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Curious July 2018 British Columbia

Kids at the reception yay or nay?

Melonie, on October 17, 2016 at 16:19 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 16

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Hello lovely brides!
Me and my fiancé are recently engaged and have set a low budget, in order to find a venue we have to have an estimate of guests, both of us do have larger families and many children.
My question is, do you invite kids? And how do you determine who comes? We have a 4 year old, who will be attending and his 2 nephews (4 and 2). Of course babies are allowed, but we aren't sure if we should be inviting cousins, friends kids etc between the ages of 3-15
Thank you!!

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Melonie, on October 20, 2016 at 13:25

Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 20, 2016 at 13:25
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Thank you!! Yes we're trying to find somewhere that can do both the ceremony and reception at the same place, a lot of our guests are from out of town so we think it'll be easier to have one location
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Featured Quebec
Emilie · On October 20, 2016 at 11:25
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You're welcome Melonie!! I'm glad you found our tips helpful!! Let us know on what you decide!

I can't wait to see what type of venue you'll choose! I'm sure it will look gorgeous and maybe ask how their prices work for kids. 30 minutes is definitely the right amount of time to hjave kids present at the ceremony!

Have you considered doing both reception and ceremony in the same location?
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VIP June 2017 Ontario
Melissa · On October 18, 2016 at 20:51
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We aren't inviting children to the reception (or ceremony) , just not the kind of celebration we want.
If you arelooking to reduce costs that is certainly a place to start, but as you mentioned you would like to have the kids around maybe look at buffet options that might balance out the cost of extra meals?
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VIP April 2017 Ontario
Valerie · On October 18, 2016 at 12:43
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You're welcome!

I just suggest to tread carefully with it though. Some people are very insulted by such a request, I sat my brother down and made sure it was ok and when I could see that it was fine I asked if they were having his in-laws pick my niece up after the ceremony was over. They said that would VERY likely be the case. So I talked out their plans more and said if the in-laws (who I’ve met on many occasions) didn’t want to just show up to get her and go that they could also come to the ceremony, but I didn’t want to insult them at all so if they thought that was rude or didn’t want to we could figure out something else. But thankfully they loved the idea and it is what they have decided to do. Not an ideal situation, but it seemed to work best for all parties.

My very drawn out point is to just know your crowd and be very careful in how you approach the topic, feelings can be easily hurt when it comes to inviting people/kids to the ceremony but not the reception and they can be fine with it at first and change their minds later. Weddings can be tricky like that
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Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 18, 2016 at 12:33
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Thank you valarie! That is a good idea, to have them join in on the ceremony still
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Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 18, 2016 at 12:29
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Thank you emilie!! I'll definitely have to look into those ideas and see, were planning "hoping" to only invite 150, if we include kids it jumps up to about 200, as much as we'd love for them all to join I guess it will depend which venue we go with I think we would have kids come to the ceremony, as we want to keep it under 30 mins
Thank you for your help!
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VIP April 2017 Ontario
Valerie · On October 18, 2016 at 08:50
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Hi Melonie! Welcome to the community!

I think if it's important to you, then you should try and make it work. That being said, we decided not to have kids at the reception, my niece will be the flower girl at our ceremony though. So I decided to just have a talk with my brother and asked if it was ok to have her be a part of the ceremony but if he was ok not having her at the reception... we was all for it (preferred it in fact because this way he can drink without worrying about her).

So I think the one thing to keep in mind is that it would be rude to pick and choose who can bring kids and who can’t, it would need to be a standard thing if you decide to have some kids (for example; your children and siblings children are ok, but no children of friends and extended family)

I won’t worry about offending people, I’ve found that most people are understanding
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Featured Quebec
Emilie · On October 18, 2016 at 07:43
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Hi Melonie Welcome to the community!

This is amazing! It's such a great discussion!! I'm so glad you're asking this question, because you're right it's super important to have an idea of this to get an approximate number of guests you can invite.

I think that also depends on how you want your reception to be and at what time. This might seem like a subtle detail, but if you're guests are planning to party all night, they might prefer to have their kids stay at home with a babysitter.

You should have a look at these discussions for ideas and examples:

5 types of dinner for your reception

Brunch, Lunch or Dinner Reception?

What type of reception do you want?

And would kids be invited to the ceremony? How long would the ceremony be?

I think these are all important elements to consider to decide if kids will be all invited to your wedding.

I understand where you're coming from when you say that some kids will be invited and wondering if you also invite your friends' kids and cousins'....

How many people would that be if they were to all come with their kids?

How many people would you like to invite to your wedding in total?

I can't wait to hear more about your wedding ideas!!
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Master August 2017 Manitoba
Simone · On October 18, 2016 at 07:41
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You are welcome, Melonie!
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Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 17, 2016 at 23:02
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Thank you lovely!
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Expert September 2017 Ontario
Nelly · On October 17, 2016 at 21:09
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We said yay, we're having 84 children at our wedding,
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Master August 2017 Manitoba
Simone · On October 17, 2016 at 19:56
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Hi Melonie, I completely understand with prices, it can be hard to make such a decisionn. It you are not able to have kids in your budget, then hopefully your guest will be understanding. I support whatever decision you make!
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Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 17, 2016 at 18:42
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Hi Simone! I love kids and would love to have them, it's just the price, and not wanting to offend haha I think if we did have kids we'd have them sit with their parents, But have activities available for them, we have such an age variety that it would be hard to have them at their own table I think
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Master August 2017 Manitoba
Simone · On October 17, 2016 at 18:34
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I say Yay, because I love kids and although I set a budget I did factor in the children. Some parents may feel very offended if they are told that their children cannot attend. I understand the age factor part which can be a challenge. If you were to invite children to the reception, would you have a kids table or have them sit with their parents?
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Curious July 2018 British Columbia
Melonie · On October 17, 2016 at 17:13
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Thank you terry!
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Frequent user May 2017 Quebec
Terry · On October 17, 2016 at 17:08
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I say Yay! But to be honest just because I think that if I say no kids nobody will come. And also I feel bad having my kids there but not allow other couples to bring there children. I saw invite the kids that are close to you guys .
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