fh to plan Honeymoon

I don't think you're being selfish. Most women enjoy romantic surprises.

I completely understand why you want a break from planning.

Traditionally, grooms are responsible for planning honeymoons.

I don't know if you're interested in following time worn etiquette rules though.

Fh has great ideas and wants to know what you want yet surprise you in his way. I do agree with the qustions we ask our other halfs about details we pay attention to wedding wise. I was planning the wedding for the most part while husband didn't save anything for the honeymoon.

I think he just wants to have you choose a place together. Like a nice thing. I like the surprise idea, but it can't be forced either. My FH was less than motivated to do any wedding planning, so I've been giving him little specific tasks to do for me, like research and pick 3 DJs and we'll choose one together, or buy stamps for our invitations, or ask certain people for their addresses.

This way he's still involved, while not being overwhelmed. Maybe with your honey moon you can choose three places for him to choose from and he does the work from there. That way it's still a partial surprise as well. I find mine is happy to help if he has a little guidance

View quoted message Similar here. I'm planning the wedding and he's working our the details of a mini moon at a airbnb and honeymoon somewhere warm.

Sounds like a nice touch but keep in mind that some guys aren't good at planning. Also these events stress them out easily. You seem to be giving him a lot of resources and help so you're doing good. He should be able to plan the honeymoon and communicate about how he feels and such.

I’m letting my fiancé plan our honeymoon! I like surprises and he had always said the wedding was for me, the honeymoon was for him. So, he agreed to plan it. Now, we’ve decided to take a mini-moon instead somewhere in Canada and go to a tropical destination in the winter. So, he agreed to plan both of those.

I would totally let my FH plan our honeymoon! He likes to plan trips and find deals and whatnot, so he's literally been the one to plan every trip we've gone on over the past 8.5 years lol

I agree with the other girls. It sounds like he wants to make sure it is perfect, so he wants to ask you questions to make sure he's getting it right. I think it is fair to ask him to plan it, but don't be too disappointed if he checks with you on some details, as it sounds like he is thinking about it and working through some things to get everything right.

My fiance and I both sat down to plan our honeymoon, but we've known even before we got engaged where we wanted to go, so it was more simple for us.

I was pretty lucky with my husband as he helped me plan everything - the wedding and the honeymoon. I think he just doesn't want you to be disappointed or feel like he failed. It's also a big deal since, as you said, you have never been anywhere before so he may feel some extra pressure. I really enjoyed planning the honeymoon together so we could both get excited about it! Since I am type A, there is no way that my husband could have gotten away with not telling me where we were going lol.

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See that's why i want him to plan it though. So i can enjoy it lol I normally would care, but in this case i don't and want to take the moments to enjoy the little things the same way he would. Normally i do spend more time caring about the small details and do get annoyed... but for this i want the freedom to relax and enjoy it like he would.

For example he asked about flying vs. driving and having a car. I told him depending on where, like Nevada or a coast, having a car would be ideal, however if its a city we would visit, having a car isn't such a big deal cause we can take the transit, walk, tours, and not care about parking, charges etc. The fun is to explore so if we take transit, why not. Lets walk everywhere

I feel like im providing sufficient support without planning it FOR us.

Thank you for your feedback

I get wanting him to do it all himself and only have you give a little input but at the same time he probably just doesn't want to screw it up where you hate everything that he has planned. I find that men are more laid back and go with the flow more times than not where women can be a bit more particular in how they like things. It's the whole: "what do you want to eat?" "I don't care" "want chinese?" "no" "want mexican?" "no" want thai?" "no"... etc.

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We definitely did that before when we were talking about it before he knew i wanted a surprise.

We talked about what we would both want from a honeymoon, to relax, to be adventurous, to do activities, what kind etc.

Locations were discussed and so he got info that way, and he knows he can always ask me for my opinion on certain things, i just don't want the specifics to be able to figure it out.

Thank you for your feedback

I think it’s definitely fair to ask him to take the lead on planning the honeymoon - but I’d also be willing to help make some big decisions together if planning a complete surprise turns out to be too stressful!!

It sounds like you covered this through his initial questions, but I’d definitely give him an idea of how far you want to travel, what kind of honeymoon (beach, spa, mountains, touristy, adventurous, etc). When we narrowed it down to the Caribbean for our honeymoon then I had my husband research each island to help decide. I also knew we wanted an awesome suite / villa with a hot tub or pool, so then I unleashed him on researching hotels that have those rooms!