Best marriage advice?

The best ones I've received actually came from my family:

My aunt always said that you dictate how your partner treats you. Mostly in what they can or can't get away with what you do, and that really resonated with me when finding the right person for me.

In contrast, my cousin always said that the key to their success was always to see themselves as a team. Although they're still two people, they're still one team who works together and raises each other up. Victories and burdens come from both sides. A variation of my mom's famous 'give and take' words.

Best advise is to keep communication going and cool down when upset before talking.

Also, never make any big decisons without consulting your spouse as financial burden can create debt if not paid on time. Be on the same page always.

Recently had my bridal shower where the guests gave me advice, these are some of the notable ones:

From my SIL: If condoms are your jam, Costco sells the best ones in a huge can Forgive often.

From a friend: It's okay to focus on just the two of you in the beginning. All of your other relationships will fall into place.

From fiance's single sister: Don't do it...it's a trap. (I took this as a joke, but my friend thinks she is against marriage based on things she said before I arrived, but, we're doing it!)

Fiance's SIL: Don't stress about the little things the day of

Fiance's mom: Make sure he does his own laundry

My MOH: kiss when you leave home and when you come home

View quoted message I've heard a LOT about this as well, especially now that cohabitation after a period of time can also be regarded as marriage!

Don't go to bed mad! Also in general don't walk away from a fight. No leaving the house! You can go sulk for a little bit in another room in order to prevent mean words from being said because 9/10 you are saying something just to hurt the other - but at the end of it come to an agreement and a solution to not have it happen again if you can help it.

My parents, who still have an amazing marriage, often say that you should always have your partner’s back/never talk badly about them to others. They mean you should avoid jumping in when coworkers or girl friends start complaining about their men in the staff room or while out for drinks. Your partner is your person and any gripe should be dealt with them directly. I think it’s solid advice!

I don't want to be a bummer or anything but I have found a lot of cynicism about marriage and love and companionship as soon as I got engaged. Like so many people have told me "oh don't do it, it's a waste of time", "it's stupid", "it'll just end in divorce which is even more money" and here I am blissfully happy that I'm throwing a party to celebrate spending the rest of my life with my best friend and all around me (no one close but still) is just negativity.

Sorry about the tone of this post, it just upsets me how people can be so rude and insensitive some times...

I've heard the 'never go to bed angry" one as well. That's very important, we apply it constantly. Someone did tell me once : "make sure you laugh at each other at least once a day". I'm sure it's not in a mocking way, but more of a having fun kind of way.

Best advice I've received so far:

- Marriage is work. Don't expect to get anything from nothing

- Communication is key

- You have to both like and love your partner

- Keep an open mind and be willing to compromise

- Try new things together

- Be honest with each other

View quoted message

That's amazing advise. I have met very many couples who do nothing but argue all the time and bicker and call each other names and complain about each other but then claim that they're so in love.

To me that's not a very healthy relationship. in my opinion you need to really like the person who you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

My grandma told me this long before I was engaged: It's not enough to just love your partner, you have to like them too. In other words, your husband or wife should be your best friend.

The only piece of advice I’ve heard so far is that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper: meaning that if the relationship is crap before the wedding, don’t expect anything to change!

Best advice i got so far:
- never go to bed angry/upset
- always be honest with each other.