Need serious advice

For your ceremony you can have your full Hindu attire, tell him how important this is and he should be okay with it. Then for the reception you can change into a white, or off white dress, doesn't have to be lace. Have both ceremony and reception parts of your culture and parts not. Marriage is a huge compromise in a way and so should your wedding. You shouldn't have to put all your culture, traditions, and religion away just because he's not the same as you. He needs to understand the importance of this not only to your but your family..his soon to be family. Definitely sit down and pretty much tell him the things he cannot change, and things you two can compromise on. Good luck!

Im not religious. my FH was born & raised Catholic and out of respect to him & his family we're having a Catholic wedding. My preference would've been ceremony & reception at the reception site...but I never brought it up so as to avoid drama.

I agree with being upfront and honest, you guys could try pre marital counseling as well but the most important is that it is BOTH of yours wedding and if you compromised he should too especially if it’s important to you. He needs to know how important it is to you I would definitely sit down and just explain how you feel about it and see what he says.

View quoted message Hi Lisa... Thank you. That does help alot. I don't feel so alone. I will talk to him and see what he says. Hopefully all works out with you!!!

Hi Bavisha, that can be a tough discussion for sure. I went through something similar recently. My fiance believes in God but is non religious and I'm Catholic. The whole time I've been planning our wedding I was OK with a justice of the peace. But once the meeting with the officiant happened and I didn't have the religious element it started to really bother me. I didn't realise how much until I went through the process. We are getting married in 2 months (OMG!!!!) and I don't have time to change things around so I spoke to my fiance and we agreed, since it was important to me, that we would go to a Catholic Church a week later to complete the Catholic portion of the ceremony. He's doing all of that for me, but was clear he wasn't converting! And I appreciate that! That being said, if your fiance doesn't care about religion, then it shouldn't matter to him if he goes through the process of a Hindu Wedding or not. It should matter because it's important to you!!!!! Have a serious discussion be clear with him and your parents so everyone understands he's not converting but doing this for you and the family. This way you get what you want and he doesn't feel pressure to change and/or conform. Hope this helps! Good luck!

I would mention the ways you have compromised and say would you be willing to do these things for me? This is a big day for you both and you want to remember you had it way you both wanted it not starting the marriage out with him only getting what he wanted.

Compromise! A wedding is just the beginning to a marriage and these things need to be discussed early on. You’re clearly making concessions to what he wants and he should do the same.

It's REALLY IMPORTANT that you guys find a way to compromise on this. You two need to sit down and have a clear, calm conversation about what you both want and how you can both get that. Maybe even consider seeing a relationship counsellor when you do this. I balked at the idea at first, but they can be a great third party and keep you guys from losing your cool while discussing things like this.

View quoted message Thank you. And yes it is very important to me. But I'm not one to judge or stop someone else from practising their religion .

I decided to do all the ceremonies in one weekend. The Hindu wedding is like the first part without a Hindu reception. I'm doing the western wedding as the reception the next evening. He feels I'm forcing it upon him. Which I most definitely am not. It's just important to me. I'm back the western reception coz I've always wanted to wear a white wedding dress and the Hindu wedding doesn't allow that. I'm making huge compromises for him... the dress, most of the decor and even music and food (basically the entire western wedding)

I think he's upset that my parents are planning the Hindu wedding without our say... but it's how it's done traditionally... and plus my parents are paying for everything... including the western wedding. I feel it's only fair that they get to plan the Hindu wedding...

View quoted message Thank you for your advice! I will definitely do just that.

Unfortunately there's no way of incorporating the 2. It's why I decided to do 2 separate occasions.

View quoted message Thank you very much for your advice. I will definitely speak to him and see what he says

That's really tricky. I recently converted to the same religion as my FH, but before that we would have been running into similar issues. You're faith is always important, and it should absolutely be respected. Try to make him understand that to you, that ceremony is not just "bells and whistles," but something incredibly important and meaningful.

I don't know what your budget is like, but would it be possible to have two ceremonies back-to-back? I've seen that done before. I hope everything works out. ❤ Keep us updated!

By being upfront and honest! Just explain to him just as you did for us. You feel you are compromising quite a bit for him and you are looking for a compromise from him as well. Is there anyway to do it a little bit differently (the hindu ceremony) or work it into the western reception in some way?

I 100% see where you are coming from. I would approach it with the tone of compromise. Let him know it’s important to you and that you are compromising to make him happy. This wedding is about BOTH of you so it should be equally split based on both of your desires. I am
not a religious person but if my FH wanted to get married in a church (I may not like it but) I’d do it.