Family drama

Family dramas are the worst ans never gpt upset with my parents as much because they want to help, yet not paying for it.

Your brother means well, though he doesn't understand how much your paying for eveything and wants to have what seems to have his way. You two did say it well and stood your ground about the final decision.

Of your brother is still single and will get married someday, then he can have an open bar on his day. If he is married, he can sntand by your decision and stand proud as a family member.

In a similiar case, my brother was trying to control some aspects of my wedding when i had everything under control. We hadn't spoken for the longeat time until the day of the wedding after the speech i gave. He realized that he was wrong in the way he handled his part and i also had to say sorry because of how some things were my wrong doing.

I hope your relationship with your brother gets back and things get figuered out smoothly. Don't let hatred get in the way of the planning.

View quoted message I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure he is trying to step up and be there for you in place of your dad, and he may feel that he isn't doing a good job. The fact is he isn't paying for your wedding. I'm I correct in thinking this? Alchohol is a big expense no matter who is paying. I have been to many different types of weddings, from many different types of backgrounds and they all have variations in how they handle this. I've seen people upset at open bars, because the bride and groom didn't pay for premium liquor. I've seen cash bars where the people had the best time. It's easy for family and guests to get attitudes on what they think should or shouldn't happen and when it's their wedding they should do whatever makes them Happy, but its your wedding. He shouldn't be making you feel bad or saying thing to the family. If you don't do your wedding how you want your wedding, you will have regrets later on, it always happens. My FH sister is trying to hijack my wedding because she didn't have the wedding she wanted, didnt get to choose anything and she hated every second of it, so now I get to deal with it. It's really about the marriage anyway and not the Wedding, the wedding is such a small part of the big picture, don't worry about the booze, the gifts, or the money envelopes, don't worry about his threats, just enjoy your marriage and life with you FH. Oh and ps I'm Canadian and my family has always had open bars, it's not just an Italian thing lol. Then again our background is Irish/Scottish and booze has always been a big hit. Lol

Ok ladies. I did the right thing to tell my brother in a nice way about not having an open bar, but the result I got was not good since he yelled and threw sh*t at me. Then bad talked my in laws with my fiance and friends involved. Including our family. He threatened he would tell the whole family not to give us anything on our day for not having an open bar. He seems to think my day is his wedding and will stop at nothing to control my big day. I was born in Canada so I am Canadian but my background includes old fashioned strict Italians that moved to Canada from italy. My brother was born in Canada 2 but seems to act more Italian then anything. Standing by the old fashioned ways. He says it's embarrassing to not go open bar and to do everything the Canadian way.

We are having an open bar. I've had a few take my stand moments with his sister though but not over the bar. We are older and patimg for the wedding outselves, my parents have passed and his are not in a position to help with anything, we just want them there. His sister is trying to make this wedding the wedding she never had and it's very frustrating sometimes like when she wants to change my colours, oh and the dress fittings was a whole other story. I love her but I have to remind her that it's is my wedding often lol.

Honestly, it's your wedding and everyone should respect your decision. I, myself, ran into similar situation and had to put my foot down. I agree with others that commented that you thank them for their opinion, ultimately, the decisions lies into your hands.

Who's wedding is it, anyway? Tell your brother you love him and thank him for his opinion, but you and your future husband have decided that you will have drink tickets at YOUR OWN wedding. When he gets married, he can have an open bar, if that's what he wants. I've found that a lot of brides get influenced and swayed into doing things they don't want. You must stand your ground.

It's about what you want for your day. We told everyone up front that if they were contributing to the wedding that it didn't mean they got a say in things. Be polite but assertive.

I think that because I'm a bit older than the typical bride, I don't have this sort of problem asserting myself. I don't give a rats ass what anybody thinks, we are doing things the way we want and that's how it is. Mind you I'm footing the whole bill, so in all fairness I should get to make the decisions. Trouble with that is I'm not the most decisive person and I tend to second guess myself after everything I do. It's a conundrum. I feel for you though. Attempting to gently let someone know that their idea is not the one you are going with is tough. I would recommend telling your brother, who has been there for you, how much you love and appreciate him and wish that you could afford an open bar to make him happy at your wedding, but unfortunately you are going to have to concede to your future mother in laws wishes, and go with the drink tickets. I would try to ensure he knows how much you love him, and his idea, and wanted to make him happy, it's just not feasable, and that you are disappointed that you are letting him down. If he were to offer to foot the bill for the open bar that changes things though. Then I would question why your future mother in law thinks you would need the tickets. Best of luck with your situation and hope things work out!!!

I think that the question here is what do YOU want. It is understandable that everyone in the family is going to have their opinion and would like to persuade you to do whats best, aka, what they want lol, but you they have to understand that this is your day and it what you want. I had the same issue with my mother that she thought that the colours that I picked where too dark and to just go with the linens from the hall that we are going with. I told her that I didn't think that the colours would work with mine (ivory linens with navy ans gold colour scheme...um no). She pushed and I told her that this was what I wanted as it's my wedding.

It sounds like you are close with your brother and want to make him happy, but if the expense is too much then maybe talk to him about it and let him know that i's not something that you have really budgeted for and so you can't. If he is willing to pay for the whole thing and you're ok with that, then good on ya!! Go for it!! I'm sure it is something that your guests would appreciate but its not a must at the end of the day! Good luck!

I've been learning that it's impossible to please everyone. It sucks, but it's true. Honestly, the most important thing is deciding what you and your future spouse want (the day is about you two)

Have you considered having an open bar during cocktail hour and drink tickets for the dance portion? That would help keep the cost down for the bar but also be inclusive of everyone's opinion.