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Maria
Newbie July 2022 British Columbia

Children at Weddings

Maria, on January 17, 2021 at 21:02 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 15
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Hello! I am having a difficult time deciding whether or not I will be allowing young children at my wedding. I was considering a child age limit (no children under the age of 8)? Any advice/suggestions are greatly appreciated. I am so conflicted at this point... (and actually having to tell people not to bring their kids makes me anxious)



15 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on March 1, 2021 at 21:47
  • Christine
    Curious April 2022 Ontario
    Christine ·
    • Dispute
    We've got a number of family members with kids under 8, so we can't not invite them. Most of our friends have 1 or 2 kids, but they are local to us with family in the area. So we've made the decision that any family kids would be allowed, as would out of town guests with kids (I.e would need to book a hotel as it's too far a drive home afterwards). We simply do not have the room or budget to have all the kids that we know. Our friends who are local with childcare are more than happy to have a kid-free night to celebrate with us.
    • Reply
  • S
    Newbie October 2022 Ontario
    Sheila ·
    • Dispute

    I'm having a similar situation. My fiance and I do not want children at the wedding, but with the people, we want to invite it would be hard for them to get a sitter (many of them are either out of the country or the people who would babysit would be at the wedding). I was thinking if of having an option of a 'daycare' like service on or off the venue and have people with children pay into it or half. Still currently in the planning stages of this idea. It hard. I love children, but them at a wedding with drinking and certain songs we want to play won't be a great mix. Hope that gives you an idea of what you could do.

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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user February 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    We have invited children to our wedding. We also have our own kids. It wouldnt be right to not invite other kids.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    We already have two young kids and if our guestlist has to be restricted I have no problem telling everyone too bad keep your kids home. Nicely of course!! But if we have a max of say 50 people, we’re looking at 8 kids and that’s only family, not friends’ kids, so there’s no way we’re dedicating that headcount to the children that we won’t even “hang out with” on our own wedding day. Just write it in your invite “Adults Only” and blame it on covid lol
    • Reply
  • Cockerton
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Cockerton ·
    • Dispute

    We made the call not to have kids either. We reached out to close family members who would have been bringing their kids (before COVID was a thing,) and explained we would be having adults only. Most of our guests understood and were fine with it! The only child that would have been in attendance would have been my niece, who is my flower girl.

    Now since we postponed, we are going down to a split wedding; 20 ppl only for our ceremony this summer and our original plan for later 2022. We still won't have kids at that reception either. If COVID has taught us anything is to make the day about you and what you both want without reservation.

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  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    When is your wedding? Just play it off as a covid restriction like “we can’t invite kids because there would be like 30 and that’s half our guestlist”
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    We had kids at our wedding. We had many out-of-province guests, so finding a babysitter would've been difficult for them, plus, our nieces/nephews were involved in the wedding and I couldn't justify letting them come and not others their age. It left it up to the parents to decide. If they wanted a night off, they could, or if they couldn't afford/couldn't find a babysitter, they could still celebrate with us.

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  • Stephanie
    Beginner July 2021 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    I am having no one under the age of 19, and have made it clear on my wedding website. We will only be having my niece for flower girl duties then home for the reception.
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute

    I think it comes down to whether you will enjoy your wedding more with or without kids. Then you can sort out which kids to invite (if any).

    Personally, I'm not a fan of kids in general and I didn't want them at my wedding (with the exception of my niece and nephews). We planned to only have them attend but they would have probably gone to a babysitter sometime after dinner so my siblings could enjoy the night. We don't have many friends or family members with kids so it would have only been a handful of kids not invited.

    But if you love kids and you think it would add to your wedding and make it more enjoyable then definitely invite them. If there are too many to invite you could always choose an age to cut off invites for. You could choose this cut off based on the number of kids (you can basically work your way down the list and when you've reached your max number make that the age cut off). Or it could just be based on maturity - you might want the kids to sort of take care of themselves during the wedding so maybe something like 10 or 12+ would be a good cut off age. Or you could cut off the list based on their relationship to you (i.e. family member's kids only or close friend's kids only or kids you've met only, etc).

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  • Shantel
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Shantel ·
    • Dispute

    My wedding will be adults only. The only children attending the wedding is our children and my god children ( they'e in the wedding). Our decision was based on budget and I didn't want kids running around and ect.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Beginner June 2022 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute

    My fiance and I are allowing children of family, as we're all very close-knit. That being said, we've decided NOT to extend the invitation to children of friends. We love ALL our nieces and nephews dearly, but we also have to be conscious of budget, haha.

    The following is what I'm putting on my wedding website FAQ:

    "Can I bring my children?

    We love all your children immensely, however due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that children are only invited if named."

    • Reply
  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute
    Just out of curiosity, how closely related are the children and why wouldn’t you want them there? The reason I ask is because that will affect if you have no kids versus a kid age limit. If you’re just worried about adult shenanigans, an age limit to allow teenagers but not kids is totally fine. Otherwise, it isn’t wrong to want an adult only event, and some of your guests will probably be thankful to be able to call the babysitter in for a night and have some fun.
    It’s totally fair to have your own reasons too. For me, my cousins have kids and they’re absolutely wild. I wanted to impose a no-kid rule from the start so that guests saw that we were firm and that no exceptions were going to be made. We didn’t end up inviting extended family so it was a moot point, but I’m glad we planned for it so that we’d have been ready.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Curious November 2021 Manitoba
    Kimberly ·
    • Dispute
    We are having an adults only wedding with the only exception being my fiancés only niece and nephew since his family is very small. It was important to both of us to not have children at the wedding and none are in the bridal party.
    • Reply
  • Bella
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Bella ·
    • Dispute
    So on our invites we put adult only reception. This will avoid having to tell people. However, me and my fiance both know that our nephews and nieces will be in attendance which we are fine with, it's moreso for extended family and family friends with kids.
    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    What are your reasons for not wanting kids at the wedding? Why age 8 as opposed to 12 or something? Do you have children in the family? If so, will you allow them to attend or no?

    A lot of people have adult-only weddings so it's not out of norm. You might get push back but you do you.

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