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Tunisha
Super October 2021 Ontario

Decision! Decision!

Tunisha, on May 19, 2021 at 14:53 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 16
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Hello everyone,
So, I’m in a predicament. My fiancé and I are planning to get married October 2nd, 2021!
I have two venue option. Both are free and available for us to use when we’re ready.1. Fiancé’s family Backyard- it’s somewhat not levelled, we’ll have to fix that close to the time.- it doesn’t have space for my little ceremony I wanted to have- the background has a lot of trees and what not going on (it has character) however, not much space
2. My family friend’s Farmland- lots of space - can have separate areas for the ceremony and reception- it’s about 30 minutes or so from where we live- the roads are dark at night since there are no lights
Additional ish to stir up my challenging situation: my parents (mainly dad) are telling us to get a tent. We don’t really see the need for a tent. They mentioned that in case of rain 🌧. But we have to think about permit, they are sooo expensive (got a quote and it’s almost to $3000 just to rent it. Ugh. Not only that, my dad called a meeting with my fiancé and I, and my fiancé felt attacked as my dad was addressing everything to him (as he wants to keep it in the backyard). We said no, we weren’t going to get a tent. Also, my dad said if there is no tent, he won’t be coming at the wedding OR he’s speaking generally that people need tent and people won’t come if there isn’t any.... I’m still annoyed at him for that comment. So I’m so confused at this point.
So, with that backup information. My predicament is really trying to figure out which option seems better and do we need to think of a tent? I was only thinking of a small wedding and it turned into a next level challenge.
Help a sister out! Sorry for this long read. Much appreciated! 🙏🏾

16 Comments

Latest activity by Tunisha, on May 25, 2021 at 22:46
  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Thank you so much for your response Tracy! 🙏🏾💕 That’s a great advice and amazing plan for your wedding. Congratulations 🎉 on your wedding as well.


    So, l tried looking into other locations. Saw a very beautiful one and now we might have to change the date, since it’s not available on our dates.
    We have been looking for tents and canopies. But it’s a challenge and cannot find one. Now I’m looking for better venues and date. We have catering, just need a lovely spot. Thank you for the well wishes. Have a fantastic wedding! Soon....




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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Thank you for your response Vinod.
    Yeah, I’m trying to look into a new location to make it a win win for everyone. Hahaha. Might still have to get a tent even with only family for the backyard plan. And we only have about 70 people. Saw a lovely location, now I’m stuck with changing the date. This wedding thing isn’t easy, it’s such a challenge. Wish me luck!
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  • Tracy
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Tracy ·
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    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

    I am very sorry to hear about your Dad, try to talk to him directly about you and your fiance feel and remind him this is YOUR day!

    My fiance and I are getting married in our small back yard this August and I'll let you know what we are doing in case that helps. I am afraid of it raining so the weekend before we are setting up ropes across the yard and will attach the tarps at one side of the yard and test pulling them across the ropes then attaching on the other side. After successful test the tarp will be on the one side of the yard and if it's calling for rain on our wedding day then it's just a quick pull tarp across the ropes and attach on other side. We are also borrowing canopies from a couple of friends - these will be set up regardless of rain as not everyone wants to be in the sun.

    Ask around to your friends and family if they have any tarps or canopies you can borrow.

    Good Luck.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your wedding plans seem to be on hold to be finalized with the hard decision of your father. He feels the control should be within him as I felt the same with my family while the planning process. Its the hardest thing to swallow of the idea of him giving the alternative at this point to you two standing your ground not to rent a tent. A small wedding at this time would be suggest as a back up plan in the family backyard with just family and then going over to plan B for later on as a second wedding with the full guest list. This way he will be happy and its affordable for now. Its a win win situation.
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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Hello Stephanie,
    Thank you so much for your response.
    Yes, we were thinking of buying tarps for the backyard location, which will be less than having to go through all the permit and other shenanigans. But thank you for those ideas and your feedback. It has me thinking. 🙏🏾💕
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    I had an outdoor ceremony (same place as the reception, which was indoors). It started to rain just before I walked down the aisle. We said our vows in the rain, but then I noticed people left their seats to try to find shelter beside the building, so I suggested we move it inside. It was nice to have that option, even though it wasn't what we wanted (they had started setting up for dinner, so there are those metal catering dishes as our backdrop!) It rained on and off throughout the day and it would've been miserable if we didn't have a dry place to run to. I like the suggestion of big umbrellas. If you don't care about how it looks, you could always buy a few tarps and only put them up if it looks like rain the day of. Or, have a few kitchen tents set up (similar to the umbrella idea) for people to stand/sit under if it rains. Also, talk to rental places in your community to see about the possibility of a last minute rental, or the chances of availability a week or two before the wedding to see the chance of rain then. (But also, I checked the weather every day starting two weeks before our wedding, and it changed every day! So, it's not always the best predictor). We rented an arch last minute. There wasn't an increase in fees, there was just the chance it wasn't going to be available.

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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Yes, thank you Hank!
    Not such a bad idea. I’ll run it by the fiancé and see what he thinks.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    It'll certainly fit people better via cocktail since each person will take up less footprint while standing vs sitting at a round table. You can also get patio umbrellas instead of tents for a cocktail style setup.

    If you do a cocktail setup though, you can potentially have the ceremony in the backyard. It might be a standing ceremony but since there's no need to setup the space with giant round tables, you don't need a separate space to flip the room.

    That being said, you can also do all of what I just mentioned above on the farm land. It'll just feel like a massive garden party.

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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Ahhhhh yeah, my fiancé was stubborn to measure the place. Because the family that’s looking to decorate asked that question. 🤦🏽‍♀️ he still did not.


    Yeah, I never thought about a cocktail party. I might have to bring this up to him. He was liking the idea of a cocktail party style wedding, just mingle around for a wedding. Might ask him about that. Thanks Hank!
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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    No, there are homes on the land and that’s it.
    😅😂😂😂 of course I thought about the comment on the rain. But I am hoping and praying rain won’t fall...? Hahaha. But no, it’s just a challenge. Even in the backyard, I don’t see the possibility of tents. So that’s the other challenge too. I totally get the tent idea on the farmland since it’s open space.

    Back to the drawing board I go. Now I have to chat with the fiancé. He did not want to talk about this after it was brought up. So, I’m trying to give him time.
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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Yes, I know. This is how he gets, want to control things. Then they realize how far the farmland was when we visited it last weekend. Now my mum is talking about a hall. Like I just want an outside wedding.


    That’s what I’m thinking. Ugh, this is so not easy. I totally understand when they brought the tent idea, but I totally like the open night backyard vibe. I’ll have to go back to the drawing board. Haha
    Thank you for your response Christiana.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Without knowing the square footage of the yard, it's hard to know if you can squeeze 60-70 people there.

    As for the yard not being leveled, I personally wouldn't go with a seated banquet style dinner if I were hosting in that yard. A cocktail party is better use of the space and won't matter if the yard isn't leveled. It'll also allow people to mingle better, in my opinion.

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  • Tunisha
    Super October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Well, if Covid allows. We’re look at 70 people or even 60 people. Yes, the character is the only thing I like about it (see photo from aerial view). It is not levelled as well, so we’ll have to see if we can level with it. But they are still thinking about a tent and in the backyard, but it just won’t be possible to have a tent due to the trees. Like I’m so stressed!

    Decision! Decision! 1


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  • Kelsey
    Frequent user June 2022 Ontario
    Kelsey ·
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    Do either option have a shelter structure? Or were you planning to do everything open air? I'd rethink the tent.... unless you are perfectly OK with your guests (and yourself) sitting down to eat dinner in the rain. You need to have a weather backup plan for shelter. Yes it sucks with how costly tents are, but will you be happy if you end up soaking wet from the rain? You're taking a chance if you don't have some form of tent or shelter
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    If you'll have to re-level the yard and there isn't space for the ceremony I think it's an easy decision to go with the farm.

    As far as the tent issue goes - your dad shouldn't be threatening not to attend, it sounds like he's throwing a bit of a fit and hopefully he'll support you no matter what you do. BUT I personally would not risk having no shelter in early October. Even in the middle of summer it's possible it could rain. You just don't know. And the odds of rain increase in the fall. It also might be pretty cold at night if you don't have a shelter for your guests with heaters and everything. As expensive as it is, I think it's something that's worth spending your money on.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    How small of a wedding do you want? And how much space is the backyard? You mentioned it has character - is it something you're happy with overall?

    One factor to consider with the farm land is, now that you have more space, you might be pressured to invite more people than you originally intended since you're able to fit them now.

    And I agree with your dad, you need a tent if you're on the farm land (not necessary with how he worded it and approached it, but the intent of his advice). In addition to potential for rain (which is very likely, given you're first weekend of October), it's also a better way to trap heat if you need heaters (another likely, since your date is post-Autumn Equinox).

    Given the costs involved for the farm land (tent, heaters, permits), I'd opt for the backyard if you're happy with it.

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