Dealing with (unwanted) opinions from family and friends

I am actually planning all of my wedding now (every detail I can anyways) even though I am at least 5 years away from getting married and am not even technically engaged yet (my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years already) so that once we do get officially engaged and everyone has suggestions and comments about what we should and should not do I can just tell them that everything has already been planned

Everyone we know gets happy when your getting married. Its hard to swallow the words "thanks but no thanks for your advice". Just nodd and try to appreciate the suggestion as i considered them.

View quoted message I was the same, everytime someone gave me an unwanted or unnecessary opinion I would just smile and nodded, now I'm so done with it and I tell them how it is, doesn't make me popular but it sure stops all the opinions!

It’s your day, at first I tried being polite and attempting incorporating people’s ideas/keeping them happy but now I’ve gotten to the stick it up your butt stage! lol! It’s your day, the only person you need to be worried about is yourself, can’t make everyone happy.

It is amazing how many people get an opinion when it isn't their wedding. I took it personally at first, but I now remind myself that everyone has different taste.. as long as my FH and I are happy that's all that matters.

Literally EVERYONE has an opinion, my dental hygienist was telling me about her son's wedding and what he did because she saw my engagement ring.. I try to tell everyone that we are narrowing in on what we want but we are always open to suggestions. If someone tries to push their opinion a little harder I tell them that my fiance and I will keep it in mind but might be looking to do something completely different and they usually get the message.

My sister is sort of like that, and so I don’t really discuss things with my family or give them an opening for an opinion. Some of it has been helpful, but my FH and I usually only mention something if we’ve already agreed and paid for it. It’s our day, and if other people don’t like what we pick we’ll too bad, it’s not them that’s gettting married. We’ve just been following our gut and everything has worked out just the way we want it to so far. The only opinions I’ve really taken in is from my mom, just because she’s honestly the only person I really trust to tell me the honest truth if things are going to look bad.

Every single person we meet has an opinion, from our cake designer "oh my son did this" to my sis in law, who just simply states "oh that's a stupid idea, at my wedding we..." when I describe details, so i just don't anymore, i stick to mine and my fiance's ideas and move on. If people like it great if not that's ok too, they'll still have fun at the wedding at the end of the day .

I had lots of people offer suggestions of things we could add to or have at our wedding and some I didn't like and I would just politely tell people that I like their idea but it wasn't necessarily what I had pictured for our wedding. Some people I just said "thanks" and then ignored their suggestion.

Luckily we kept most of it to ourselves and therefore avoided most of the "unwanted" opinions.

I've learned to stop sharing information freely since I couldn't handle the comments. While they come from a "good place", they were making me feel a way that I did not like feeling. Confide in those you can trust and, for all others, it's all about how you respond. If you let it get to you and get angry or frustrated by it, then you've let negativity win. I've learned that as a bride-to-be we should be enjoying the journey and that they way inrespond will dictate the tone of response in return. Say things like, "that's a great idea, I'll look into it" or "very true, good point, we'll keep it in mind".

For example, the venue we found and loved, our family did not. Everyone had a comment about price and distance, etc. Now that we are looking again, when people ask us what venues we have in mind, I simply answer "we're not sure, we're still looking" or sometimes I even go as far to say "we're keeping it private as to have an element of surprise for our guests". Or, maybe simply say the city rather than the venue..."we're looking in..."

Its important to consider who the comments are coming from also. If it's kind hearted family and friends, you know they aren't looking to hurt you. If it's from some that may have other motives or tend to be jealous, then they are normally looking for a ride and it's best not give it to them. Simply smile and move on to a new topic.

Good luck!!

I haven't had to deal with this thankfully! I'm not very assertive though so I would probably just smile and say thanks and then ignore their suggestion.

I don't think they ever stop trying to give their opinions. I find they like to jump in and try to take over planning aspects of the wedding when they weren't asked to. It drives me nuts! We kindly remind them who is paying for the wedding and that we have a budget to stick to and a very precise idea of what we want for our day.