Guest list is growing past our budget

I think if you do a wedding out of town that brings your list down too. Not everyone is willing to pay for a night at a hotel to go to a wedding. My list is only 50 because of that. I'm from Brasil and my fiance is from another part of Ontario than where we currently live. We know only the people that are really close will be attending so we just a list of those people. If you really don't talk to a person on a regular basis or even once a month, you should really think before paying 100 dolars for her/him to attend your wedding and people usually understand that.

However if you really can't get your list shorter, maybe just do a simple cake and punch like suggested before. It's still a nice way to celebrate your union and share with all your family.

I'm not sure yet. it is more of a net veil than a lace or tulle but I would like to see if I can make it work as my veil but I definitely want to make it work.

Are you planning a traditional wedding? If not, consider something like we're doing - renting a small conference centre that is $1500, no dinner, cocktail ceremony/reception starting at 7 pm, DIY finger foods only (we're doing charcutrie/cheese boards, candy bar, cupcakes, late night nacho bar) - no catering, no bridal party, E-invites, etc. We are springing for an open bar though.

That said, you could easily have a wedding this way for under $5,000 for 100 people without open bar. Ours is only close to $10,000 because $6,000 is essentially open bar.

I read a good post once that said to make 2 lists. First list are people you HAVE to invite and the second list are people you would LIKE to invite. You send out invitations to list 1 a month or two ahead of time then usual. As you get back declined invitations you begin to send out your list 2 invites. No one will know they were second thought and you keep in guest range.

Incorporating the veil would be amazing!!!

That's so sweet that the veil is passed around the family! Are you going to use it as your veil or alter it into something new?

I would have loved to have altered my mom's dress but she is 8 inches shorter than I am and when she got married she had just completed treatment for TB and I think pneumonia and weighed about 100 pounds dripping wet holding something. I am more fluffy. I do have her veil which was also her sisters so I am thinking about incorporating that somehow.

Hey T! That's so awesome! I'm so glad to hear everyone's ideas have inspired you to do so much! That sounds amazing! I'm sure everything will go perfectly! What's next on your list? Have you started dress shopping?

that makes me so happy!

And reading a bit further it sounds like your plan is on track! Good for you I love when we are able to help each other out!

Oh that's great! I've seen a lot of discussion around not serving dinner. But I love the gathering idea and people not getting super tipsy. Have conversions and enjoy everyone's company. Play games etc..That's similar to what we want as well. I'm sure it will be amazing what ever you end up doing

Fabulous! And that's how it should be!

Thank you, the difference in stress from last night and tonight is so so much better. I even feel more comfortable with being at home rather than at a venue.

So glad you came to a great solution!!!! I think an open house idea is love! You'll get to enjoy everyone's company through the day!
Congratulations! Great idea!

After listening to everyone and researching the reception cost at the cheapest venue that I liked, I decided it was too much. I found a place to have the ceremony that is nice, affordable and can host up to 150 people. So I can invite anyone and everyone to the wedding. Now I have to decide on how to use my dads place to host one or two "wedding gettogethers" which will NOT be the expected reception with dancing. We will have food and chairs, there will only be a few sit-at tables, and reception type games etc.

Once I made the decision to not have a venue reception, I easily picked a location for the ceremony and am at more peace with the at-home costs.

I might even plan an EARLY party in the morning, then everyone gets ready and we all attend the wedding. The people who attended the EARLY part can go home and everyone else can come home to the LATE party. That way not everyone is on the property at once.

I'm in the same dilemma!! I have 74 family members just on my side. 55 on Justin's. and then there are friends 😬 I hope you are able to come to an answer.

Great! I'm glad you are figuring out a better solution for you and you aren't as stressed about it all

That's great!!!! Glad you are getting some ideas that would work !!!!!
Oh the other thing I read about recently is floral sharing. If you get married a day before or after another couple, at the same venue, the venue can help you contact the other bride and groom and arrange for both of you to split the floral bill and use the flowers for both weddings. I think it's an awesome idea!

I love everyone's ideas, it reminded me of what I had wanted 10 years ago when single and hoping. I wanted a small wedding and then several receptions on different days for the different family branches (some are not super friendly). I think I can see a better direction to head in than the standard wedding day. Thank you, my stress level has decreased already!

I have an enormous family, so I can releate to the out of control guest list. I found it hard to cut people- but a smaller guest list is fastest way to reel in a budget crisis.

I know that some people will be disappointed not to be invited, but most people are understanding that hosting a big event like a wedding is costly! I would much rather host a nice party for a core group of my nearest and dearest than host a pretty OK party for a larger group.

I agree with others that you should be careful counting on gifts to pay for things, and you should avoid debt. I can't say much, because I am taking on some debt as well- but do so only if you have a good plan in place to get that paid FAST!

I think the open house idea could be really great, or even hiring a food truck to come to your reception (saves you a lot of work!).

My biggest cost savers have been buying gently used items, and looking for sales, coupons and....cutting the guest list I wish you lots of luck, because it is really hard, but don't let your wedding cause you to start your married life off with stressful debt! Your extended family should understand!

Hi T! Welcome to the community! Wow! You have such a big family! I can understand why you would feel concerned to go over budget... You could take a look at these ideas from other brides:

How are you paying for your wedding?

Cocktail reception invitations

You could also organize another small event to celebrate with your cousins before the wedding so they don't feel excluded: engagement party, bridal shower, ... What do you think? Could that be an option?

I really like this idea Joanne!

HAHA that's what I said to my mom when she was upset that she "perserved her dress for nothing"

Great ideas Valerie! As usual. Love the idea of Altering moms old wedding dress. I gave up that idea long ago when she did save for me and her waist was the size of my thigh! Lol

Great idea on the open house.

I fully agree with Lisa, please do not put yourself in debt over your wedding! It will end up costing you SO MUCH MORE in the long run with that high interest! Also, have the wedding you can afford now, don't depend on more you MIGHT receive as gifts to pay for things. Because you may not get as much as you expect and then you are stuck paying what you can't afford.

And Joanne has a nice idea, but with an open house you should have food out all day (and enough for when even the last guest decides to pass through), and that food must be kept at the proper temperature throughout that entire time. It's a lot to look after and you risk serious food poisoning if not done correctly. And who wants their wedding to be "that wedding where we all got food poisoning" and talked about for years.

You can still have a lovely wedding for a very reasonable budget. You have a few options; 1. cut the guest list. It's the absolute hardest part of any wedding because unfortunately someone is ALWAYS going to be "left out". But we throw the weddings we can afford to, and that just might mean we simply can't afford anyone but close family sometimes.

2. If you absolutely can't cut the guest list, cake and punch receptions are a wonderful alternative! You can have your wedding at about 1pm, it lasts for 20 mins, and then until about 3pm or 4pm, you can host everyone with some cake and light snacks (finger foods, small sandwiches, cheese and crackers, etc) and have beer, wine and champagne.

Also, look at second hand shops or see if you can alter your moms wedding dress. Keep decorations very simple and limited. And make what you can.

I like all the suggestions above but you could also do immediate family only for the ceremony and open house style for the reception if you're having it at home. People will flow through your house throughout the day instead of all arriving at once and looking for a sit down meal. This will also allow you to keep the menu more casual.

Creeping invite lists can be brutal! I had to cut mine from 300 to 225 and I found it painful First, credit card debt is the worst! If you go that route you are automatically losing when you are paying high interest rates. I can't stress enough..DO NOT GO INTO DEBT BECAUSE OF YOUR WEDDING!