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Jade
Newbie June 2019 Newfoundland and Labrador

Help! Struggling to choose bridesmaids

Jade, on September 2, 2018 at 20:37 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 8
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Hey everyone,
I'm really having a hard time choosing who I want as my bridesmaids. My partner has 6 or 7 guys he wants to be his groomsmen. The problem is that I only have 2 close female friends. I have female friends who I was close with in high school but we haven't talked much in several years. I also have 2 close male friends and 2 male family members who I might consider asking, but I'm worried that having twice as many guys as girls on my side.
I dont have any sisters or female cousins. My partner has a sister who's 15 years older than me and lives away. We aren't close. I also have two step sisters that I'm not very close to.
I basically see myself having 3 categories of people I could ask to make the numbers closer to equal: female family, high school friends, or males.
Which seems like the best option? Have you ever had sisters who weren't close to you in your party? What about old high school friends?
Would it be totally weird to have only 2 bridesmaids if hes having 6 or 7 groomsmen?
Please help!!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on September 5, 2018 at 19:00
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    I have 3 bridesmaids. My fiance has 7 groomsmen. Yes. It is weird. No, you don't need to worry about it.

    By weird, I mean that it's not the norm... but who cares? I'm fully aware it looks funny, but I'm not about to ask people who I never considered having in my bridal party to participate just to "even the numbers". Also, asking my fiance to remove groomsmen is unfair, and having his friends stand with him is very important to his special day.

    I say keep it uneven. Don't worry about it, and if someone says something, tell them it's none of their beeswax.

    *Go team super-uneven-bridal-parties!!*

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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    I totally agree with Stephanie. Invite who is closest to you and if you have more male friends than females that doesn’t matter. For me I know my high school best friend we could stop talking for a long time and we pick up like it was yesterday. So maybe just test the waters and see what those friendships are like if you think you might like them there.

    I am also looking at having a groomsmaid if he can make it. He’s my good friend from the states and so we aren’t sure if he will make it yet. If he does my side will have one extra person so that’s not a very big deal for us.
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    I would recommend choosing those who are closest to you. I don't believe in asking people just to have even numbers. You should ask people you are excited to share your day with! People who have been instrumental in your relationship. There is nothing wrong with having 2 girls and 4 guys on your side. There is also nothing wrong with having 2 people on your side and 6 on your fiances side.

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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    Personally, I wouldn't ask an old friend/acquaintance/friend-of-a-friend to be in my bridal party just for the sake of having an even number.

    I was a bridesmaid in my ex-bf's brother's wedding and a month later, we broke up. I feel awful about it because I'll forever be in those pictures, even though my ex is now married with children and I do not speak to any of them.

    I wouldn't wish that on any bride.

    Instead of filling the gap, I'd either: 1) just roll with it and embrace the idea of having extra dudes around : 2 guys walking down with 1 girl?! 2) ask my FH to cut down the number of groomsmen, but offer his buddies other important tasks in the wedding ceremony and/or reception. 3) Forgo the idea of a wedding party altogether!

    My FH and I opted to go with the 3rd option, asking our best friends to be our witnesses instead!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I'm all about even numbers but just make sure you are okay with asking these others to be apart of your big day. If I was in your shoes - which I almost was - then I would go and ask any serious girlfriends of your FH's groomsmen and ask friends from high school that played a big part in how you got to be the person you are now. As long as they were a great friend at one point I would have no problem coming to be a bridesmaid for my high school besties.

    And yes - I asked a girlfriend of one of the 2 bestmen to be a bridesmaid. Just have to get to know her a bit more and go on some double dates Smiley tongue

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  • Emily
    Devoted February 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    I am super picky with numbers and balance, so I’ve personally been trying to even out our numbers as much as possible. I’m in a similar situation, he has a lot more people than me, including both his and my brother! But it is your day, so if you are comfortable with uneven numbers, definitely do that, and definitely ask your male friends! But don’t feel obligated to ask people that you are only somewhat close too - these are the people you can’t imagine your life without Smiley smile

    I also asked the best man’s serious girlfriend, who was present during our engagement to be a bridesmaid, to help even things out a bit! I hope this helps Smiley smile
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    You also don't need to have an even number on each side. So if you have your two close females and two close males and he has his 6/7 that's okay too.
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    You don't need females. You just need people who you love and care about that you couldn't imagine not having with you on your special day! So if you have more guys than girls it's not a big deal at all. They are the ones you want to be with you 😊
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