Opinions on post wedding Bbq/potluck party

I don't think it would be rude as long as your initial guestlist is small enough for people to understand! At the end of the day those that love and support your will be okay with any decisions you make

I think if you keep the guest list small enough then no one will feel too left out or offended. You could also have another small mock ceremony at the reception if you want.

There probably will be some people who will be offended or who will feel left out that they weren't at the ceremony. I think if you do family (or even just immediate family) only, people will be more understanding. I also think it's great that you are planning a separate meal for them. That's where it gets dicey is when people invite friends for the dance only. But, it sounds like you are planning a whole other reception, which includes dinner.

I agree with Brittany - just make sure that your guest list isn't too big or people will look at it as why them and not me? I would stick to your immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents, and select close friends). It should come out to roughly 25-30 people.

I don't think it's strange... quite a few people do it... But it's doing it tactfully and finding other ways to make your "party-only" guests feel special. (Showing a video of the ceremony, or have your photographer do a couple dozen quick edits to show)

Make sure the "small" wedding on Bear Mountain is truly small... because if people find out its 50+ people or whatever, they start getting more offended than if it's just immediate family and close friends.

It can be nice too, to have an intimate ceremony/dinner, and then have more of a party atmosphere for the post-wedding reception, especially when you're able to do more for your guests at a more casual reception, than having to really cut the guest list to do the whole thing on Bear Mountain.

It's beautiful up there, great choice! Good luck!