Are Registries helpful or hated?

As I guest I personally love when couples have a registry! I enjoy "shopping" through it for them and I'm happy knowing I'm giving them something they will want and use

I feel the same way, we really do not need anything. I have already had people asking us about our registry though so we decided to create one. We are using www.myregistry.com so we can ask for odds and ends from multiple places. As it is we still have very few items on it but hopefully this way we will not get a lot of things we already have.

If you want a registry for the home, its up to you. As a couple, ypu need to know if your wanting to upgrade some items and not purcahse them now.

My thoughts on giving cash on the other hand (though some feel offended) is its up to the couple. Generally Indian weddings never are given gifts now just cash. Same i did and found its something we can get ourselves instead.

I for one would rather give cash knowing its beung used for what the couple wants to get or put towards a goal of a house or home improvement.

We registered on my registry. This way we could add a little bit from here and there. People are going to get you gifts so might as well ask for the things you may need. We have new dishes on it because we own mix match of 4 sets. Also different pots and pans set.

It's honestly just a great way to update things you have! New set of sheets or pillows... dishes or appliances!
As much as I prefer cash too to put towards our honeymoon or something, some people prefer to give a physical item! Check out bed bath and beyond trust me with a few clicks you'll have a bunch of things added hahah!!

We used our registry to upgrade a few things and ask for some things that we would have otherwise saved for for a bit. It is nice to give people the option of buying you an actual gift that they know you will like.

Overall it's helpful. And also, many people feel impersonal giving cash, even when they know it's exactly what you need/want/asked for. It's putting a blatant dollar value on their gift, versus a physical gift that they picked, wrapped, and was excited to give you. Even if you know how much something cost (as you put it on the registry), it's not quite as obvious as cash or a cheque.

Also, having a registry is not implying that you are expecting gifts. It is the norm with showers and weddings that gifts are given. It's the tradition. You're not being weird or greedy. I felt the same weirdness, but it's what people know, and what they expect. As long as your conscious of different budgets, you're fine.

We were also in a very awkward place when it came to registry... We have been together 5.5 years... 6 years by the wedding, and we have an apartment full of stuff. We didn't need anything to "start our life together"... I told my mom we weren't going to do a physical registry, and she thought that many women (younger or older), like to get physical gifts for at least the shower. So I started to wrap my head around getting "fresh" items, or missing items I wouldn't often let myself buy.

So after some "soul searching"... I found out I did need: a new set of stemless wine glasses, scotch glasses for him, new cutlery, new towels, a new bedding set (one for our room, one for our guest room), and other new kitchen items to replace ones I'd been given or purchase secondhand. Etc...

At first I didn't want to do it at all... but we went to Bed Bath and Beyond and just started walking around. We only did the registry for the Bridal Shower (smaller gifts, <$100, more in the 30-50$ range). For the Wedding we will be doing a Honeymoon Registry, probably with Honeyfund.

I like Honeyfund because you can build your registry in pieces. For example, we have booked a cruise, flights (with airmiles), hotels, and we will be doing a drink package and excursions. I can add a category for each thing, so people can choose what they want to be "contributing" to... Pay for an excursion, help with a hotel, towards the cruise, etc...

I wasn’t keen on having one either but lots of people have been asking so it’s helped them get an idea of what we want and our taste (if they want to get us something else). As mentioned it also helps not getting 3 blenders, etc.
You can always ask your families if they tend to do cash or physical gifts for weddings. If everyone does cash then I’d skip it and not worry. If you have a mix a small one can be helpful.

We did not have a registry for our wedding, and must of our guests knew that meant cash gifts. Some people still gave us a gift but those were in addition to a monetary gift because they knew we would love the item. My BFF actually wrote on her invite "monetary gift preferred" and no one was too offended which i thought was interesting, cuz i was slightly. I think if you don't have a registry that's sign enough of what you prefer.

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Actually, I have a few friends who didn't have a registry and ended up getting a great deal of gifts they didn't need. I had a few friends who put "cash is preferred" on their wedding invitations and it worked out fine. All my guests are either close family or friends so they understand that we need all the help we can get.

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It's very poor etiquette to mention gifts in the invitation. By not having a registry, you are communicating your preference for cash/gift cards.

Pleeeeease don't put "give us money" in your invitations!

If you are only doing a registry because you feel you need to in order to give your guests inspo, I'd say don't. By having a registry, you are communicating that there are things you need for your home, so people will automatically buy stuff from the registry and you'll end up with a bunch of stuff that's nice to have but not necessary.

If you're already set up in your home, you're better off having no registry, because people will then default to gifting cash, gift cards, etc.

As for whether they're helpful or hated? I'd say most people consider them quite helpful, which is why they became popular in the first place. No one wants to buy a gift for someone only to find out they already have 3 of the same thing.

My FH and I are in our 40s and have a house we've shared for 8 Years. We are going to do something I read in a bridal magazine. We are registering for a Honeymoon at a local travel agency for my Shower.

Thank you everyone for your input!

I agree - the registry is helpful for those who want to buy a physical gift.

My fiancé and I have also lived together for several years, are in our later 30's and have everything we -need-. We realized that while most of our family/friends will give us cash at the wedding (we have a honeyfund registry for our honeymoon set up), some of our older relatives will want to give a traditional, physical gift. And guests at the bridal shower may want to, as well.

So we did one small registry at a store - we used it as a chance to put on things we would -like- but that we probably wouldn't buy for ourselves because what we have works just fine (matching china, a really nice vacuum, new kitchen gadgets, etc).

Similar to you, I already have everything I need for my place. Therefore, I am going to make it clear in my invitation that we prefer cash gifts only as it will go towards our honeymoon fund! I've heard stories from my friends who received weird gifts at their wedding...Not only are they not useful but now they have to find a way of getting rid of it!

I find alot of the younger people tend to give cash or gift cards, but alot of the older generations prefer giving gifts. And, I think most people still tend to give gifts at the shower. I think it's helpful to have a registry; it at least gives your guests an option. If your guest prefers giving cash, they will still give cash even if you have a registry. If they prefer giving gifts, they will still give a gift, and if you don't have a registry, they will find their own gift to give.

As a wedding guest, I find it significantly easier to just give a monetary gift - but that’s my go-to! I’ve only ever encountered a registry once (for a baby shower) and I personally found it cumbersome.

As a bride, I’m not doing a registry either because FH and I have been living together for 5 years (will be 6 by the time we get married) and we literally don’t need anything else. If people want to give physical gifts they will welcomed all the same, but definitely not aiming to add more clutter into our lives lol.

I have been to a few weddings these past few years where I don't know the couple, or don't know them well (I'm a plus one), and I find that registries are super helpful. And even when you know them, I feel like I would rather give the couple something I know they need/love instead of an awful vase that will be regifted after.

You get to chose what you want rather than people having free range to buy what they want to - so there's that. (No getting 3 of the same thing.) As a wedding guest I will give you a present at the shower or a gift card for where you are registered. If you don't have a registry I will most likely give less and in cash. I will give the same monetary amount at the wedding regardless of whether or not I give a gift at the shower.