flower girl or no flower girl

I am not having a flower girl or ring bearer in my ceremony. we do have age appropriate children in the family. but we choose not to use them. And to be honest I could not be happier to not have that stress about the day.

No flower girl or ring bearer for us. Mainly because we don't have any age appropriate kids that are close to us. No need to fill the role just because so we opted out. If we had nieces or nephews around that age though, i would have put them in. I think it's adorable, even if they mess it up and don't do their job. Kids. P.S. irony is i'm not inviting kids to my wedding... just my nephews who are all over 10 years old. We have no nieces.

View quoted message All kids develop differently and Alexa isn't the easiest name for kids to pronounce; that being said, I think the parents should have put in a little more effort to teach her.
Don't let them assume because it could create some friction.

View quoted message I think so too. Hence why we are leaning on not having a flower girl. I think his family might already assume she might be a flower girl since she is our only option. That's true , just is annoying, because she doesn't even know how to call me Alexa at all, and they only started trying to get her to say my name a few months ago.

We didn't have a flower girl for our wedding. I think she will be a little young and if she is that dependent on her mum then it may end up being a disaster.

I don't think you should be offended that she doesn't call you auntie Alexa. My nephews (from my sisters-in-law) only started calling me auntie once my husband and I were married and we had been together over 5 years at that point.

I completely understand this !! I dont think its very fair of them that it took that long for you to be called Auntie .. Especially the amount of time you were with your FH ! Keep your head up , you can do this hunny !

I’m having both the ring bearer and flower girl although my fiancé doesn’t want us to. The ring bearer with be 4 yrs old and he’s not shy. So I think he will be a good fit. And the flower girl will be my daughters step daughter and she will be 5 yrs old. So I think she will be old enough and she can be shy but warms up after about an hour. So hopefully by time we get married she will be over that stage.
I don’t think it’s necessary to have them, so don’t feel like you should do it. It’s your day and you need it to be drama free.

I didn’t want any flower girl or ring bearer but when my nephew was born I new I wanted him. But I wasn’t sure if I wanted my FH niece. But in the end I’m having both of them.

My FH and I decided to forgo flower girls and ring bearers for this reason. My niece is amazing and we love her beyond compare, but we would have to include his godson for fairness and that would just be awful for the poor kid. He is so shy and afraid of many adults, but his mother would lose her mind if we didn’t. So We’re having the kids visit us when we’re getting ready so we can have some moments with them, but avoid the issue.

Go with what’s best for the kids. As long as your FH doesn’t have an issue with her not being in that roll, then express how you’re worried she may be uncomfortable.

We have a similar issue! We were thinking about getting our niece (who will be almost 3 at the time of our wedding) to be the flower girl, but I think we're leaning against it. She's shy in front of big crowds and new people and very dependent on her parents (the father's the best man too) so it would make it really hard to have her as the flower girl. Option instead for my first cousins (aged 13 & 8) as they are older and not so shy in front of a crowd.

I think it's nice to be able to include family when possible, but not necessary. Have you already asked her? If not, I would lean towards not asking her. I think 3 is a little young, especially if she still clings to her mom.