Kids: ok to invite some and not others?

Our wedding guest list is at 120 but Dave and I decided we are just doing family up to first cousins and no kids except his niece and nephew (who will play a part in our wedding).

Other than his sisters kids there aren't any others in our immediate families. If we invited our first cousins kids plus guests children we would have around 25 extra little guests and since 120 in our venue is tight, that would be 25 adults we would really like to be there that would have to come off the guest list to accommodate the children (our venue considers over 10 an adult at full price which most of these kids would be). As much as there are a few little ones I would like to have, with kids (especially of relatives) it was an all or nothing situation. Plus I kind of had a mental picture of a bunch of tweens and teens in the corners on phones the whole night.

And the fact that we were looking at paying $2000 for these children to eat an adult portion made it an easier decision - it has actually allowed us to afford an open bar. So far all of the people with children that we've let know it's adult only are actually excited about having a date night!

I know a no kid wedding definitely doesn't work for everyone by we are looking forward to having a super fun wedding with all those grown ups we love.

I had kids from my side of the family only which worked out great. If it was others, i would have considered to whom i would be close to for inviting.

View quoted message Hahahaha thank you!

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Holy crap ahhaha.... I dont have that many. Good luck!

I'm also having this dilemma! There are 19 grandchildren, 24 great grandchildren and 1 great great grandchild just on my mothers side alone. Another 10-15 kids on my fathers side. Theres only about 4 kids of them all that I'd actually want at my wedding and I'm not sure how to tell the rest of the family (whom Im close with) that their children cant come.

I am only inviting my FHs really close cousins that are kids but that is it. he is like a big brother to them. there are a lot of great grandchildren in my family and I'm not inviting them because for one thing there isn't enough room, and also i dont want to pay $12 for them to not eat anything.

Invite the kids you want. Unless people are offering to cover costs the decision is ultimately up to you on which kids you want there.

People will understand that weddings aren't cheap. My family is quite large with a lot of children. I have 1 niece and 5 nephews, who are all coming to the ceremony and reception but all other kids (cousins children etc..) will not be invited just because we have such a large group already (exception of infants who need their mothers).

It’s your day. People will understand that those kids specifically have special place with you and your FH. They should respect that

It is your call. Your day. I was going to have a kid free wedding but we are allowing an exception as my FSIL is pregnant and baby will be about 2 months old....when wedding day comes around, it is also 1st baby so we understand if she is not comfortable with babysitters yet. Even more so if baby is being breastfed then of course baby must be there.

Totally fine to invite the kids that you'd like to!

I think that’s totally fine. It’s your day, you do what you guys want to do. Our wedding, we have tons of kids coming but our family is at that stage where you sneeze and a kid pops out. Haha

We are only inviting children that are immediate family, we are not inviting extended family's kids. However, once alcohol and dancing starts most will be going home/back to the hotel, etc.

It's totally fine to only invite kids involved in your wedding. We did that and no one seemed to care. It's your wedding and you should do what makes you happy.

View quoted message Exactly, people will have to deal with whatever decision you make. It's your wedding and you want it a certain way so that's the final say!

Thanks for the advice ladies! We're just gonna go ahead and do it. people will live lols.

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YASSS be selfish for your own wedding totally allowed.

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Yeah fair, but I'd want these kiddos there if they were in the wedding or not (the other kids i dont really care if they come or not tbh lol...)

I think it's fine as they were involved in the wedding. Years ago, my brother was a ring bearer and he and the flower girl were invited to the reception. Because they were, they did invite me and the flower girl's sisters but we were the only children at the wedding.

We decided the no kids rule would apply right across the board. No exceptions. We aren’t a having a ring bearer or flower girl either.

We had this dilemma too. Originally we had my ex MOHs son as ring bearer alongside one of the groomsmen son, and that same groomsmens daughter as flower girl. But we didn't want children at the wedding. Plus our wedding is an hour drive for most people and we would have a children go home before 8 rule. So on the end we just decided no to ALL children. So we got rid of the ring bearers and flower girl. But we were 100% going to just invite those three children so I think it's fine if no other children go to your wedding.

Not at all. Generally children who are a part of the ceremony are exemptions to the no kids rule. My sister did this for her wedding and then grandparents came and picked the kids up after they had eaten dinner.

If people get upset I'm sure you won't hear about it (people generally don't have the guts to bring up something like that on your wedding day) until later. And then you can just say that you had your wedding exactly the way you wanted it! My mantra when I was planning was that I had no apologies to make or explanations to give when it came to the choices my husband and I made for our day and I would tell anyone who asked me just that! We did it exactly our way

We have the same situation, my little cousins are the ring bearers and flower girls. These are the only kids that are invited, and we made that very clear. If our guests get upset it wont be until the day of the wedding when they realize that their kids weren't invited. But they are a part of your wedding party so it is alright to only have them and no other kids.