Groom involvement?

He emailed a lot of vendors when we were in the beginning stages of planning. The venues and djs. Just to check if they were available and what they had for wedding packages. He did research for those too. He came with me to the initial meeting for our decor. We went to the place designing our save the dates and invites too. We decided to set aside one day per week where we would do wedding stuff together.

We have done a lot of things together. He told me he didn’t care and when I asked him what he thought and he would give his opinion. He said he didn’t care but he really does on the inside.

FH pretty much asked to be in charge of any food related planning which I want surprised. Other than that he told me I'm in charge.
But I'll be asking him to take care of his and his groomsmen attire and accommodation for out of town relatives.

I asked my FH to download the wedding wire app and eventually I’ll start asking him to do things on our task list. I mean for me I know that I’ve been thinking what my wedding would be like since I was like 6 so I have lots to go on and I don’t think it’s the same for him.

I did decide that we need to have a chore list because we live together already and the house needs to be taken care of more. We now can both be accountable for the chores we say we are going to do. I guess I’ll start a similar list for the wedding so we can share the tasks.

My FH has put together all of the stuff on the computer, such as the spreadsheet of who's invited, what they have RSVP'd, what meal they chose, etc.

I asked my fiancé which parts about the wedding were most important to him and made him start the research for it .
He cared a lot about music so he's taking care of DJ/band (at least I hope) and he puts in his input for vendors and venues all the time. And when I randomly get too busy I just give him tasks like calling / emailing people , researching prices etc mostly I try to give him the jobs that are fast and wouldn't take long for him to do. But he's really amazing in wanting to have a say in all of it since it's his wedding too and he wants it to be a positives experience for everyone. He does get stressed with the wedding stuff easily so I made him fully in charge of apartment and told him I trust him (bad move?)

My FH wanted to be involved in every possible way but at the same time its taken him along time to focus on the tasks at hand and not frown everytime I mention the word wedding. Sometimes I wish he was a little less involved in all honesty. He handles the checkbook for the most part.

I put my husband in charge of all the groomsman stuff (obviously), as well as getting addresses from all the guests from his side and following up with those guests after our RSVP date!

I also put him in charge of doing the initial research for bands for our reception, and relied on him a lot once I had things narrowed down to 2-3 options and needed another opinion!!

My husband was pretty involved from the get go. If I really wanted him to pay attention to something or do something I would simply ask him or tell him.

Overall I've been doing the wedding planning but I don't mind as I really enjoy it.
He's given his opinion on all our vendors that I wanted to use and is great for listening. He did the groomsmen suits and planned his bachelor party but that's it haha.

He is basically planning our entire honeymoon though so it evens out.

I asked mine to help me select the catering menu, chip in for the catering cost & order a few things from Amazon (ie place card holders).

I just asked questions. At first he didn’t have much input then I told him something I picked (it was hideous (obviously wasn’t actually going to pick it just wanted to see how much he cared lol)) and all the sudden he wanted jumped right in. I also said to him “this is OUR wedding, not my wedding so your input is just as important and I would like this to be a process for both of us” he jumped right in! I also don’t think men understand how far in advance you have to start planning/how much work goes into it!

I have been the one doing the research so far as I've been getting excited, but he's right there with me. I think you just have to find out what he would like to help with and what his strengths are.

I had my fiancé decide on his suits, some song choices, gifts for his wedding party and his mom, and asked him to help decide on the centrepieces and write his vows. That’s pretty much all he has to do

Put him in charge of the groom-side stuff.

- Where will he/his crew be getting ready the day of?

- Where will he be staying the night before?

- How will they be getting to the ceremony?

- Presents for the groomsmen?

- Song for the mother/son dance?

We have wood rounds so he sanded them and also is involved with the orders of the kilt sets for the gents. Along with choosing the gents and ushers gifts. Some of the music for.the reception.

View quoted message That totally makes sense! Maybe give him a task to do. Something he could get excited about. My fiancé loved doing the website and picking what his groomsmen would wear and help me with the colours. I find that works best.

View quoted message Yes Lashaina, that’s what I want, but for the most part it’s me who is doing all the research and presenting him with options. I guess what I wish for is for both of us to do some research and then we discuss and decide what we want together.

View quoted message I know what you mean Meghan about the invitation list we were working on our list and my fiancé was like after the second time of editing our list that he would want to have 10 spots for friends and I had to keep asking for the names.

My fiancé wants to be involved so we’ve gone to all the appointments together and anytime I have an idea we talk about it together before making the decision but he hasn’t done much on his own, which is ok with me! At the beginning I asked him to do up his guest list and he was making changes on it for months. I was actually addressing the envelopes and he had no idea who he had invited. Actually started to get a little angry with me because some of his friends weren’t invited! I invited our mutual friends but how am I supposed to know to invite some of his old friends from home that I’ve never even met! Haha

View quoted message Ohh then unfortunately I have no advice there. We are doing everything together except my dress, bridesmaid dressed and his suit and groomsmen suits.

My fiancé and I share all duties. We keep one another involved in everything. We don’t like the idea of one person taking on everything so we try and help out where we can together and divided up other task. For example, he made the website and the save the dates. I took care of the centrepieces and the flowers. But he was still there with me at the florist and helped me finalize my thoughts on the centerpieces. Both of us being involved really helps. We both feel supported and that it is both of our weddings.

I wish I had advice but mine is only useful (in regards to planning) when I present him with options and go from there. I’m the more creative out of the two of us and genuinely interested in this while he’s always been more passive.

So have I April, I’m just wanting to find ways to get him more involved. I have so far done 20% of the planning. He did help do some research for the photographer, but essentially threw a shot in the dark and got lucky.

I asked my fiancé to email the DJ and he only sent it to me and I was waiting for 4 days for the response . Haha needless to say, I have done most of the planning hah.

My fiancé created our website. He's not artsy so he probably won't help me with the centrepieces which is basically the only decor we have to make. He came with me to any wedding-related stuff (except dress shopping!) He is also booking the honeymoon.

Yes, and he would, but I want some things he can do himself or more independently

My fiance and I have been doing everything together, mostly. I do most of the research and setting up appointments but he comes with me to everything, asks questions and what not. He wants to be as involved as possible. Just ask him to join you on some appointments and whatnot.