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Ruxandra
Newbie July 2018 Ontario

Newbie planning a wedding

Ruxandra, on February 26, 2017 at 14:53 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 11
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Hi everyone!

I just began planning a wedding and have some questions about vendors and the bridal party!

1) Are we supposed to get full meals and bar access to our vendors? I was under the impression that a full meal would suffice but one vendor told me that they should also get access to bar and that thats what previous clients have given them... I think that's inappropriate to drink on the job, it's just professional conduct in my opinion.

2) Who do we give service charges to? My venue includes it in my bill for the bartenders, servers, etc. However, should I provide tips for the photographers, flower vendor, decor vendor, etc? If so, how much?

3) What is bridesmaid etiquette? I was thinking of getting them a gift as an invitation (embroidered satin bathrobe) and pay for their makeup, hair, manicure and pedicure. I was going to let them buy their dress and shoes as I want to let them have a say for their attire that they could wear again.

I'll definitely have more questions in the future... thanks everyone. Hopefully this will help other brides as well!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Valerie, on February 27, 2017 at 22:40
  • Valerie
    VIP April 2017 Ontario
    Valerie ·
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    I think everyone covered your other points well. I just want to say... OMG! I can't even believe they said they more or less expect to be allowed to drink!!!! That's so insane! I would absolutely not book with them and even mention the reason (politely), so they can (hopefully) improve their business practices. Vendors that are working definitely need food, but wow... that's a new one! lol

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Ruxandra,

    I think Em's links cover the tipping things pretty well- you can tip anyone for good work, and there is not requirement to tip the owner of a business (if say, your photographer is running her own company), but tipping people who work under someone is nice, as they do not get the full amount that you are paying.

    Your bridesmaid plan sounds good- normally you don't have to pay for hair and makeup unless you are requiring that they have a pro do it- but it is a very nice gesture!

    Best for last- the vendor and bar access. Personally, I would never allow it. Of course they get a meal, because working long ours with no food sucks, but I would expect that because they are working, they will be sticking to juice. Like many others, I would reconsider working with a vendor who mentioned expecting to be allowed to drink on the job....If this person works with a company I might even bring it up with a manager.

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  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·
    • Dispute

    Hey Ruxandra! Welcome to the community! Smiley heart I think you're raising up quite important points in here. You can take a look at these discussions to see what's been discussed on the subject too: Will you tip your vendors?

    Taxes, service charge and tips, oh my!

    Bridesmaids gifts

    Are you going to propose to your bridesmaids? How many bridesmaids will you have? Smiley smile

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  • Ruxandra
    Newbie July 2018 Ontario
    Ruxandra ·
    • Dispute


    Thank you! :-) Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

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  • Ruxandra
    Newbie July 2018 Ontario
    Ruxandra ·
    • Dispute


    Thank you! :-)

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  • Ruxandra
    Newbie July 2018 Ontario
    Ruxandra ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Samtam!

    Thank you so much for your advice! I'm glad I'm on the same wavelength as you...
    And congrats to you and your partner on your wedding! I see you're from BC... that's where my (hopefully) maid of honour is living currently!

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  • Samtam
    VIP November 2016 British Columbia
    Samtam ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Ruxandra! Welcome and congrats on your engagement!

    1) They should definitely not be drinking on the job and I would not hire them! You should feed your vendors that are working during your dinner (photographer, videographer, DJ, coordinator) and they can have water or soft drinks but should not be drinking alcohol while working. Generally your caterer should be able to provide a vendor meal for a discounted price compared to the guest meals.

    2) You generally tip your vendors that don't have a gratuity already included. I've heard that you don't have to tip vendors that own their own company but all our vendors did a great job so we tipped them. (Officiant, photographer, videographer, DJ and photobooth attendent) We didn't tip vendors that didn't attend the wedding such as flower and cake. Usually the service charges include the servers and bartenders so you don't have to tip them.

    3) That's really thoughtful of you to pay for their makeup, hair and a manicure/pedicure! They should be able to cover the dress and shoes. It's important to talk to them about their budgets before choosing their outfit so that you can find something that works for everyone. It's good to be upfront with them about what they're committing to so there's no confusion later.

    Happy planning! Let us know if you have other questions!

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  • Katherine
    Super September 2017 New Brunswick
    Katherine ·
    • Dispute
    1) yikes, they want to drink at work... Agree with Lindsey on that one, if nothing has been signed I'd look elsewhere.2) Tipping is up to you but in my opinion not necessary unless they have gone above and beyond... I personally would not tip the florist, photographer, or decorator.3) Usually you give gifts to the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and your parents at the rehearsal dinner, but completely up to you.
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  • L
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Linzer ·
    • Dispute
    Hey and welcome to the boards! I can weigh in on a few but not all of these.
    That first point...yikes! I would not allow my vendors to be drinking while they're working. That's totally unprofessional and a huge red flag for me, I'd consider not hiring them at all if they said something like that. Do you drink at work? No. Neither should they.
    Getting a bridesmaid proposal gift is very sweet! If you aren't being overly picky about the dresses, and letting them pick something in their price range, having them pay is normal. As for hair and makeup you don't have to pay but it's kind! If you are adamant that they must have their hair and makeup professionally done a certain way, you should foot the bill. I'll giving my MOH the option to get her hair done by the same lady as me and pay for it herself, but she can fully opt out and do her own as well. I'm doing my own makeup so if she wants a pro to do that part she can pay for it herself haha I think when I'm her MOH in early 2019 I will be given the same option.
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