Dress Disaster

WOW. I'm really sorry you're going through this. It can be extremely tough being attached by blood to someone who behaves that way and it can be really difficult to navigate the waters of them. I'm so glad to hear that you're getting your dress and it will be professionally handled, since your moms version sounded like a loose cannon lol.

That's a really tough situation to go through... I'm sorry you're dealing with all that!

I suppose the silver lining is, you get your professional dress you liked at a crazy deal... hopefully it turns out beautifully!

In terms of your mother... sometimes it's really difficult, or impossible, for some people to admit fault or weakness... and if she realized that she wasn't able to make the dress like she thought, or that it wasn't going to be perfect... rather than admitting it, she'd definitely find any other excuse (mainly blaming you), to abandon the project without having to admit she couldn't do it.

The people closest to us have the ability to hurt us the most, and drive us insane... just try to focus on your more positive relationships for the next month, and don't let her bring you down!

I'm sorry you're going through this! I used to date a narcissist and your mom seems to fit the label. He would never take the blame for stuff that went wrong (even if it was completely his fault), He had zero empathy for me or anyone around him, and he needed people to admire him.

I was made to feel like I was the one to blame for our relationship ending and that I was a heartless b****. Also he thought I was 'broken' for having depression which made it worse! At the same time, he made me think that I needed him because no one else would love me, then get jealous when guy friends wanted to hang out with me. In reality, he needed me so he could have someone to manipulate and a scapegoat to blame.

I was in therapy for a good duration of our relationship and afterwards, I initially started for depression/anxiety but I got help during the relationship I desperately needed. It was then when I first heard the word narcissist and knew that's what my ex was. I'm very empathetic and I thought my ex would be hurt by me would be bad, even though he had hurt me a million times more.

I was very quiet about my therapy for a while because I didn't want people to think I was broken/other things my ex would say. He knew I was in, but didn't see why it was necessary since "I had him"! My friends supported me when I did eventually tell them and thought it was good that I did end things with him.

Long story short: narcissists can suck the life force out of you and therapy can be helpful in coping with it. Sorry to rant on your post but I hope things work out for you and your wedding! If people ask why you're not wearing your mom's dress, just crack a small joke like Tori said. At least you have your FH, dad and BFF! A good support system really helps with dealing with a narcissist!

I can totally see my mom doing the exact same thing...She is very similar to your mom! Knowing that she is that kind of person, I would never ask her to help me with something so important for my wedding. I think it just helps to avoid grief for the both of us. I hope that you and your mom's relationship will be more favourable now that this dress is no longer a point of tension. It is great that you still have your dad, best friend and FH to support you. There are always negative people in our lives but we just need to learn to not let them bring us down! Your wedding is going to turn out fine now that you have a beautiful dress!

Wow - I am sorry you went through this. It is not an enjoyable situation. I really like Tori's suggestion on how to handle it - don't let your mom get away with putting the blame on you. You did nothing wrong!

While Stephanie is right, and making a wedding dress is very hard - I am a professionally trained seamstress and people kept asking if I was making my own dress and my answer was very simple - HELL NO! I'm so sorry your mom tried to do this for you when it sounds like it was beyond her abilities - that just makes it so much worse for you.

I AM glad that you ended up getting your dress that you wanted! Do you have pictures?

First of all, it sucks that this is all happening--especially so close to the wedding!

Second, I agree with Tori--making a little joke out of it if she tells people you didn't like her dress.

Not to excuse your mom's behaviour, as she was not being very supportive: I have heard it's extremely hard to make a wedding dress: even the most experienced seamstresses will avoid making one. It's too bad she can't just admit this though.

I'm glad you were able to find the original dress at a reasonable price!

30 days: so exciting! Here's to hoping no more (major!) stress before the big day!

It sucks that she put you in that situation! I hope you can fix things with her and are actually happy with the dress you bought.

YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH!!! lol Tbh, if this was my situation I would plan that if anybody is told that you just didn't like the one she made or whatnot that I would say "Oh, is that what she is trying to tell people? lol No, the only reason I didn't want to wear it was because she couldn't finish it in time and I didn't want to wear half a dress down the aisle hahahaha" Very nonchalant... But still putting it in their brains that in no way were you the reason for not wearing what she made... or rather didn't make... Good luck and put all the stress about it away - at least now you know you have a dress that you like!