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Flow
Newbie May 2018 British Columbia

Do i need to invite my boss?

Flow, on January 5, 2018 at 04:56 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14
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The age-old question!

We are having a moderately sized wedding with around 150 guests and I am trying to finalize our guest list. My parents are pretty traditional and they think I should invite my boss, manager and another colleague, but I am very hesitant to do so. I work in a pretty small department with the 4 of us, but they are not the type of colleagues I hang out with or see outside of work. I am however inviting 4 other colleagues who I do see outside of work and consider friends. Because of this, I am worried it will be awkward if I don’t invite the 3 I work directly with. My fiancé feels i should invite them to avoid any awkwardness that may arise after our wedding. I have room for them but I have this feelings I shouldn’t invite them just because people are expecting me to. It also doesn’t help that my fiancé and I have decided not to have speeches at our reception and I happened to mention it at work, and my boss has voiced her strong and negative opinions about it (“What kind of wedding doesn’t have speeches? That would be such a boring wedding!”). Should I just invite them because it’s customary or follow my gut feeling? Thanks for any advice!

14 Comments

Latest activity by Kristine, on January 9, 2018 at 16:12
  • Kristine
    Frequent user October 2017 Ontario
    Kristine ·
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    I work in a small office. I invited three people from my office (three people that I have a relationship with) nobody else.

    Maybe my boss wanted to be invited, maybe not - but I wouldn't want to go grab a coffee outside of work with my boss... so why would I want them at my wedding?

    They asked me how it went once I got back to work, I told them a bit and showed a few pictures. Done and done.

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  • Ellen
    Curious October 2019 Ontario
    Ellen ·
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    I am in the same situation, I work with a team of about 8 people and am friends with the women I work directly with everyday, and often see them after work. However it feels rude to invite everyone but my manager.

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  • Amyfanggg
    Frequent user April 2018 Ontario
    Amyfanggg ·
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    That's always a tough one. I think you should chat with the colleagues that you ARE inviting. If the 3 are going to be invited, they most likely will be seated with the 4, correct? If they feel comfortable about it, then it's safe to say everyone will be able to enjoy themselves.
    I was thinking of the same thing for me, but I just don't have enough seats. I don't think I'll be able to invite ANY colleagues. it makes me kind of sad.
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  • Bethany
    Super July 2018 Alberta
    Bethany ·
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    Follow your gut instincts! Especially with negative comments like that.
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  • Holly
    Expert June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    We aren't inviting any co-workers. We don't really have a close connection to any of them so we decided against. If you are good friends and speak outside of work then yes for sure but if not then it's not expected.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    I didn't invite my boss nor his father whom i know. I stuck to my number just 3 of my co workers that i was really close to only.
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  • Tradingabyss
    Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
    Tradingabyss ·
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    Don’t invite them if you don’t want them there! I always felt the same way about work Xmas parties it feels weird to me. There’s a line between work and play
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  • Meghan
    Frequent user August 2018 Newfoundland and Labrador
    Meghan ·
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    I don’t feel like you need to invite anyone you don’t want to or are on the fence about. Our guest list is at about 150 now as well and most of them are family. We have some friends who aren’t super close but expected to be invited and we just let them know that due to our venue we need to limit our guest list. Although We do plan on telling those friends that they’re more than welcome to come afterwards to the dance part so we can still celebrate with them
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  • Allison
    Newbie September 2018 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I am in the same situation! I really don't even have space for my bosses, as our venue only holds 80 people max, but we are a VERY small company and they assumed from the beginning that they were invited. They are nice enough people, but they really get on my nerves (whose boss doesn't???) and I so don't want to invite them. I know my boss' wife would be very petty afterwards if I didn't invite her, so I'm just going to bite the bullet and do it to save drama after.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    I don't think you need to invite them. I'm inviting a couple current co-workers but not all of them. I think weddings should be for those closest to you (and family). I agree it would be awkward to invite some from your department, but if you don't see them outside work, then I think it's fine to not invite them.

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  • Tatiana
    Expert April 2018 Ontario
    Tatiana ·
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    Myself and FH decided not to invite anyone from either of our work places. I have a coworker who always asks me about the wedding and i think she would love to come, but i disclossed this very early at my work place, so she completely understands and not offonded. I think it's your day and you should not invite people just because.

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  • Maegan
    Super July 2018 British Columbia
    Maegan ·
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    Follow your gut!
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  • Breanne
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Breanne ·
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    Honestly in your description of the situation I wouldn't feel the need to invite them, I would just try to limit the wedding talk around them and they will get the hint (or at least not assume) they are invited. You don't seem close to them at all, so it would likely just take away from a bit of the fun of the day.

    I am inviting my boss and her husband but we work one-on-one every day. She likely won't agree entirely with my day (she is ultra-religious and we are having a non-denominational ceremony) but she is also very supportive and encouraging.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I don't think you need to invite them if you don't feel like it. I didn't invite anyone from my current or former workplace, though my wedding was much smaller than yours. Don't just invite someone or some people to your wedding to please others. You are the one who works with them and has to see them all the time. Also, if you do not see them outside of work in any way, I would find it awkward having them there at all but that's just me. It's your wedding so you have the ultimate say, remember that.

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