Well, this past week has been quite stressful. Our stag and doe was last weekend (which went amazing btw!) and while I was there (it was held in Sault Ste. Marie, 8 hours from where we live) I had to deal with other family situations, not to mention I didn't have my MOH there. Long story short, my MOH waited until a few days before we left for the stag and doe to tell me that she wouldn't be coming due to the inability to get time off work, her boyfriend being in a cast and not able to sit in a car for that long, the fact that she wasn't willing to drive down Saturday and then come home Sunday, plus every other excuse under the sun she could find. My FH and I offered her a free ride (we left Thursday and came home Monday- but could have changed days to accommodate her better if she asked) and a free place to stay. All she would have had to pay for was food, which wouldn't even have been a lot because food was provided for us the whole time we were there. Well, I found out she was off work in the late afternoon on Friday and then took off out of town with her boyfriend until late Sunday then gave me some BS excuse about how her boyfriends uncle or someone wasn't doing well. She has known about our stag and doe since it was first planned many months ago (like back in March) and told me she would be there. She's been really off towards me since we got engaged and has been distancing herself a bit. Our relationship really started to feel rocky when the planning started happening because she is also involved in her brothers wedding which is this month (she hasn't had to do a single thing for it though other than buy a dress). Anyway, I let it be known to her that I was very unhappy with the fact that she gave me BS excuses as to why she couldn't come and then took off out of town with her bf, and because of me feeling this way and telling her how I felt she backed out of my wedding party. I have been friends with this girl for almost 10 years now and my daughter even calls her Auntie. I told her that she couldn't take it back and that if this was what she was choosing that it would definitely cause strain in our relationship. She then asked me to give her time to decide but I told her not to worry about it. Do you agree with me that if you were best friends with someone and they agreed to be in your wedding party that you would actually BE a part of the wedding and show excitement and NOT have to think about whether or not you want to be their MOH after a disagreement? Maybe I just expected more from her. I would never have had to give it a second thought as to whether or not I would be there to stand beside her on her big day. It's so frustrating. Also, lets not forget the fact that she told me she couldn't be a part of any wedding planning, not even looking at dresses online and choosing a style she liked, until after her brothers wedding because she doesn't have the time to give me any sort of attention. Her brother and his fiancé haven't included her in anything to do with their wedding, not even the showers or the stag and doe (shag as we call it here in Thunder Bay) and I've had to listen to her complain about how she hasn't been included and complain about not wanting to be in the party at all.
Do you think I over reacted by telling her not to bother? It is literally the only thing that we have argued about when it came to wedding planning, and I felt like I had every right to be upset with her because of being lied to. I would have understood if she just told me in advance that she didn't want to come because of time constraints rather than the BS she fed me.
