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Soraya
Beginner September 2022 Ontario

Bridesmaids dilemma

Soraya, on January 1, 2021 at 19:19 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 18
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Hi everyone,


So, I have this dilemma. See fiancé wants two groomsmen and obviously one best man. In my case I wanted 5 girls in total. But I taught It would be awkward to have 5 girls on one side and tree man on the other. So I said never mind.
We will only have my maid of honour and his best men. But I’m kind of sad to not have my girls with me. So I was wondering how could I include my friends in my wedding?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on January 11, 2021 at 11:35
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You can choose how many MOHs and BMs you want to be in your wedding party. The numbers on each side isn't a factor as long as you both are happy with your decisions. We didn't have much of a wedding party as we wanted only 1 each per side of MOH and BM (Best Man). It was the easiest decision made since we had 72 guests attended and keeping it simple.

    I've seen some of my cousins that got married and had different ways of wedding party. One had none as she wanted her brothers/cousins to walk her down holding a large material above her. The last wedding I attended, both sides had 10 each side. My cousin had 2 MOH and 8 BMs as for her husband 1 BM and 9 GM.

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  • Jessica
    Newbie June 2023 Ontario
    Jessica ·
    • Dispute
    Have them with you! Don’t worry how it’ll look! I have 2 maids of honour 4 bridesmaids and my hubby has 1 best man and 3 groomsmen. We’re having it so, the best man will walk with each bridesmaid on each arm, and the last groomsman will walk with a bridesmaid on each arm! It’s your wedding. There’s no rules!
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  • Ashlea
    Curious June 2021 Alberta
    Ashlea ·
    • Dispute
    I had the exact same issue, three guys and five girls. So I decided the best man and maid of honour would walk together, and each groomsman would walk with two bridesmaids. I’ve seen lots of weddings with uneven bridal party numbers and I never thought it was weird.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    View quoted message

    Of course! I don't have any sisters either so my fiance and I decided that we would only have one on either side standing up for us. So I decided to go with my best friend. Easiest choice to make!

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  • Jess
    Newbie June 2023 Alberta
    Jess ·
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    I also agree that the number doesn't absolutely have to match on both sides. 2 of the brides'maids' are guys and i also don't have a lot of close friends (or another sister lol) so my wedding party will be super mix matched and random!
    • Reply
  • Chantelle
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Chantelle ·
    • Dispute
    I have 8 girls and my fiance has 6. I have been in 5 weddings myself and all were mix matched number of guys and girls. Never really made a huge difference, just need a good photographer who knows how to position you.
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  • Maude
    Curious March 2022 Ontario
    Maude ·
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    Thanks for this. I was dealing with the same thing. I don't have any sisters, but my fiance has two brothers, so our numbers are most likely not going to be the same. Glad to see that it will still probably look okay.

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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
    • Dispute
    I don’t think it would look wrong to have 5 and 3. But I am including two friends who are honorary bridesmaids but not actually bridesmaids by having them stay at the air bnb the night before with me and we will all get ready together the next morning
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
    • Dispute
    I have about 6-8 girls I would love to have as bridesmaids but my Fiancé will only be having 2-3 on his side. Symmetry is important to me and I have talked to all my friends and they all understand. They have all offered to help with whatever I need. I plan on having all of them get ready with me the day of and getting them a little gift to thank them for their help.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Beginner August 2023 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    I’m having 3 bridesmaids and 1 bridesman and my partner is having 1 best man and 4 ushers! I decided not to worry about it as these are the people we want up there!


    Do you have any kids in the family? Could you have a couple of ring bearers if you were set on the even numbers?
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    In this day in age it doesn't matter how many bridesmaid and groomsmen you have. A lot of couples have uneven numbers. I would go with whatever number of bridesmaids and groomsmen as you wish. It's your big day!

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  • Soraya
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Soraya ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you for response. My friends have kids and I just don’t want to put any pressure on them but I definitely want them by my side. So hopefully they will still want to help without the official title.
    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    You definitely don't need even numbers. If you're worried about photos you can ask your photographer to mix the group together rather than having the guys and girls in 2 groups.


    We hadn't planned to have a wedding party pre-pandemic, and I was really clear about it with my friends. They still wanted to throw me a bachelorette weekend, they helped a lot with making paper wedding flowers, and they came dress shopping too. In the end it was easier to have a wedding party and not "invite" people so that no feelings were hurt by selectively inviting some friends and not others. We got engaged in September and I didn't ask them to be bridesmaids until July/August for our October wedding. If they love you and support you they'll be cool getting to do the fun stuff without the official title.
    • Reply
  • Soraya
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Soraya ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you very much for your advice. Takes the stress of.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I'm with everyone else, you do not need even numbers and should have whoever you want standing by your side. If FH and I had decided to have a wedding party, he would've had 5 and I would've had 3. Instead though we're having each person have a different special role. 1 will walk our dog down the aisle since he's our ring bearer, 2 will be ushers, 2 will be our MC's, 2 will be our witnesses, and 1 offered to sing a song while we sign the documents. You can get pretty creative if you feel like you really need even numbers and to give the rest an active role on the day.
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute
    You can totally have uneven numbers. I think it would only look awkward if you had like 9 or 10 and he only had 1 or some huge difference like that.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    It's totally fine if you want uneven numbers if both you and your FH are okay with it. But if you prefer symmetry yet want to involve the other girls, you still can. When one of my groomsmen got married, I wasn't one of his groomsmen but I was still pretty involved: I was at the bachelor party, I helped with little tasks on the day of (I set up the projector for the slideshow), and was in a good chunk of the wedding photos they took during cocktail hour. The only difference was I didn't have to get the matching suit and vest for the day of, nor did I have to be a part of any grand entrances or stand up at the altar/eat at the head table, which was fine. So your girlfriends could certainly be involved without being official bridesmaids.

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  • Olivia
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Olivia ·
    • Dispute
    Don’t worry about numbers! I have eight girls and my fiancé has four Smiley smile
    Uneven numbers actually looks pretty cool in photos and don’t stress about how they’ll look at the altar, all the guests will be focused on you and your fiancé and the photographer likely won’t be snapping photos of the bridal party during that time.
    That being said, if you still choose not to have them, they could be your MCs, say a speech at the reception, greet&seat guests, do a reading during the ceremony, lots of options!!
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