Mog's Dress

I've said nothing to my FMIL, but I got to pick my grandmother and mothers dresses with them.

My FMIL has already been going back and forth on me with dresses I think it's cute!! She actually picked one and showed me and I LOVED it... and then she laughed and pointed out the shape of it was exactly like my wedding dress hahah!! So wont be getting that one! I'm very open! My mother will be doing a fancy pantsuit so I'm not worried at all about things being different! If shes happy and comfortable go for it! My only request really is the moms dont wear purple (my bridesmaids colour)

I mentioned the colour I was hoping they would get it in because I told the mothers that I want to avoid having them clash in the photos. Aside from this I gave them complete control. I am going shopping with my mom for her birthday (Which is 4 months before the wedding) so I will make sure she gets something that won't compete with my dress.. we will see about the MOG

I would ask to see it because in my experience a lot of “mother of the _” dresses tend to be on the sparkly side. I do agree that a floor length sequinned gown could be a bit much, but it depends on the dress. Did you pick your dress yet? If it’s in direct competition with yours, I can understand why you would feel some type of way about it. I remember my FMIL made a comment about wanting to be the only mother in navy and it gave me anxiety. It wasn’t malicious (she wanted to match her son so it would be obvious she’s the mother of the groom), but I feared my mom or stepmom would choose a blue dress and I didn’t want to tell them they couldn’t choose it or disappoint my FMIL. In the end, my stepmom did opt for a sapphire blue dress and FMIL didn’t seem to care so crisis averted.



When my friend got married she planned a black and silver themed wedding, all her bridesmaids were in black, all the men wore black suits, and she asked her mother and MIL to wear dark colours to match. Her MIL bought a lime green dress and wouldn’t back down - and stuck out like a sore thumb in wedding photos. My friend never forgot it and she refuses to have some photos developed. So, I see where you’re coming from. If it doesn’t clash, I’d say let it fly because nobody outshines the bride no matter how much they may try, but if it clashes you can try to gently explain that as she may not want to clash with everyone else.

View quoted message I honestly don’t even know anymore haha everyone says different things, I just asked mine to avoid certain colours that would clash with our wedding but in the end I guess it wouldn’t matter since they’re not wedding decor lol

Should we be telling them what colours to wear? Does it matter if your MIL and Mother wear the same colour? I'm so out of the loop on this.

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Ugh so tough! Don't even get me started on mine.

Good luck with that. Worst case, she's just going to look overdressed while everyone is more casual, right?

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I agree with this. If when you see it, you strongly dislike it, perhaps you can let her know... but if you go that route, make sure you do it soon to give hertime to choose something else. Otherwise, I think you'll both be fine and it sounds like she's excited for the dress so why not let her have that?

I am choosing the colour of the dress for both mothers because they will be in a few photos and I don’t want them to clash with each other or the wedding party. Aside from this I get no say, which really worries me with my FMIL

If she were any other guest, you would have no clue what she was wearing to your wedding until she showed up and therefore would have no say. I would say see the dress and how she feels/looks in it. If it makes her happy, what's the big deal? I doubt very much that she bought thinking "Oh! This dress is totally going to grab all the attention and I'm going to upstage Jenna so bad!"

View quoted message Have a look at the dress, and if it end up being something that you don’t feel comfortable wearing at your wedding, then sit her down and let her know that you had a different idea of what you would have liked the mothers to wear, and that you would prefer her to wear something less flashy since the overall feel of the wedding is a little more casual.

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Ya I was also planning on going shopping with her but I guess she got excited and decided to go herself lol

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Lol! She actually started looking for her dress at my wedding dress appointment, as soon as I came out of the fitting room she was already in a dress...

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No I haven't actually seen the dress yet but you make a good point, I should probably actually have a look at it before I get stressed about it.

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So I haven't actually seen the dress yet so I'm not sure how flashy it is or what the neckline is like but my wedding won't really be a sequin kind of look it will be a little more casual. It's tough communicating with FMIL's isn't it! lol

I'd say if she's already purchased the dress, there's not much you could say. You could express to her that this is not what you had in mind, but it really depends on your relationship. My FMIL has been hounding me for my wedding colours (which I don't have), and wanting to coordinate her dress colour with my mothers (which my mother does NOT want to do).

Between you and I, I don't know who's situation is worst lol.

Is your FMIL's dress wedding appropriate?

Have you seen the dress yet? It might not be some big glitter ball (which is what I usually picture when I think sequins). Mine showed me a dress she was thinking about wearing but I definitely get to have much say it in.
Her dress also is covered in sequins but they are so small it just looks like metalic specs in the fabric. Definitely not trying to upstage anyone or grab all the attention but instead just look nice for her sons wedding and be a bit more dressed up then she would for someone else’s wedding.

My FMIL wants me to have some input in her dress. She asked what she should wear, what my mom's wearing, etc... I think she just wants some guidance and then to pick what she's comfortable with.

My mom wants to wear a floor length, light silver, bedazzled gown... but I know my mom, and she's not an attention grabber, so I'm okay with it. I've actually gone and looked at a bunch with her.

However... my FMIL wearing something flashy would rub me the wrong way. I think you need to see the dress, and judge from there, or just tell her you were hoping for a certain "look" if you could give some input. She may be upset, or she may be glad you're considering her part of the bridal ensemble and you want her to match.

Traditionally, the mother of the bride chooses her dress first and then the mother of the groom chooses so they don't wind up in the same colour. I think it's fine to request your mother-in-law wear a certain colour or a certain style.

Oh my! A full sequin gown is a little ridiculous for the mother of the groom, holy! Was her first choice a wedding dress? You should absolutely get a say in what she wears, I would tell her that while it’s great to start thinking of outfits now, it’s much to early to be purchasing her dress. Hopefully she listens! Good luck 💕

Yeah seems a bit attention grabbing. See of you can talk to her. I ended up going shopping with my MIL for her dress. She was considerate and didn't go with any dress that looked similar to mine or was too flashy. Only issue is she chose a dark navy blue. I just prefer lighter colours since its a wedding. The dress fit her price range, body type, she didn't have to get it altered and it can be dressed up with jewelry.

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That is a good point, it's not like we get to choose the other guests dresses. I just get the feeling that she's trying to be the centre of attention by wearing head to toe sequins, I find it to be a little inconsiderate

I'm with Vinod on this - unless you planned on having them wear something similar to each other or similar to the bridesmaid dresses then I would say you don't get a say as she is like any other guest.

If your planning to have the mothers in the same dress, adress your voice and see id she would be good with the idea. This way she can return the dress she bought.

If there isn't any choice in what you haven't seen, then let her wear the dress.