How late is too late?

Hi, Charmaine!
Best thing you can do is go with your gut. Late is relative - it's probably a good idea to give people at least 2 months notice, but every circumstance is different. We sent out Save-the-Dates through Weddingwire 6 months before our August wedding, figuring that probably about 75% of the 275 we invited would come (we both have big families and a pretty sizeable church family!). Because we included an RSVP with the save the date, most people responded to let us know they were or were not planning on attending, so that made it easier to have an idea if we could invite others that we want to be there, but didn't include on the initial list just because things were getting out of hand. Now that we're at the 3-month mark, we're sending out the official invite, including a few additions thanks to the advance-notice cancellations. People who couldn't come were happy to be invited, and those who are being invited now don't feel like an afterthought! All that to say, there's always a way to get to you end goal - having a beautiful wedding day surrounded by the people that will celebrate you both! God speed!

I think sending invites any closer then a couple of months would be rude. People would know they were an after thought. If you wanted to invite other people and have a B list then you should have a rsvp well in advance of the wedding (say 2 1/2 months out). Think about it from the guests perspective how would you feel if you got an invite 6 weeks or less before. I’d feel like I was only being invited to fill a chair or for a present.

Like Breanne, instead of having a second list, we chose to over-invite, knowing full well that not everyone would come. We have lots of cousins that we barely ever see, but that we couldn't not invite since we were inviting all other cousins. And our chosen location is quite a distance away for most people, so we know that some people who aren't quite that close to us won't come either.

So in the end we invited 127 people hoping to have under 100 coming. The people who have answered so far mostly did so the way we thought they would, the only exception being my fiancé's grandfather, who we did not expect to come (he'll be 95, and didn't come to the last wedding that was approximately the same distance), but we're certainly not complaining!

We didn't have 2 lists anyone that was still a "maybe" by the time it came to sending our invites out we took off. In my opinion if they are a maybe it was us inviting them out of obligation, not because we wanted to.

If you are to send out I would send them out soon, not later than 3 months in advance to give time for ppl to plan.

Second thoughts invites were personally given to to one of the bridal party parents only and 1 unneeded guest which my husband went against my wishes. Second lists wouldn't be good as a back up.

Send them out now or not consider it as an after thought.

I would say no less than three months to invite someone else. I think anything less than that would make the person feel like an afterthought.

We didn't have two lists. But what did end up happening was there were people who came into our lives after we had already sent the invites out that we wanted to be a part of the wedding but we had already almost maxed out our budget. I ended up inviting them to the reception (after the dinner) after talking with them about the logistics of it all and they were fine with it.

Other than this I agree with everyone else - invite initially everyone you want to invite expecting a few cancellations - also expect the possibility that everyone may show up so you may need to plan for everyone to be there.

Doing much googling for my own wedding, I learned that any invitation sent/received later with less that 6 weeks before the wedding is rude and with the understanding that they were a 'pity' invite or something like that. I agree with Ludvis below, having a second list is rude and if they didn't make it to the first list then they shouldn't be invited.

People need to prepare to be a guest at a wedding and so short notice would just make them resent you or not show up altogether.

Rather than have a second list we over-invited. Hoping to end up around 120 we invited 133 (note: we mentally & financially prepared ourselves to pay for the extra dinners). We just sent out the invites (we had sent out save-the-dates in February) and so far have 6 no's so it looks like we're likely going to end up around our goal *fingers crossed*.

I would say receiving an invite any later than 3 months, people are likely to know that they were a second choice.

I wouldn’t personally have a second list. If they weren’t important enough to make the 1st list then that’s that. I think it’s rude to have that, that’s telling someone they were only good enough to make the wedding invite based off of another person being unavailable. All wedding invites should be sent out at same time with short period to rsvp because people will forget. I don’t think less than 2 months is appropriate for a wedding. They might have to book accommodation, then have to give to a gift and probably need a new outfit and not everyone can just save up that money in a short period of time.

We didn't have a second list so when someone said no that was it.

I would say that you should give people at least a couple of months to make the decision and plans to attend your wedding.

We were hopefully going to do the same thing. Our date is in November, so we've already sent out international invites. We're sending out the rest in July and Will send out the phase 2 people in September if we have the room
So for you I would send out round one in the next couple weeks, and keep sending invites until the first week of August.