Crazy bride moments....

Sounds good Melissa. As long as you're alright and all is well is really what matters. Thanks, I choose not to get stressed out as it is more harmful than anything else.

Thanks!! I don't agree with her at all!! Especially because we want family to celebrate with us!! And we're keeping costs low by DIY!

Oh Maly! You aren't a Bridezilla at all. I would never stay calm if my sister said things like that to me! I admire you for choosing to have both of your sisters stand with you to keep the peace. Don't feel badly if you loose your cool a little, it sounds to me that you might be justified

I agree that weddings are a big expense- your sister isn't wrong as we all know. But NOT a waste of money. I hope you never feel that way- the only waste would be not celebrating your once-in-a-lifetime wedding the way you want!

I think I had a few bridezilla moments. She is a bridesmaid by default because I can't pick one sister over another. So both it is! But my older sister keeps telling me to just elope because weddings are stupid and a waste of money. Every time I'm excited about something wedding wise, she'll say something mean and negative. It's frustrating because I'm stressed out enough and don't need that!! I need to have excited and positive people!!
So I hear you guys!

Written acknowledgement of all important news!

Haha I am impressed that your mom found your coordinator! My mom has offered to help throughout the process but then forgets and doesn't do anything. She was like "what can I help with?" and I was like "I need help finding a rehearsal dinner location." And she'd be like "I'm on it!" and then a couple weeks later when I'd be stressed again, she's like "how can I help?" and I was like "well have you found any rehearsal dinner locations?" She's been super stressed so she doesn't remember anything anymore. My fiance has joked saying we need to have her intial on a contract once we tell her things because a couple months later she'll be like "I didn't know you were doing that" and we're like "um we had an entire conversation with you about that." I understand her being stressed but it makes it really difficult when she doesn't remember things we've already talked about!

But we are so lucky to have them to help us

Oh moms...

I know they mean to be helpful- my mom does it too! But oh lord, it gets a little overwhelming! She emailed my venue coordinator (lord knows how she found her) to ask about local hotels. OMG MOM you think I didn't ask for a recommendation. You don't think I've LOOKED?

BUt they really just want to help, so we can't get too mad

Also I hate that!!!! (second guessing you) My mom pulls that all the time. I was looking at bakeries by me and by the venue and wanted to book one by me. She had a conversation saying she would help and call around since I didn't know what was there. I was like mom... did you think I just opened a phone book and randomly flipped through and picked the first one my finger landed on! NO! I have the internet and I research the CRAP outta all the bakeries around, I know they are out of our budget or don't have what we want.

It mostly comes from a good place, but so frustrating!

The US forums are a bit ridiculous about that. I mean I don't expect my girls to do all the DIY I dream up, but I DO expect them to be my friends! Talk me off the ledge if I'm going crazy (which my MOH has done plenty of times already lol), at least offer help (and MEAN IT) even for little things. But that's good you can depend on your sister like that. My sister specifically asked NOT to be MOH, cause she didn't want to deal with the planning from far away (I was like... that's cool, I kind of wasn't going to ask you, we aren't REALLY that close).

So rude she only offered help hoping you wouldn't take her up on it!

I don't get that- My aunts are going to show up wearing dresses. A bridesmaid has your back for the whole thing! The planning is the part you are asking the to be there for more than just anyone in your circle.

That said, Bridal parties sound kind of like a pain...I've really only got my sister to contend with!

Haha yes all the US forums say that bridesmaids "just have to show up and wear a dress" on the day of the wedding but if I was a bridesmaid, I would want to help and be involved and make the bride feel special! At least show some interest! Ask what my plans are or how things are going or meet me for coffee so we can talk about things! One of my bridesmaids lives across the country and she's been the most involved. We email back and forth and she got married a few years ago so I've been able to ask her for advice. (and she'll be 7 months pregnant at my wedding and she has been like "this is about you, not me! I will do whatever it takes to be there!" She's the best.) My MOH is my younger sister and she is also across the country and we just have very different ideas of what type of wedding we want so that's been a challenge but we've worked through it. Two of my bridesmaids are my youngest sisters so I think they're just used to their older sisters or my mom taking care of everything for them their whole lives. My other friend (the one who "offered" to help and left our friend's wedding early) doesn't really know anything about weddings so I think she's just doesn't know what to do. (Side note, my mom has been saying our entire engagement that I should have picked my friend to be my MOH over my sister and after she left the wedding, I was so glad that I held my ground! Even if my sister and I don't see eye to eye, I know she'll get stuff done and have my back at the end of the day.)

My sisters worked things out amongst themselves! However me and my one sister are still on the outs!

I am proud of your very-soon-to-be-hubby too! I might have kicked her if I were you. DO NOT offer to help, and then be too busy. It is worse than just being pretty unhelpful in the first place. That would have brought out a pretty ugly monster I think.

I think trying not to overburden our friends is why so many Brides get stressed in the first place!

Oh man! I'm sorry you have to deal with all that drama! I hope that they can work it out before the wedding! You shouldn't have to worry about that.

Oh man that would have driven me crazy! I am such a planner and am not the type to be like "we'll figure it out when we get there." My fiance can be like that but he's been trying to be better when it comes to wedding stuff.

I've definitely been trying not to be a bridezilla (which has resulted in me doing everything myself so as not to impose on others) but I definitely get frustrated when people question why I'm doing something the way I am. I have done SO MUCH research and always plan 50 steps ahead so if I've decided on something, it's not just on a whim. It seems like every decision I've made, my mom had been like "oh but what about this instead?" and I have to be like "no we can't do that for this reason and this is why we're doing it this way." Can't you just be happy and excited?

We did have one moment last weekend at a friend's wedding that was kind of "groomzilla" but I was actually really proud of my fiance. My bridesmaids haven't really been very invested in things so I've just been doing everything myself and trying to keep them all in the loop. We were at my friends' wedding last Sat and one of our other friends was there and he actually planned a Halloween party on the same day as their wedding! It was like all-day game days on Sat and Sun and he put on the invitation "I'm going to a wedding from 2-8 pm but people can stay and I'll be back afterwards." We get to the wedding and he's like how come you're not coming to my party tomorrow? And I was like um because we're getting married in 2 weeks so we're working on our own wedding? (He's not coming to our wedding because he went to England again this year instead.) And he's like "what do you have left to do? Don't you have bridesmaids to do that?" And my fiance spoke up and was like "yeah and her bridesmaid is going to be at your party." I was so proud of him! My bridesmaid then spoke up and was like "do you need help with anything?" and I was like "sure if you want to come over some night next week to help that would be great" and then she was like "oh I can't..." And yeah they all left the wedding early right after the cake was cut. And they were on their phones all night playing Pokemon Go. So rude!

My thoughts exactly! Better safe then sorry!

Well as you said- dress orders get messed up! Thats why!!!

We got in a huge fight over it ! And she would just say things like "omg calm down" "you are over-reacting" or "relax, the wedding is so far away, why do we need a dress right now" and "just stop talking, i am still in your wedding" .... it has definitely put a strain on our relationship.

Holy bananas!

Sisters can be a real pain sometimes (and some more than others!) Have yo talked to her about how "uncooperative" she is being?

As a side note- I think it is a good choice not to kick her out. It would probably hurt your relationship long after the wedding, and no one wants that, no matter how much a a pain she can be!

She had a job at the time and managed to get the time off but then got that second job.... She also pulled a stunt shortly after this. Her and my sister got in a fight and my sister who didn't come up my threatening to leave my wedding and then lying to me about it... she also left the fb group I have which involves all the girls in the bridal party so we can communicate with each other, post ideas and suggestions in there ect.... she refused to pay for the bridesmaid dress that my sister had just bought her. It was a mess and I honestly wanted to kick her out of the wedding at that point but she is my sister and I knew if I did that she wouldn't let my niece be a flower girl and I already have the flower girl baskets and flower pedals! OH and I still havn't received an actual apology from my sister for all of this

*Eck* Double frustrating!

I can almost understand you sister- life comes up....but then I think, no. You had plans, and most new jobs know that arrangements might be funny in the first weeks.

And then to be phone checking everything as you go...she should have just been there! Not like she was working much while all that was going on!

I got really mad at one of my sister's who is a bridesmaid in the wedding. Back in July I had a whole week planned for my 2 sisters to drive up from Windsor (5 hour drive without traffic) and my niece was going to be coming as well. This was so we could have all my bridal party meet eachother and hopefully they would all find a dress that they could agree on. It had been planned since April or May at least and I booked the time off work and I had called 5-6 different stores and made appointments during the week so they had a variety to look at and this way we would find the dress in one shot and they wouldn't have to drive back up again over and over! About a week before they were supposed to come, my sister tells me I have a new job and my boyfriends mom is the boss and she wont let me get out of work. I said why didn't you tell her you will accept the job but you already had these plans made so you wont be able to start until you get back? She just said "I am not coming up just get over it"....I got pretty upset as we had made these plans long in advance. I had to cancel a room at each store and my sister that did come up had to find a dress for my other sister which meant calling her at the store and gave price points, material, and all that kind of stuff. It was super frustrating to me!

You know I'm on it

HAHA totally a dirty play!!! That B- Shall I send the bride cult after her?!?

The tug at the heartstrings! Thats a dirty play

It was a weird moment of frustration- I'm sure it will happen again!

I am trying to coordinate with my Mom, sister and two best friends. My friends are not in a "wedding party" but both still want to come look at dresses, which is great. Everyone just has crazy schedules (they are both nurses) and my sister works funny hours too....so when three people are available, one is not!

It might come down to breaking into teams and doing multiple trips- which is a bit aggrivating for me. I am trying on dresses in my hometown, because everyone lives there....but any dress I buy will likely come from online, or a shop in Toronto, just to keep alterations and fittings easier for me.

You'd think!!! I mean I would have totally lost my temper in this situation regardless of wedding planning because it's just disrespectful of others time. So I didn't feel bad until I told her if the time doesn't work I always said she is welcome to go without me and just send pics (though I've been telling them I'll be good with pretty much anything they feel comfortable in)! And she was sad and just said... but I want to do it with you . So that's when I felt a little "bridezilla-y"

My mom is a champ- she told me to stop being ridiculous. it helped

That would frustrate me too! At minimum you need a time!

No need to be sorry Simone! It is funny after the fact

Good for you for keeping your cool!

Oooh! I feel you Melissa!! When everything seems to be a lot at once I can totally become so emotional! Who are the people you're trying to gather to go dress shopping? I can't wait to see what dresses you'll try ont!! How many people will come with you?