Bridal shower question

Don’t do it. It creates a big mess. At my sister in laws wedding there was a woman that invited herself and her friend to the shower. The woman then invited herself to the wedding ceremony! She wasn’t even dressed nice or anything! She just showed up. We were actually talking about it yesterday and it left my sil with a really bad taste in her mouth. Hopefully no one you know is like that but don’t invite people to one and not the other. It’s messy, people get upset. It’s easier to not be invited at all than to be half invited.

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I really like it. We pay like $2 a month and that money is pooled and when someone gets married, has a baby, loses a family member or leaves the job there is a gift given by a committee. And a card circulates the office. I find this less stressful. At another place we had a gift committee but they would send around an envelope for cash donations. I would either never have smaller bills or only have change, or feel like I should put more/less in when seeing others contribution. It's just too much pressure.

I wouldn't. It just seems awkward to me to invite someone only to the shower portion and then for them to not be able to actually attend the wedding.

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The work fund idea is so cute - love it!

I would say no, those invited should be invited to the wedding as well. That way you don't have to deal with the awkward "am I invited?" In the same sense you also don't need to invite everyone to the bridal shower that is being invited to the wedding. I'm thinking of having a smaller bridal shower.

I agree with everyone here and think that those invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding unless a really small wedding and everyone knows beforehand. At my work we have a gift fund we contribute to monthly and when someone gets married they get a gift and also a little tea party (tea and snacks).

Bridal shower should be people you want there and close friends and family. Co workers that are only invited i do agree with everyone to be there part of the wedding too. Never give the feeling to those guests attending the bridal shower they are only there for the one occasion. The weddi g day they will wonder why they didn't attend.

If it’s work colleagues throwing you a bridal shower then it’s fine if they’re not invited (you can’t invite all our coworkers to your wedding). BUT if it’s your MOH throwing you a bridal shower and she asks for a guest list, don’t invite people who aren’t invited to the wedding. It’s a real faux pas.

I'm having a wedding shower where most people are NOT invited to the wedding actually.

I didn't want a shower, cause we didn't need more gifts. My cousins asked if we do a shower so we can invite some extended family members (My dad's cousins for example) who are not invited to the wedding so they have a way to celebrate with me. They are all aware they aren't invited to the wedding as there's too many of them, but just want a chance to celebrate! I have asked for no gifts though.

I think if you invite anyone to a wedding-related event then they should also be invited to the actual wedding. If your work decides to throw you a party then that is different as you had no hand in the organization (likely you didn't even know it was going to happen).

Traditional etiquette states that if you are invited to any pre-wedding celebrations, you are invited to the wedding. If you're on one guest list, you're also on the wedding guest list.

Now, that's different if your work throws you a party. If they are choosing to do it for you and you have no part in organizing it, that does not obligate you to give them an invitation. But if someone outside of work is hosting the party and your work friends are invited to that, then they should be invited to the wedding too.

I'm definitely against it, I personally find it kind of ride to invite anyone to anything wedding related but not the actual wedding. When you get invited to an engagement party or bridal shower you kind of expect to be invited to the wedding. That's my personal opinion, maybe your friends might be okay with being invited to the shower but not the wedding.

I'm against it but my MOH really wants to throw me a shower so I was kind of pressured into it as most of my girlfriends live in another province so won't be coming for the shower.

I wouldn't, personally I find it a little rude to ask them to give you a gift and celebrate your upcoming wedding without being invited.
If your work threw you a party and they weren't invited then that is their choice and a very generous one but I wouldn't invite them to one otherwise.
It depends on your relationship with them though, some of my coworkers aren't invited to the wedding but asked to come to the bridal shower because they know I don't have the room for them all to come to the wedding itself

I'm against inviting people to a shower but not the wedding. My wedding is going to be a small 40 person family member only affair. I do have a group of friends insisting on throwing me a post-wedding shower so they can see the photos, but that's their wish, not mine. I protested but finally said ok, but no gifts (I think asking for shower gifts (and the typical shower invitation *is* a request for gifts) but not inviting them to the wedding is kinda tacky).

Personally, I'm kind of against inviting people to the bridal shower that aren't invited to the wedding (unless of course you're having a really small wedding - like under 40 people). I think if someone wants to throw you a shower, like your mom's work friends, and they know they're not invited to the wedding, that's their choice and a bit of an exception.

If you're throwing the shower yourself or providing the guest list to the person who is it's hard to tell a guest you'll have room at the shower for them but can't make room for them at the wedding (again, unless it's a really intimate wedding).

Again, that's just my opinion and I think there are some exceptions for a few people but as a general rule I'm going to try my best to avoid it.