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Jenna
Newbie June 2019 Ontario

Asking a family member to sing at the wedding

Jenna, on August 20, 2018 at 00:14 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 11
Hello!

I want to ask my cousin to sing at the wedding. He's a professional and does musical theater and is incredibly talented. But do you think that it is tacky to ask? Or would put him on the spot? I know that he is not shy in any way as he loves to perform.

What's a good way to word it when Inask him?

Thanks in advance!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on September 12, 2018 at 12:12
  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    Yes, I second this. Being a professional in the arts industry is tough, and its insane how much they get asked to do things for free. This is how he makes a living, so definitely offer to pay him.

    He may offer to do it for free, but put forward the offer to hire him and let him make that decision.

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  • Samantha
    Beginner September 2018 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    If you guys have a good relationship, then ask him! Tell him exactly what you told us - you think he's talented, a great musician, and it would make you very happy to have him perform on your big day.


    We asked my FH's cousin and his girlfriend to sing/play guitar while I walk down the aisle. We would have asked them to perform for the reception as well, but our venue is small.

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  • Shelby
    Curious August 2019 Alberta
    Shelby ·
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    I feel like if you are close with a good relationship why not? My family does it to me ALL THE TIME 😂 I personally dont like it because I'm super shy, but by the same token its encouraging and feels good. Sometimes I do sometimes I dont. Doesnt hurt to ask! 😊😊
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  • Holly
    Frequent user November 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I have asked my uncle to sing at my wedding and he is super excited. We've given him the songs we'd like him to play and plan on getting him a little present like a gift card or bottle of his favorite whiskey as a thank you

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  • Emily
    Devoted November 2018 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    It's definitely not tacky. I've sung at tons of weddings, and it's always an honour! I think he would be happy to help. Just make sure you give him your song/songs a few months in advance so he has time to rehearse them Smiley smile If he was already invited as a guest, I would just give him a "thank you" bottle of wine.
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    It's not tacky. I think you should offer to pay him; he may decide to do it as a gift or he may not. And you can let him know he has time to think about it.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Its no harm to ask him to sing. He may feel honoured and say yes.

    If he feels it may not for him saying no, he will want to enjoy his evening.
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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    I don't think its tacky at all. especially if you have a good relationship with them.

    when I asked a family member about playing piano at my wedding. I started out with "please don't feel obligated to say yes to me" and then asked/talked about it. they ended up declining due to nerves and her not wanting to make a mistake for our wedding (shes a piano teacher and doesn't do weddings/events like that anymore. but I figured it was worth a shot asking because she used to teach me piano)

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    If he is a professional, and makes a living off his singing, typically you'd offer to "hire him"... and you'd want to pay him some amount to perform... That way, he's not doing it as a favour, and can also politely decline the offer if he's not interested.

    Phrasing it in some sort of way as, "I'm looking to hire some performers for the wedding, would you be interested in being one of them?"

    The only time you really get someone doing stuff like that for free is if a close family member offers it first.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Go out for coffee and try and get a feeling for whether he would be down for that. Just remember - the worst he can do is say no! And that's nothing big. You can always brush it off as "just a thought".

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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    Are you fairly close to him? If so then it’s not tacky at all. If you never speak to him and only really see him at family events like weddings then some people may say yes. I don’t think so, but others might.

    If your not sure about asking or feel awkward you could always try and feel out the situation through other people. For example have one your parents mention to your cousins’ parent (their sibling) how it would be nice for your cousin to sing and see how they react to it.

    If you are concerned about putting him on the spot, just make sure to tell him when you ask that understand if he can’t do it and won’t be offended at all if he says no. If he’s a professional singer I’m sure he’s used to these requests.
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