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Lucy
Frequent user July 2019 Ontario

Extra baby to accommodate?

Lucy, on August 9, 2018 at 15:20 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 6
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I'm not really looking for answers, I think I just need to get all this out out of my head and then I'll be able to relax and wait and see what happens but I don't really want talk to any of my IRL friends in case in turns out I'm worrying over nothing and I start looking like a bridezilla!. It's gonna be long so be warned!


I grew up in Australia, all my bridal party are Australian and will be flying over for the wedding. I feel incredibly blessed that they are willing to come so far especially since I have no space to put them up (family have already claimed every spare bed and mattress at my local family's houses).


My MOH just told me that she is expecting baby#3. The baby will be about 5 months old at the wedding. Now, they haven't decided whether MOH, husband + 3 kids will be coming or just MOH + baby. If the whole crew comes, all my worrying will be for nothing - the baby can simply stay with her husband while we girls get ready/ceremony/photos etc.


But, if it's just MOH and the baby...what do we do with a 5 month old when we don't have a second parent to pass them over to? We've known each other for almost 30 years so she knows my immediate family, but my sister will have her own 4yo to look after, my brother/SIL have 3 kids of their own and I don't want to ask my parents to play babysitter during the ceremony in case the baby starts crying and they have to leave to quiet them down and you know, miss their daughter's wedding! I don't know if she'll be cool to just hand them over to a random aunt or uncle to rock or if they'll get bad enough that she'll end up holding the baby for the ceremony!


Then there's how do we get the baby to the ceremony? Can you put a babyseat in a limo? I don't really want the baby in the limo, but who else is there to look after them when the mother is the MOH and has wedding duties? Do I get one of the other family guests to drive both the MOH and baby together and leave them out of the limo ride?


I just have all these thoughts and worries swirling around in my head but I can't do anything about them until I know who is coming but gosh I feel so much better getting this out! I think I'll be okay now to wait until I know either way and if she's coming solo, we'll deal with it the best we can. Thank you for letting me get this all out!

6 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on August 10, 2018 at 11:34
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    I understand your concerns but I think your MOH will be able to handle it. Don't worry too much as this is mostly out of your control for now.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    I don’t think this is something you need to worry about to be honest! It’s your MOH’s baby so she will need to figure out what to do with her baby during those times. Once they decide who’s coming, and if it’s just her and the baby, then talk to her about your concerns, but in the meantime, don’t worry about it! (Easier said than done I’m sure!!)

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    View quoted message
    Do any of your local friends or family use a nanny for their kids? If someone does you could maybe look at hiring that person for the day to help take of the baby? I bet your MOH would love that and it would solve a lot of your stress.
    • Reply
  • Lucy
    Frequent user July 2019 Ontario
    Lucy ·
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    I guess I don't want my worries to influence their decision. Logistically it would be easier if everyone came, but international flights for 2 adults/2 children and a lap baby are pretty expensive. I don't want them to shell out $$$ just because it's the easiest solution for me.

    The wedding is in early July, baby is due late January and she said they would make a decision around December/January who is coming so I'll have time to sort out what we need to do, but I'm also a planner who likes everything locked in and taken care of as early as possible.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    Wow... that is quite the pickle. I can relate to the sitting duck feeling - some things you just have to wait to freak out about or if you're lucky it works out fine and there is no stress. One of the hardest things to do while planning my wedding has been to not stress over things that don't affect me currently. Hopefully all works out! And like Emma said - I'm sure she has thought about how it will make her role as MOH more difficult and I'm sure she isn't going to just show up and ask you "k, now what? I have a baby so I guess I can't do this, that, and the other..."

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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    Why don’t you ask your MOH what she thinks? She may have already thought of some of the things you are stressing over.
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