shoot.” Which is not true...you can’t reschedule your wedding photos if something goes wrong!


I did wonder about having reception covered by an amateur photographer as I’m not as concerned about those images (I don’t think we’ll be framing them) but I honestly don’t think it will be that much cheaper when it comes down to it!