Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Super April 2019 Alberta

Decided to Elope!

Gina, on June 12, 2018 at 15:38 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 63

Saved

Dispute
Hide content

Strictly for venting post. Haha. For the past couple months, we have been planning our wedding. We’ve put deposits on Venue, Photographer, DJ and photo booth and already booked the officiant as well as my hair stylist/Mua. And to be completely honest, this is not as amazing as I thought it would be. Family has stressed me out beyond belief. So many decisions I was pushed into in order to make others happy. It stopped feeling like we were doing this us, and it felt like we were doing it for everyone else. We are paying for our entire wedding, and I looked at my FH and said “ At least $32,000 of our money will be going towards a day that I’m stressed about having” I do things out of obligation to make others happy. I’m a people pleaser by nature. And why does everyone have opinions about everything?!?!? I don’t even want to go dress shopping with other people. I feel like the joy has been taken out of the whole process... we have been together for 9 years, and we both are so excited to be married. Sooooooo we have decided to cancel it all! We are going to kananaskis next year (March Or April) and we are getting married on a Thursday!! We will have the ceremony outdoors at the mountains, and rent out a private dinner room to have dinner and drinks. We will stay at the hotel for 5 nights, and let people know that anyone can come if they want to celebrate with us, but I’m not doing any of the normal wedding stuff. Let me tell you, I feel amazing about it! I have actually slept the past couple nights since deciding. My anxiety about the wedding and family is completely gone. We are not going to have a wedding party. Our photographer will come as they do elope weddings in the Rocky Mountains, so she will change the contract (awesome)
people, do not let others push you into choices you wouldn’t have made on your own. It’s your day, don’t even ask for other people’s opinions. And most importantly, choose your wedding party wisely haha.

Dispute
Hide content

63 Comments

1
2
of 2 pages
Next

Latest activity by Brandon, on November 4, 2018 at 09:56

Newbie August 2020 Ontario
Brandon · On November 4, 2018 at 09:56
Dispute

Hide content
Thank you for sharing! I feel the exact same way! Others make the wedding about them and what they want instead of what the bride and groom wants. I'm so happy for you. Have an amazing wedding!
- Reply
Newbie August 2019 Rwanda
Liliane · On August 28, 2018 at 07:56
Dispute

Hide content
Thank you so much all for sharing. I feel like you all understand what each one of us is kind of going through. I thank you too Gina for the encouragement. I never knew that i could get more care from some one i dint even know. May God bless you all and guide you through all your future plans. Me and my future husband seam to decide now that we will be more happier with a wedding of just 2 of us and a witness of course but not the entire African thing of more than 500 people. We are putting the money into our first house since am moving back to Africa.
- Reply
Top August 2017 Ontario
Vinod · On August 13, 2018 at 16:13
Dispute

Hide content
Good for you to decide what you wanted to do and how you did it!
It's difficult keeping up with posting parents alone when lot more people say something.
Since the pressure has been taken off your shoulders, it will be easier to just have your guests enjoy the day better.
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 15:56
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Is is a lot if kids! Haha. But their not all young! Most will be over the age of 10. Between my 2 sisters and I, we have a combined total of 11 kids haha.
- Reply
Expert September 2018 Ontario
Jessie · On August 13, 2018 at 15:52
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message

Oh wow! That's a lot of kids haha
You never know who will come, some people can surprise you!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 15:31
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
I know! It’s insane! I think we have 70 adults and over 20 kids that are invited. I don’t think we will have near that now that our wedding is on a Tuesday out of town. But it’s possible lol
- Reply
Expert September 2018 Ontario
Jessie · On August 13, 2018 at 14:04
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message

I totally understand. It probably is easier just to not talk about it.
The dinner is expensive.. I couldn't believe no matter where you go it's around $200 a head. Weddings are so expensive and especially if you invite a lot of people! We are at 77 people so far!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 13:51
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Haha so true! I stopped telling people anything! No one even knew we changed our invitations until they got them in the mail. Lol. If their unhappy, they can keep it to themselves! FH and I talked about it yesterday. It seems we’ve always worked so hard to keep others happy. Yet they couldn’t even give us the same respect. It was even things like fake flowers being tacky and ridiculous things like that. Why does anyone care? Lol. I swear people just want something to complain about. I was so supportive of my sisters weddings and never once said anything about any of their decisions. I supported them 100% every step of the way. Yet my sister thought it was insane how much dinner will be per person... why does she care? She isn’t paying for it? Lol stuff like that. Ok, I’ll stop ranting now haha
- Reply
Expert September 2018 Ontario
Jessie · On August 13, 2018 at 12:47
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message

Aww thanks I hope so! I will post pictures for sure!
We were both thinking the same as you FH, we wanted a traditional wedding but didn't realize there would be so much stress. We are also paying for our wedding but somehow we still don't get to have the final say on things.. At least we can come out of this happily married with lots of in sight for others that get married after us! Then we can see what we went through and how tough it can be lol
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 12:21
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Thank you so much Jessie! Your wedding will be amazing! I always wanted to elope, he wanted to have a more traditional wedding. I agree with the whole family bit. I can’t believe how family can be when it comes to weddings! I never in a million years thought it would be so stressful. I don’t even talk about the wedding to anyone except FH, because I know everyone else will have something to say. Lol. I’m happy we are paying for our whole wedding, so I don’t have to listen to people’s opinions haha
- Reply
Expert September 2018 Ontario
Jessie · On August 13, 2018 at 11:10
Dispute

Hide content
Good for you for taking a stand for you and your Fiance. I know that couldn't have been easy!
As I was reading your post I was nodding my head yes to everything lol I feel the same way. I wish it could be more joyful and that family would step up instead of just making things harder and hurtful. My fiance said we should just elope and it would be so much simpler and we wouldn't have had to go through all this stress. Little too late to elope now.. 19 days lol
I hope you have an amazing wedding and all those stresses stay away!!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 10:47
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Thank you Rachael! When we were originally getting married in the city I was pushed into having a wedding party and certain people in the wedding party. I originally didn’t want one either. It was such a huge stress on me! Now that we aren’t having a wedding party, it’s so great to not have the added stress. I find that a lot of people don’t get much help from the wedding party. (Some are fortunate to have an amazing group of people) that was not my case! Haha. Best of luck to you and your FH on your wedding planning. It’s been amazing with planning our new idea! We will ended up inviting over 70 people, but we know a lot won’t make it. We are ok with whatever happens!
- Reply
Super October 2019 Ontario
Rachael · On August 13, 2018 at 10:04
Dispute

Hide content
I'm so glad that the pressure is off you now that you've decided to do what you truly want to!
I told my fiancé I did not want a bridal party for this particular reason, as I want my wedding to be styled and the way my fiancé and I envision it, and I've found it's worked spectacularly thus far.
This is great advice, and I hope if anyone else is going through something similar (or is recently engaged) that they come across this post.
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On August 13, 2018 at 08:27
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Wow, Liliane! That’s a lot of pressure on you! I know African weddings tend to be very large, but if it’s not something you want, you shouldn’t do it. I think we often get so caught up in others peoples happiness, we forget the day is truly about you and your future husband. It’s you two that need to focus on what eachother wants, and work from that. But I do understand the pressures of family and their expectations. It’s really hard sometimes to go against their wishes. If you are both introverts, then having a huge wedding is going to cause you a great deal of stress! And. You don’t want to start your marriage off in financial turmoil! You both have been together 10 years! That’s amazing and beautiful! The people you love will be there no matter what. Even if it wasn’t the wedding they were expecting! Best of luck to you! I can’t wait to hear how your wedding planning goes. And I hope it’s everything YOU wanted!!!
- Reply
Newbie August 2019 Rwanda
Liliane · On August 12, 2018 at 23:57
Dispute

Hide content
To be honest with you Gina, I have been so inspired by your story as short as t is, i think i can make it. me and my fiancee we have been together since i was 13 years old and now am 23. We are planing to get married next year but every thing is looking more and more like my siblings want to do for my wedding what they did not do in theirs. I love what they are wishing for me but this is financially going to kill me and my husband to be. First of all we are both introverts and being among too many people is not our favorite thing neither the less having every one looking at us. forgetting not that all my siblings that got married had nothing less than 600 guests because of our African culture. I feel like its time i stop wanting to full fill their dreams and fill mine. I thank you soooo much.
- Reply
Devoted February 2020 Ontario
Emily · On July 29, 2018 at 13:46
Dispute

Hide content
That is so awesome! I am glad that you are doing something that works perfectly for you, especially with all the stress and anxiety you were dealing with. Weddings are suppose to be about the bride and groom and enjoyable - not sleeping at night is definitely not enjoyable.
- Reply
Devoted May 2019 Alberta
Melissa · On July 26, 2018 at 13:04
Dispute

Hide content
Amazing! You are going to enjoy your day that much more knowing that you weren't stressed beyond belief trying to plan it
- Reply
Frequent user June 2019 Alberta
Julia · On July 26, 2018 at 03:59
Dispute

Hide content
That is exactly what a wedding should be, a day that you and your FH can enjoy and have it be about you! props for not letting others tell you how things should be and what you should do. Hope you enjoy your special day
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On July 24, 2018 at 14:48
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Our destination is close (4 hours) and I’m surprised at how many people still wanted to come. But the family that can’t is completely understanding in us wanting to elope. So much less stress!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On July 24, 2018 at 14:46
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Lake Louise is gorgeous!!! IMO it’s the most beautiful place in the Rocky Mountains by far! Good for you! It’s amazing how much less stressful the elopement is! The lady at the hotel is handling everything. I’m enjoying this much more. We originally thought it was going to save us money, but now a bunch of people are excited and wanting to come haha. Which is wonderful! At least it’s 5 nights away on top of a wedding!
- Reply
Super March 2019 Nova Scotia
Kaisha · On July 23, 2018 at 23:06
Dispute

Hide content
That's awesome! We seriously considered eloping at first as I didn't want to disappoint any family when I had to cut back my guest list. After talking to a few people though I ended up changing my mind and realizing most family will understand. We are also doing a March wedding in Halifax (our family is all from Manitoba and Ontario) so we knew a lot wouldn't travel.
- Reply
Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
Lor · On July 23, 2018 at 09:11
Dispute

Hide content
That's awesome! Good for you!!
- Reply
Curious February 2019 Alberta
Morgane · On July 22, 2018 at 00:03
Dispute

Hide content
Snap! We are doing the same- Lake Louise on a tuesday in February! We have our families scattered across South Africa, France, Australia, Singapore, Egypt and England- trying to get all our loved ones in 1 place at the same time was impossible. We also just bought a house, so a $20,000+ wedding was depressing to think about. I also struggle with Anxiety, and having planned our elopement in 1 afternoon was so so nice!!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 15, 2018 at 17:02
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Thank you! We are really excited too!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 15, 2018 at 17:02
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
No way! Your wedding looked amazing! Thank you!
- Reply
Devoted September 2017 Alberta
Kayla · On June 14, 2018 at 16:53
Dispute

Hide content
Love this and wish i'd done it.
Congratulations
- Reply
Newbie August 2018 Ontario
Christina · On June 14, 2018 at 13:48
Dispute

Hide content
OMG! WOW that is awesome!
- Reply
Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On June 13, 2018 at 15:25
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message

That's awesome! I'm glad you're excited about the wedding again
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 13, 2018 at 15:21
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Haha! That’s a great way to do it! I love the renewal idea. I think the most important thing is that you’re a united front, because sometimes people can be rude. As long as you always have eachothers backs. Good for you both!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 13, 2018 at 15:20
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
Thank you Erin!
- Reply
Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 13, 2018 at 15:20
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
That would be a wonderful surprise for him! He will love it. Wedding planning can be so overwhelming. I really think it’s important for both people to be happy with the wedding, and I’m glad you are having one you dreamed about! I’m glad my FH and I talked when we did, because now we’re both excited for the wedding again!
- Reply

Super April 2019 Alberta
Gina · On June 13, 2018 at 15:15
Dispute

Hide content
View quoted message
We weren’t even inviting a bunch of cousins because we can’t stand them. Haha. Family can be so stressful. I can see why it would bother you! My FH does so much for his family, and they can’t be bothered to lift a finger. It drives me crazy! Thank you. I hope you have an amazing wedding as well. And I hope his family gets their stuff together long enough for you to have an engagement party with everyone there!
- Reply

1
2
of 2 pages
Next