Missing Rsvp's

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It totally is a lot easier. It just makes sense to me lol That's nice people have left nice notes on yours!

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I agree. I also find it's easier to keep track of people, their plus ones, food choices, etc. Someone's email might get lost in an inbox, or you might delete the text, etc. I like keeping mine too because so far lots of people wrote nice messages on them!

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That's a good idea. There were a handful of people on our guestlist that I don't have direct contact with so parents can help in that department.

Yeah I wanna be able to look back in however many years and see the people who came and just reminisce. I know we will have our guestbook but I want to have a keepsake of everything. Plus invitations aren't cheap!! lol

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Yeah it makes it very stressful when we also have full time jobs while planning a wedding lol. You still have some time so that's good. I hope you get a better response with yours!

I have my bridal shower this sunday and my entire family hadn't rsvp'd yet so I was contacting them today and they said they didn't know they had to lol I'm confused but that but I guess if you don't go to these sorts of things very often.

I guess I will just have to keep calling and then when the venue says times really up then it's out of my control.

Thanks for your advice!

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Oh really? That's good you ended up getting a response. I will have to try that. Thanks!

I think you are getting yourself all worked up over nothing. Just call the people and ask them. If you don’t get them leave them a message that unless they call you by the next day you will assume they aren’t coming.

Yes maybe it’s rude to you that they didn’t send the card back. But who knows why they didn’t. They may have many things going on in their life that you don’t know about, or they just forgot. Who knows.

Lice is too short. Just call them, get your number and move on. Guess what those cards you want to put in your book, you will never look at then again.

My FH and I asked our parents to follow up with those we haven’t heard from by the end of the week, and I did ask a few people by text if I was close to them. From what I can tell, a lot of people mailed their responses close to the deadline so perhaps there’s a few people who put it in the mail after your deadline? I definitely understand wanting the rsvp card.

Eee... This is my nightmare... Even just my bridal shower coming up, we asked for RSVP's (just a text or phone call to my sister)... people have had invites for almost 2 weeks, it's in 1 month, and not one single person has answered. The deadline is September 1st... so I'm not gonna let myself freak out...

My deadline for my wedding RSVPs will be December 31st... I'm super worried a large group of people will "forget" around the holidays, and I'll be spending New Year's Day making distressed hangover calls... haha. We have electronic RSVP though, so I'm hoping the "inconvenience" of mailing something makes more people respond quicker.

I would say call them. Badger them. Hound them. Your venue needs final numbers, and ignoring your deadline is rude, so nothing you could do at this point would be worse than what they are doing to you... unless you yell at them and ban them from the wedding... but I don't suggest doing that. Haha.

Send them another message to let them know they will be missed at your wedding. At this point, you have to assume they aren’t coming. This is what I did and a couple people did end up replying with their yes.

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That's true when you put it like that. Thanks

Technology is great (facebook, email, tweets, texts), but at this point, I think you'll need to call and ask them about it directly. I wouldn't worry about badgering them, as they probably don't care about the importance of having an answer before the deadline you gave.

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I understand in an ideal world, you'd have received all your RSVPs back on time without a single one missing...sadly, that isn't the world we live in. You likely won't get all of them back. Is it inconsiderate? Sure. Things happen though - it got lost or thrown out by accident (especially if kids are in the home), or it got lost in the mail (It happens). Etiquette wise, a phone call is the appropriate way to handle anyone who has not RSVP'd by the deadline.

Here's a great response to this question from Anna Post, the great great granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily post - /entry/wedding-rsvp-etiquette_n_****

I think her comments about checking your frustration is especially important - it comes across very clearly in your post; enough so that it made several of us think you were going to request people pay if they don't show up (which you cleared up).

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I am also keeping all of the RSVP's for my wedding box so I don't want to be missing any. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for their RSVP's.

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Well, it's a respect thing to send in a rsvp. I wouldn't make them pay but if I got a written yes then it is more likely they will come because if they just say yes verbally then it's possible they may not. I get they could also not come if they sent an RSVP but it only makes sense to send it in and I feel more comfortable giving our venue hard yes's.

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Yeah I really didn't expect this to be an issue when I began wedding planning. Hopefully they get them to you! I agree with you, I have started the seating chart but I know things will have to be moved around once I get the rest of them in.

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I was actually going to ask the same thing.

View quoted message I’m confused. What’s wrong with a verbal reply? People could send in the rsvp card and still not come. Why do you need proof?

You’re not planning on telling people who don’t show up they have to pay you are you?

Such a frustrating thing, our RSVP deadline was July 31st and I still had people 30 or so people who hadn't sent theirs in. I sent all of them a personal message asking them to do so, as I need to submit numbers to the. I still have 10 people (5 couples) that I am waiting on, 3 of them all had acceptable reasons for not having an answer yet, such as just having a baby and our wedding is far for them. But it would be nice to be able to get them all in so I can officially start working on my seating arrangements and chart.

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Sorry you are dealing with problem! It is frustrating. I'm at the point where if I get a response now that I will just say no because they knew the deadline and once that's up I think the bride and groom have every right to say no because we have to give our caterer and venue numbers.

I’m in the same boat with a few people, I’ve asked and they said they would let me know as soon as possible and I am still waiting. I don’t know how to handle it either, just frustrating!

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Yeah I just don't really want to accept a verbal yes because they could change their mind and I have no written proof that they said yes and then I'm out all that money. I just wish they would do the considerate thing by sending it in.

View quoted message Yeah I probably should. I am also the type of person that only calls people that I talk to on the daily and then the others I would rather not call. At this point I'm ready to say no for them and say sorry but you missed your chance. They should be more respectful of my deadline and timelines (venue's timeline not really even mine.)

Yeah I probably should. I am also the type of person that only calls people that I talk to on the daily and then the others I would rather not call. At this point I'm ready to say no for them and say sorry but you missed your chance. They should be more respectful of my deadline and timelines (venue's timeline not really even mine.)

You need to actually call and ask them if they are coming or not. Don’t wait for them to send in the card.

IMO - I would call them to let them know that you need to know and if they still can't give you a definitive answer then tell them that they are not welcome as you can't save spots for maybes. Talk to them. Don't use email, text, facebook or any type of screen like that. Old fashion call on the phone works the best even if people don't like talking on the phone. (I had a friend freak out on me in highschool when I called her at home rather than message her on her ipod touch....)