Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Kathlyn
Beginner May 2019 Ontario

Inviting etiquette

Kathlyn, on March 23, 2018 at 16:14 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
Saved
Reply
* I feel like I’m asking such stupid/unreasonable questions


Anyways, I have an ok budget that I can deal with and I know often people say if you have a jack and Jill cause you don’t have enough for a wedding, then don’t get married but I do have a decent amount saved up which is reasonable.



So my question is can I have a jack and Jill with friends as a celebration of our engagement ? And am I obliged to invite them to the wedding IF the wedding is a small intimate backyard wedding ?

Do do I have to reason with them and explain we’re having this double party because we can’t invite everyone for the actual wedding.

We asked a few of our close friends to buy tickets and we’re ok with it but if anything, we may not charge and just tell them there are money games and raffles :/

is is this appropriate ? Any thoughts

12 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on March 29, 2018 at 19:26
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Jack and jills are to help you the couple raise money for the wedding. Our friends threw us a buck and buck with money games and raffles. Some guests you invite won't be at the wedding itself.
    • Reply
  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    You can still do a stag and doe and it could help with the honey moon or anything that comes up last second! Either way it’s money to help the couple. Anyone who comes to the stag is to help and support couple, sometimes the couple doesn’t know all people and even the people who do know aren’t always invited. A lot of my friends came to support my sisters and they weren’t invited
    • Reply
  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Half of the people that came to our stag and doe are not invited to our wedding. You don't have to tell them anything but if they do ask just say you're trying to keep your wedding intimate.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    If it's more of an engagement party then they will probably expect a invitation. But if it is more just a jack and Jill where they are paying then they probably won't expect an invitation. It may confuse people if you advertise it as both. You definitely don't have to reason with anyone for not inviting them, you're not obligated to invite everyone from a Jack and Jill to the wedding so I wouldn't worry. Just don't play it off as ab engagement party as much and hopefully people will understand.
    • Reply
  • Kathlyn
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Kathlyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    So steph,

    my idea was to have a seperate invitation as an engagement shower for some of the family that wouldn’t be invited to the wedding but notifying them there’s raffles and such because like I said I don’t want them to think they weren’t good enough for the wedding ...

    and friends and ‘everyone else’ would have the jack and Jill tickets. That should be appropriate right ?
    • Reply
  • Kathlyn
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Kathlyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Lol both our cultures don’t actually even know what jack and Jill’s are. To our parents it’s a ‘Canadian’ thinf
    • Reply
  • Kathlyn
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Kathlyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Haha ya with me, I’m filipino and we have a large 18th debutante ball/biethday and I had 350 guests... for our wedding our budget is 150... and my fiancée isn’t too big on inviting so many people so ya lol
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    My friend wanted to have a buck and doe as more of an engagement celebration. They still called it a buck and doe and we sold tickets. We had a pig roast and didn't charge for supper. But, we did charge for the games and the raffle. Buck and does are different in that you can invite people to it that aren't invited to the wedding (don't know why, but it has become acceptable). Typically, the wedding party will sell the tickets. I don't think you need an explanation; Buck and does (stag and doe/jack and jills) have become pretty common in Ontario and anyone can buy tickets and attend; people don't expect an invite to the wedding when they buy a ticket to the jack and jill.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I’ve never been to a jack and Jill we don’t really do them where I’m from but I would say that if you’re inviting someone to it I would assume they’re also invited to the wedding? It is your wedding though ultimately you can do whatever you want!
    • Reply
  • Lindsay
    Curious June 2019 Ontario
    Lindsay ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    We expect there to be 200 people at our jack and jill and not everyone will be invited to the wedding, probably 35% of them will not be invited to the wedding. And the only reason the other 65% will be is because my fiance has a really big family and our guest list is 130 lol!

    • Reply
  • Kathlyn
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Kathlyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hey Lindsay,

    but are you inviting everyone to the wedding ? Lol or it’s more of a town party? Lol
    • Reply
  • Lindsay
    Curious June 2019 Ontario
    Lindsay ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Now a days, I believe everyone has a Jack and Jill before their wedding.


    I will definitely be having a Jack and Jill, but I am from a very small town and pretty much everyone in the town goes to everyone's Jack and Jill because its an excuse to get out and have fun in a town that has no night life, and all those people will not be invited to my wedding.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

How to Create the Perfect Wedding Invitations for Your Big Day
Invitations & Stationery How to Create the Perfect Wedding Invitations for Your Big... Don’t know where to start when it comes to your wedding invitations? We’ve made...
20 Winter Wedding Invitation Ideas You’ll Fall in Love With
Invitations & Stationery 20 Winter Wedding Invitation Ideas You’ll Fall in Love With Hosting your wedding in one of the colder months? Here are some of our favourite...
Read more articles

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire Article Topics