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Eartha
Devoted April 2017 Ontario

Modern chinese traditions

Eartha, on November 28, 2016 at 09:45 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 22
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Hi everyone,

So I was wondering if anyone has any tips or advice they can provide with regards to modern chinese wedding traditions.

My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and our parents are not super super religious; however, we will still be doing the basic chinese wedding traditions.

We will be doing the tea ceremony at both families, my fiance will bring over items over to my family a couple months before the wedding, I will be wearing a tradition chinese wedding dress for a period of time during the wedding and we will be buying new bed sheets.

Am I missing any general traditions?

Thanks in advance for everyone's help.

Eartha Smiley ring

22 Comments

Latest activity by Emilie, on December 2, 2016 at 07:44
  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·
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    Hey Tiffany Smiley heart I'm so happy to hear you're including chinese traditions into your wedding too! I can't wait to see pictures! Will you also go for chinese meal style with many many courses? I can't wait to hear more about the traditions you'll include in your weeding! Keep us posted! Smiley love How will your traditional chinese dress look like?

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Yeah I'm going to find out if we are supposed to be wearing the pyjamas underneath it Smiley tongue

    And yeah I'm going to buy / borrow a red umbrella to use for that purpose

    Good luck with your planning and let me know if you find out any more interesting chinese traditions Smiley smile Smiley smile

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  • Tiffany
    Frequent user September 2017 Ontario
    Tiffany ·
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    Hi Eartha,

    I've never heard of that before, I've seen photos of the bride the night before where they wear silk/satin red pajamas but I didn't think much about why. I might look into that.

    Oh speaking of red colored items. I just remembered that when my mom was picked up by my dad, she was escorted under a red umbrella for luck or something. I don't know if you would want to do that as well.

    I still have some time to think about what traditions I would want at my wedding and most likely consult my older cousins who've gotten married and get their input, we all grew up together anyways Smiley laugh

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Thanks so much Tiffany for your input and congratulations on your engagement!!

    We are both doing similar things. We wanted to forego the bringing gifts also so that we could watch our budget, however after talking to my parents; they feel that they still want to apply the tradition. However, they don't expect it in the grand level, it's more like they want to just do it because it is part of the tradition. So we will be doing it as per my parents' wishes.

    My fiance and I have already mvoed out together, so he and I will be going back to our respective parents home the night before the wedding so we will most likely perform some parts of the "combing ceremony".

    Out of curiosity, are you wearing some short of a red slip / red pyjama type outfit underneath your traditional chinese dress? Reason I ask is from the photos and videos I see where people are putting on the chinese traditional dress, they are already wearing something underneath. I'm not so sure what that is. Do you know?

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  • Tiffany
    Frequent user September 2017 Ontario
    Tiffany ·
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    Hi Eartha!

    Thank you for making this post! My fiance and I are Chinese (both Canadian-born, but still deeply rooted in Chinese heritage) and we've had the discussion about what Chinese traditions to do for our wedding.

    Similar to you, we are paying for our own wedding and we want to embrace some Chinese traditions, but we have agreed to only partake in the ones we understand and not to unnecessarily spend on traditions just because we have to. We have settled on the tea ceremony, wearing a traditional chinese dress during the tea ceremony, and door games for my fiance to pick me up. We decided to forego the groom bringing gifts to the bride's house as his parents already helped us with our house. That's already the biggest (and best) gift any future parents-in-law can give me!

    I know that there is a tradition for the bride before the night of the wedding where the brides hair is combed by an elder while she gives out wishes to the bride (If you ever watched Chinese dramas, you might know what i'm talking about). This is something I'm considering to do, and my mom had that for her wedding as well, except we aren't too sure the specifics of that "ceremony" shall we call it.. so we will be asking our elders. If we still don't understand, then I think it's something we will not do.

    I hope this helps. And congratulations on your wedding! Smiley smile

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  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·
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    Hey Eartha, I'm so happy you decided to talk about this! I couldn't wait for someone to break the ice on these wedding traditions! Smiley diamond From what I know about modern chinese weddings, I think you pretty much covered all the important things. The tea ceremony will be so much fun! Smiley love I created this discussion hoping that more brides with chinese traditions will join: Chinese Wedding Traditions I would really like to have your comments in there! I'm sure you could bring a lot to the discussion Smiley smile Are your parents also excited that you decided to follow these traditions?

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Thank you for your kind words Smiley smile

    And yeah you are right, it is definitely something to cherish.

    We just celebrated our anniversary last night and as we were celebrating, I was like omG this is the last anniversary we will be celebrating as boyfriend and girlfriend / the one anniversary we will be celebrated as fiances

    It definitely gives it a whole new meaning Smiley diamond Smiley cake Smiley ring

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  • Samtam
    VIP November 2016 British Columbia
    Samtam ·
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    Thanks Eartha! I TOTALLY remember that feeling! We were engaged for 2.5 years and the wedding just always seemed so far off in the distance that when it came down to the last 3-4 months it was like "omg it's real!" Make sure to have fun and enjoy these last few months being fiances and try to pace yourself so you're not staying up too late in the weeks before your wedding! So excited for you!

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Thank you Samtam!

    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on getting married and I hear that it was a great success Smiley smile Smiley smile

    These last few months will mostly fly by super fast... Basically it actually like just hit me maybe this month that this wedding is really happening... I know I'm engaged and all, but reality is just really starting to hit just now... My fiance and I can't believe it is happening so quickly. On the one hand, can't wait until our wedding day is here, yet on the other hand, we feel like we aren't fully ready JUST yet.... Smiley xd

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  • Samtam
    VIP November 2016 British Columbia
    Samtam ·
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    Wow Eartha that sounds so special! I love learning about traditions in other cultures and I think that that's so unique that you are blending the old and new traditions! I hope you enjoy these last few months of wedding planning and look forward to hearing more about your wedding! You got this! Smiley winking

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    You've got that right

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    No doubt at all! It is exciting even when it is stressful!

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    hahhaha no kidding

    but yes I am sure that the both of us will have our dream wedding **if not more** we've always pictured in our mind Smiley winking Smiley smile Smiley smile

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    LOL We aren't helping each other at all Smiley winking

    Don't worry- we will get though it!!

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Oh man, now that I'm reading your to do list, I realize there are still a ton I have yet to dooooo

    EECKKKK

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    You do have a lot done! It sounds like you are right on track! Smiley laugh ...at elast you have all the big things, so even if you do NOTHING else...you're getting married that day!

    My planning is going well- just under 200 days to go! We have our officiant, restaurant, venue (2 part day), ceremony location, my dress, Photographer, DJ, technically my cake (DIY!)

    But still need Dress for my MOH and the guys' suits, and to write the ceremony and vows, DIY the decorations, book a hotel (ecck! need to do that soon!), we need rings and transportation, hair and makeup...oh boy. I'm getting stressed thinking of it Smiley atonished

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Hahah yeah it is only 145 days away and the last time i remember really seeing the number on the counter was when it was still in the 250s+ LOL hahhah

    TIME FLIES BY SOO QUICKLY

    I've booked my venue, my photographer, my photobooth, my DJ, my officiant, my cake, got the bridesmaid dresses, booked hair and makeup for my bridesmaid, have all my dresses settled

    I feel like I've done a lot BUT seems like there are stilll sooo much to do

    How is your planning going?

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I totally understand the feeling! It feels like I JUST started planning my wedding...now it is only 7 months away!...yours is even closer :o

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
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    Thank you Melissa,

    As the day slowly creeps up, I am starting to freak out... But not freak out in a bad way, more like O.M.G. that it is sorta just around the corner; as we all know x'mas and new years pass by at the blink of the eye

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    WOW! That sounds like a busy day, but the games for your groom to pass through soun like fun, and I think the tradition of tea with your families to thank them ...very special!

    The two dresses will make for fun too! I hope you will share with us after your wedding tos ee how your day unfolds!

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  • Eartha
    Devoted April 2017 Ontario
    Eartha ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Melissa,

    So I know the basics of what we need to do; but I haven't been delving deep online yet about the chinese traditions as I've been concentrating more of the other aspects of the wedding Smiley tongue

    Basically the day starts off with the groom and groomsmen coming to the bride's home and going through a number of "tasks" / games that my bridesmaid will have set for them to "prove to be worthy" to come and "get" the bride. There's a "red pocket - money" that the groom and party needs to give to the bridesmaid before they are allowed to pass after the games.

    Then after all the fun and games, the groom picks up the bride from a bedroom and then they go downstairs to perform the tea ceremony.

    The tea ceremony is basically for the bride and groom to show respect to our families and relatives and elders by kneeling in front of them to thank them. In turn, they may choose to give us "red pockets" or gold or diamond gifts. This ceremony is first performed at the bride's family and then the groom, the bride, groomsmen and bridesmaid all head over to the groom's family to perform the same ceremony.

    With regards to dresses, I will be in my traditional chinese wedding dress in the morning for the tea ceremony; then switch into wedding dress for the wedding ceremony and beginning of wedding reception, then I will change briefly back into the chinese wedding dress and also perform another tea ceremony to those who did not make it to the brides / grooms' home, then lastly, change into wedding ball gown for the remaining part of the evening Smiley laugh

    Eartha Smiley diamond

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I can't offer any input Eartha, but I am so happy you are sharing this! I admire you wanting to follow traditions and put a modern spin on your wedding.

    Very interesting- I would love it if you shared more details- what is a tea ceremony? Does this mean you will have two dresses? Are there certain items your fiance will bring to your family (symbolic things).

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